The Queen's Rambles

As predicted, we had a very long night indeed. I doubt I got two hours sleep, total. Poor Miss Elsa is absolutely miserable and there’s just not much we can do for her.

You’d think a sick baby and an exhausted mommy would be enough to make any day pretty crappy, but fate had more in store for us today.

I was happily sitting at my computer when I suddenly got a pop up window that said my hard drive was damaged and I would lose data, but I must reboot. I didn’t know what data I would lose, but I wasn’t working on anything important so I rebooted.

Every picture was gone off my computer.

Every.

Single.

Picture.

Even icons.

Do you know what a computer looks like without icons? Freaky.

I about wanted to puke. I have back-ups of the best pictures on Flickr and Shutterfly, but I haven’t done any backing up since shortly after Vancouver. I was hoping it was all a big mistake and the pictures were just hiding.

Before I could figure it out, Elsa started coughing really hard. Did I ever mention that Elsa has a really strong gag reflex?

I heard The Gurgle in her stomach. Sadly, I know The Gurgle well.

Less than 4 seconds later I was covered in puke from head to toe. It was in my mouth, my hair, my underwear.

I started stripping her and she puked again, right when the shirt was going over her head. She got it in her eyes, her hair. Every where.

So off we went for our second shower of the morning.

When we finally got settled and I checked my computer, the whole thing was covered in error windows. I thought I would have to send my computer in to Dell to get it repaired because it kept saying it was a hardware error.

So that was happening.

The puke happened.

The crying, cranky baby was happening.

I whined to FB that my day was bad and “what else could possibly go wrong?”

Not even 30 minutes later I thought my washing machine was coming unhooked from the wall. Then I thought we were being bombed or a truck was running through my house. Something was happening and my brain couldn’t even begin to process the noise and the movement. Was our A/C unit on fire? Did someone shoot my neighbor? Was a train loose?

It was terrifying in the moment, until I realized it was just a big ol’ earthquake shaking the shit out of my house.

When I got my wits about me, I grabbed Elsa (who was finally, FINALLY sleeping) and ran out the door to collect Erik from the park. She was dressed in a diaper. I had no shoes on. It was like something out of a bad movie.

I was yelling for him as I approached the little park and he thought it would be a great time to hide. Thankfully a guy from the low income house saw that he was under the play structure at the park and pointed him out to me. Apparently he hadn’t felt a thing, even though all the neighbors were out and the kids were all saying the fences in the neighborhood had been shaking. One kid even fell off his bike.

Overall, the earthquake wasn’t bad at all, except for that initial terror of “what the hell is happening?” It just made us nervous for the rest of the day and I didn’t want Erik playing outside in case of aftershocks.

Once Mike got home, I had a little chat with Dell tech support and some guy in India remotely fixed my computer.

How, you ask?

By completely wiping my system and setting it back to factory settings.

Obviously he did it with permission, but there wasn’t much choice. I am lamenting all the lost pictures.

There is one good thing. I was supposed to fix my e-mail accounts a couple of months ago when Kisha figured out why I was having problems. Thunderbird automatically synced my accounts so it doesn’t matter which computer I am on–my e-mail inboxes will look the same and I can access any message from either my laptop or my desktop. This is a problem because it stores the messages on the server.

I’ve been really good about deleting stuff, but it is still a pain to make sure I am not going over my data limit. I keep meaning to re-do everything and make it so the e-mails come off the server and are stored on my laptop. I guess it is a very good thing I didn’t get around to fixing it, since I have some pretty important e-mails that I can’t afford to lose.

Well.

Pretty important in my little world. I don’t have the cure for cancer tucked away in a secret e-mail file.

I am so stressed out right now that I can barely think straight. We are doing an open house for my MOMS Club and I have a ton of stuff I need to take care of but I can’t seem to get started. Before I left for Oregon I was getting into a list making mode. First time in my life that I ever used lists and crossed things off. And you know? It made me so much more productive.

Tomorrow I shall revive the lists. I am overwhelmed and the lists help break things down into manageable steps. Erik has five hours of camp tomorrow, so if Elsa is feeling a bit better I should be able to knock some things off the list. I really need to make some fliers for this open house but my desktop publishing skills are abysmal. Bah. I need to write a press release for a local kid newsletter. I need to figure out what, exactly, we need to bring to this open house and have all the files printed and prepared. My stomach hurts just thinking about it.

And with that, I shall leave you. Time to hit the hay. I am functioning on very little brain power tonight, but with all the craziness of the day I am wishing I had a sleeping pill handy. Why do I not have a stash of sleeping pills any more? I think it is high time I visited the pharmacy and loaded up on barbiturates. Not that OTC sleeping pills are actually barbiturates. Are they?

Maybe I should just re-watch the movie I watched this afternoon: Dear Lemon Lima. Very bizarre stuff. I can’t do slow moving movies with plots that make no sense. I bet a lot of people liked it, though. It was pretty quirky in a sort of Napoleon Dynamite way, only depressing.

Speaking of Netflix movies, what the heck happened to Kristen Bell? She did such a fabulous job in “Veronica Mars” that I was sure she was destined for great things. She could play any one! She could do anything! Yet every movie I’ve seen her in makes me want to cringe. I watched You Again yesterday. It was ok, but had a lot of cringe worthy moments. I tried to watch that movie where she was in Italy, but I couldn’t do it. Why, Kristen, why? Is she just picking the wrong parts? Do movie studios not take her seriously because she’s young and blonde? I don’t know. I miss Veronica.

I have been deeply unhappy with our carpet for quite awhile. Basically since we moved in. Of course it gets worse and worse over time and I make declarations about tearing it out barehanded, but I am not that foolish. I am not a home repair whiz.

I finally remembered that when the carpet gets unbearable you can rent a steam cleaner and make it a little better. Duh!

So that’s what we did today. We opted out of the county fair, and spent the afternoon moving furniture and lifting buckets of water. Our living room looks much better, but we haven’t tackled the dining room yet. I have a feeling the dining room will need to be done at least twice.

Our new neighbors have been keeping Erik entertained for hours upon hours. They seem like really nice people, though my eyes about boggled out of my head when the guy told me they are 27. They got married right out of high school and had baby number shortly after. He’s looking forward to his 40s.

My 40s are staring me in the face and they are not looking to be child free. I hope by the time my 40s roll around I won’t be doing any more diaper changes. We certainly aren’t planning on any more kids and I think Elsa is neurotypical so should be able to be trained before the age of 4.

I started watching “Torchwood” from the beginning on Netflix and enjoyed the first two episodes. I don’t really see how it is the same series as the “Torchwood: Miracle Day” but whatever. They have a couple of the same people and that seems to be it. I can enjoy it and be highly skeptical about everyone’s motivations, right?

Thank you all for your comments on the kosher keeping dinner guests. I did not realize it was so involved. Yikes! I don’t get it, but I guess I’m not Jewish so I’m not meant to get it. I should not have been worried. They are not kosher keeping, but the wife is vegetarian. I’ve suggested we meet in the middle and have a fun little tourist day in downtown DC instead of them trying to come out here without a car. Hopefully that will work out a little better.

I’m really frustrated right now because I want to put Microsoft Publisher on my laptop. I legitimately own it and I even bought a back-up CD so I wouldn’t get burned by a bad computer, but now I don’t have the product key. My e-mail problems (resolved, thank you Kisha!) mean that the e-mail with the product key was deleted. Supposedly I can log in to my account and it will have the product key. Only problem: what e-mail address was I logged in with? Neither of mine, that’s for sure. I was on Mike’s computer, so perhaps he has a Microsoft account. I’ll check with him later, but he is currently dealing with a sleepy Elsa. I have a few things I really need to get done and the desktop chair kills my back like nothing else. I would be a lot more productive if my laptop had the program I actually need.

But at least Mike found the charger for the camera! Now I can take pictures of my sweet, sweet children. Well. They look sweet anyway. They mostly act sweet. Somedays, though. I tell ya. Parenthood is hard. Duh.

I can’t believe Erik starts school in 9 days. I don’t anticipate crying. I might get a little misty eyed at some point, but I don’t know when that point will be. So far I’ve celebrated all his growing up points. I think I was the only mom doing a happy dance on the first day of preschool.

Somedays I do look at Elsa and think little bittersweet thoughts about never having a toddler again, but then she climbs on the table and gets into trouble or puts a roll of TP in the toilet and I realize I don’t want to go through another toddlerhood.

She had her first full blown temper tantrum today. She has always shown that she has a quick temper, though she is generally pretty mellow. Today was just the first time she’s laid on the floor and did the whole flailing thing. I just laughed and walked away.

I’ve been reading the official MOMS Club manual to make sure I understand everything and I want to scratch my eyes out. It listed five reasons that we aren’t allowed to have daytime activities. The third reason? Mothers should never be encouraged to go outside after dark because they might get raped. Seriously. What is this, 1902? Sure, rape happens. I am not trying to minimize that, but women should not lock themselves away in fear. So ridiculous.

Ok, I better go fix Erik some dinner and warm up some delicious tortilla soup for myself. I love the tortilla soup leftovers when I remember to add bay leaves. Yumyumyum.

If you know me, you know my six months discombobulation theory. Basically, Erik goes insane a couple of months before his birthday and his half birthday.

Guess what happened on August 13?

Insanity.

Oh, the wailing!

Oh, the gnashing of teeth!

Oh, the mass consumption of Advil (for me).

He started crying at the park today. Crying. Real tears. Because he was “scared of the other kids. They might talk to [him].”

Discombobulation, he has it. If you’ve ever met him, you probably don’t even believe that he uttered the statement that he was scared of the other kids.

I’ve been white knuckling my way through the days, trying not to be a terrible mommy and shake him until he can get a grip. Seriously, who needs to wail like a fire engine for a full hour because of a popped balloon? I can be patient with that for about five minutes, but then I’m done. I hold out a little longer, but finally I had to tell him he could be sad and cry, but he had to do it in his room.

Did I mention we have new neighbors? Actually, we have new neighbors on both sides of us. One set moved in a few weeks ago and we haven’t seen much of them. The others just moved in two days ago and we’ve already seen a lot of the kids. They have a 9 year old girl and a 6 year old boy and they’ve fit right in to the neighborhood. The girl is sad that there aren’t more girls, but the boy is loving having a band of friends to run around with. I’m loving having a friend right across the . . . not even sure what to call it. We are in an end unit townhouse with a side facing entrance. We face their front door. There is a patch of dirt and tree separating us. Having a friend a little closer keeps Erik a little closer.

I have an extremely cranky baby this afternoon. She was sleeping so well until Erik came up and started pestering me about helping him with his video game. We have issues. I can’t wait until Erik goes to school so Elsa will be able to get uninterrupted naps. I am going to train her to go down in the crib, but I can’t do it with Erik here because he freaks out if she is crying, which makes matters about 10000000x worse.

I was at a MOMS Club event yesterday and Elsa wanted to be nursed. One of the other moms was totally horrified and asked me how old she was. When I said 16 months, she rushed to her bag and pulled out a bottle of Mavala, this nasty anti-thumbsucking fingernail polish and instructed me to put it on my nipples.

Ok.

First of all, I am not going to stop nursing because someone I barely know thinks I should quit nursing.

Not that I want to nurse forever. I am sort of weaning her.

Second of all.

Oh. My. God.

Fingernail polish on my nipples????

So not going to happen.

So I put a tiny bit on my thumb just to see how it felt on the skin and to appease this lady. She’s a nice lady, just very young and not very politically correct. I like her, despite the mommy drive by.

I forgot all about the stuff until lunch time. I couldn’t even eat my sandwich. It is HORRIBLE. Beyond horrible. Just disgusting. GROSSGROSSGROSS. It would totally put an end to thumbsucking, but it might make your kid hate you.

It’s still on there today and is causing me problems. I’m surprised at how much my eating depends on my thumb.

I think it is time to stop nursing, just to save myself some embarrassment. Elsa has taken to walking around with her shirt lifted up, yelling out “boobie boobie boobie.” She really likes B words.

*I get an e-mail from Costco every once in a while. I usually don’t read it, but this time I couldn’t stop myself. They have a diamond for sale. One, single, big diamond ring. One million dollars.

I have to wonder, if you can afford a million dollar diamond ring, are you really going to be shopping for it at Costco, of all places?

Though I suppose there are those secret millionaires who like to live frugally. But would they blow a million on a diamond ring?

*I got to hold a sweet newborn baby today. He let me hold him a long time, but I finally had to put him down after Elsa got jealous. I’ve been friends with the mom for close to six years, so it was really fun to see that he looked almost exactly like her little girl. I love that I’ve had a friend long enough to establish that sort of history. I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense to people who have a lot of long term friends, but I’ve never been the long term friend sort of person because I was painfully shy as a child and then I moved around a lot as an adult.

*My friend wanted her sewing machine back. I loved that machine. I over-extended my borrowing of it because it was so delightful to sew on. I was dumb and didn’t get my cranky machine into a repair shop while I had her machine, so now I’ve got a dead machine. Bah. I need to get it fixed, pronto. I have two blocks left in The Project of Doom so I was thinking I would be able to get my top complete in time to enter it into the final challenge. The final challenge: complete your top by Sept. 26. Everyone who finishes will be entered into a raffle and the winner will have a professional machine quilt their top. Whoo-hoo! That’s a prize well worth fighting for!

So.

Gotta make a few calls tomorrow and get my machine repaired, pronto.

*Elsa is such a funny baby. Remember how Erik used to scream and scream and SCREAM and scream and then scream some more when it was bedtime? Or maybe you don’t remember since you weren’t here to experience the trauma.

Elsa likes sleep. When she’s ready to go to sleep, she’ll drag you over to a chair and climb up on your lap in sleeping position. Mike’s been putting her to sleep in his computer chair while listening to ’80s music, so tonight she took Mike to his chair and pointed at the computer until he started up the music. It’s nice to have a kid who will sleep. If only she would sleep in her crib, we’d be on to something.

*I need to learn about kosher cooking, stat. I think I may have invited a kosher keeping couple to dine with us. I know the no pork rule, of course. I also have heard that they can’t have dairy and meat together. This rule baffles me and I don’t think I would be able to execute it. Does it mean that they can’t have dairy and meat together in the same meal? Like you couldn’t even have ranch dressing on your salad if you had some sort of meat as a main dish? Or you just can’t have it in the same dish? Or the same day? Like, what if you had a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch and then a big steak for dinner? But I guess a steak would have to come from a cow that was blessed by a rabbi? So vegetarian is just easier? But I don’t know how to cook a vegetarian meal. We likes our meat, we do. Also, what about all the kosher stuff at the grocery store? I don’t even know what any of it is.

Obviously I am completely clueless. What did I get myself into?

*Erik went to an impromptu birthday party tonight. Around 6 he came in with a boy, Jay, and said he was going to a birthday party for Jay’s little sister. I quizzed Jay about the party and was told it started at 5. So had it already started? No. Ooooookay.

We didn’t have an invitation or a present or anything, but we let Erik go anyway. I thought they were making it up because they kept coming back to the house and asking about going to the party. I kept asking “So is the party happening now?”

Finally the cake arrived around 7:30 pm. I went to drag Erik home at 8:30 and they still hadn’t cut the cake. I told the mom he had to be home by 9 pm, and he walked in the door at 9:02 so I guess that’s something.

What a disaster. Sounds like something my sister would do, doesn’t it? No surprise it was all happening at the low-income house. It’s basically like having my sister down the street, only less emotional involvement from me and no one ever asks me for money.

I’ll buy the little girl a present tomorrow. Jay and the girl are really sweet kids and they try so hard to be good. They have no direction and no clue, but I like them anyway. She deserves a birthday gift.

Their behavior improved 110% once they started school, though they still have issues with boundaries. My heart breaks when I think about what the future holds for them. I’m glad that their mom seems to be able to hold it together enough to keep living in our neighborhood. Even though I don’t exactly like the family living there because of the adults’ behavior, I think it is great that the kids are able to live here and have a neighborhood full of mostly responsible parents to watch out for them and try to teach them that there is more out there than what their mom has settled for. Maybe they’ll have a shot at a good life after all.

*I’m all caught up on “Torchwood: Miracle Day.” I don’t understand it at all. I hate when a series has promise, but then it just totally falls apart. It has some fun parts, but the plot just makes my brain hurt. I need a Television Without Pity forum to entertain me. The TWOP forum was the only thing that made “Falling Skies” worth watching.

If you remember awhile back, we let Erik take an old fan and have his way with it. He spent many, many minutes taking that thing apart. He says he collects technology so he can build a car and a robot.

I mentioned the fan and technology on my FB page and a semi-local friend offered up an old computer for the boy. Since she is semi-local, it took some time to find a time to get together, but today was the day! I really needed a day away from the kids after having them on my own for almost two straight days. Mike needs a day off too, but I guess today was my day. I was really proud of Mike–he actually took the kids out to lunch by himself. They went to a buffet, so that always helps since it eliminates wait time. I guess it went well.

But back to my fun day! We entered our two towns in Google so we could find a good half-way point. We were both surprised when Frederick, MD came up as our best option. And it was exactly half-way. It took me 35 minutes and it took her 36 minutes plus a few extra minutes for a farm equipment induced traffic jam.

I printed out some touristy information since I wasn’t exactly sure what was on offer and we enjoyed several hours of exploring. Its a cute little downtown area with some world class restaurants. We skipped Volt, a restaurant owned by a “Top Chef” competitor because of the price. And honestly? I don’t think I can go to a top quality restaurant. I took a look at the menu and couldn’t find a single thing I would want to try. I am not adventurous enough. I don’t like seafood or mushrooms, so that takes out a lot of the gourmet options.

We had a great lunch and a fun time going into weird little shops. I bought a new fair trade silk bag! So pretty! I’ll have to post a pic when I find my camera battery charger. We also bought some fancy-pants chocolates and some ice cream. Yummmmmmm. . .

The chocolate store was very small and there were a couple of other people in there. I wasn’t really paying attention because I was looking at all the chocolate, but apparently the employee was cursing on the phone. I don’t think it must have been the f-bomb or anything to terrible, but when he hung up the phone the other customer, an older lady, scolded him and told him to watch his language. I thought that was pretty bold.

We had our eye on the sky the whole time, and sure enough–a big thunderstorm started as we were walking back to our car. We were about four blocks away on a creek bank, so we were able to take shelter under a bridge. There was a bicycle rickshaw driver who offered us a ride (I’m sure it would have cost dearly) to our cars, but we chose to stand around and wait. Amazingly enough the storm passed only after a few minutes.

When I got home and presented Erik with his new technology he was over the moon. He literally spent four hours unscrewing everything and taking it apart. Towards the end he came down and told me that Mike and I needed to wrestle.

Ummmm.

Whaaaaa?

Ohhhhhh. . .we should wrestle to see who is stronger. He needs a strong person to help him remove a few stubborn screws. Ahhhhhhh. .. .

It all makes sense in the mind of a five year old.

Anyway. . .

I thought I was going to like “Torchwood: Miracle Day” but now I’m just confused. It had a lot of promise, but it really makes no sense. Suddenly they have a pedophile and murderer as some kind of media darling. Do they really think the people would flock to him? I think not. They are doing a lot of telling about what would happen to society, but very little showing. It makes no sense and most of the characters are not very likeable. I’ll probably finish out the series and will even enjoy parts of it, but I will give up on trying to make any sense of the whole political scene.

Mike got home at 10:30 pm tonight. His work is in midst of a huge jumbo giant project and he is a big part of that huge jumbo giant project. I am not at all thrilled with how this is effecting my life. When will this huge jumbo giant project pay for my nanny? I do ok until about 4:30, and then the cranky bug hits and I need someone to do something. Like take my children away.

I actually did pretty good today and didn’t get cranky until 7.

Which still left me with over 2 hours of cranky time. Lucky kids.

I think Elsa is sick again.

Shock.

She felt like she was on fire, but maybe she was just hot. I don’t know. I don’t like sticking a thermometer up her butt unless the situation gets serious. She was so sleepy that she fell asleep in her high chair, so something was up.

Erik is invited to a playdate tomorrow and I’m not sure what to do. The mom said he can stay for an hour, which is fine. Except it literally takes 30-35 minutes to drive out to their place. I guess I will just take Elsa to a park out near there for a little while and then go pick him up.

I find the timing weird, but I know the last time she had Erik over for a playdate she was a little overwhelmed. She normally has a nanny most of the time so she is not used to dealing with playdates. She let them play the Wii the whole time and they were totally fighting over that I guess. I guess I am a mean mommy because I don’t let kids watch TV or play video games when we have a playdate over here. I suppose I can only hold fast to that rule for a couple of more years, but for the moment it works.

Oh! I was going to tell you extreme couponer types that you should be jealous. I have arranged to have an extreme couponing star speak at a MOMS Club event.

Well. Not really. I mean, she is speaking, but I didn’t arrange it. I sent out an e-mail asking our members if they knew of any extreme couponers and one lady knew a lady who knew a lady who had been on that TLC show.

So there you go. I am six degrees from fame.

I thought I was going to cause a ruckus on my MOMS Club e-mail group this morning but I’m glad it didn’t come to pass. I’m trying to find out about Campfire Boys and Girls in this area and have initiated contact with the people in a nearby suburb. I’m supposed to be finding guest speakers for MOMS Club, so asked our group if anyone would be interested in hearing more about Campfire. One lady wanted to know the difference between Campfire and Boy Scouts of America, so I really had to be very careful in my answer since she is planning on having her son take part in BSA.

I just said that our family was not comfortable with all their policies so we were looking for something that didn’t have any ties to religion. I was waiting for the screams of agony, but they never came. Thank goodness. I think 99% of the people in my club would not bat an eye at that statement, but I could see a couple of people pushing for further explanations.

Just in case you are not aware, Boy Scouts of America does not allow atheists or homosexuals. I’m an atheist who fully supports gay rights so it is obviously not a good fit. Erik is obsessed with the idea of scouting thanks to Isabelle and the Fireside Girls*. I don’t really want to commit him to anything, but I figured I would at least look into it. It would be so easy to stick him in Boy Scouts, but those pesky values get in my way and I can’t imagine knowingly involving my child in an organization that openly discriminates against people based on their religion or sexuality. I will not support them with $$$ or in any other way. Of course they are perfectly within their rights as a private organization to be as discriminatory as they please, and I am perfectly within my rights to find another option. I’m sure there are various levels of tolerance in each troop, but I’m not willing to find out.

*Phineas and Ferb characters, for those not in the know. And if you don’t like Phineas and Ferb you are missing out. We let Erik stay up to watch the movie the other day because we wanted to see it ourselves. It’s nice to have a show we can all watch together, while laughing our asses off.

I’ve had people ask on both LJ and my regular blog about the whole Mary Kay and praying to a dead woman, thing. I have to admit I never saw that happen in the meetings I went to. I was obsessed with reading The Pink Truth after I realized it was a total scam and saw lots of mentions of prayers to Mary Kay Ash on that site. I believe it. The meetings are bizarre. The ones I went to were almost exactly like a church service, complete with testimonials and an altar call. Only difference: they were worshiping the pink dollar.

I get sick just thinking about how easily they scammed me. I am glad to say I was only in it a few weeks before I realized I had been completely suckered. Hook. Line. Sinker.

I just didn’t understand that people are liars. I mean, yes, people lie. But to your face? Bald faced lies that they KNOW you are going to figure out as soon as you go to meetings? Ugh.

My upline kept telling me it was not about recruiting, it was my own business, I would be fully trained, and so forth. Every single one of those things was a lie. Bald. Faced. Lie. There is no training, it is only about recruiting, and they controlled almost every aspect by trying to guilt me into all kinds of things. I suppose I’m lucky I’m cynical because when they tried to get me to order $2,400 worth of products so I could get a pink blender, I told them I could buy a blender in a color I really liked for less than $50.

For a summation of my experience, you can read HERE. If you want more, I do have some entries I can point you to, but I am pretty embarrassed by them. They are all in July-September of 2006.

Wasn’t that a fun time in my life? Undiagnosed postpartum depression/sleep deprivation will make you do strange things.

I haven’t completely weaned Elsa, but she is getting a lot less opportunity to nurse these days. Instead, I offer her real food or a teether and she usually takes it. She’s been putting her hands in her mouth and crying for the last few days, so today I dared to stick my fingers in her mouth and found that she has at least three of her molars in. I couldn’t keep my fingers in there long because I was afraid she would chomp me. You should see the bruises on my arms and chest from her new favorite activity.

I sent Erik to Bounce-U camp today. I bought vouchers off one of those deal a day sites a few weeks back, so now he is able to go to camp once a week until school starts. Five hours of childcare for $20. Not a bad deal at all.

I thought it would be a great day for him because two of his little buddies were also there, including his little pea in a pod buddy that he adores so much.

They may not look much alike, but I swear they are soul twins. And see the girl? They fight over who is going to marry her. Erik thinks they should have a karate fight to determine who gets to marry her. She is not at all sure she wants to marry one of them. Erik has it all planned out down to the name of their first child. He even had me put away one of Elsa’s dresses (he picked it out for her) to save for baby Olivia. It’s quite cute (and scary).

Unfortunately a kid that Erik knows from other places was there and decided to bully him. Erik is pretty good at speaking up and taking care of himself, so it wasn’t horrible I guess. The child spent most of the time in time out and I heard the staff tell the mom that he wasn’t welcome back at camp. I’m just pissed that Erik had to put up with being physically accosted at all. It sounds like the staff took care of it and couldn’t have done anything else, except maybe call the mom and have them come get the kid. Maybe that’s what they should have done. How many chances should a kid get when he is pushing other kids around?

Oh well. It’s coming up on midnight so I better wrap this up.

I’m a bad neighbor.

We have a very friendly neighborhood and I talk to anyone who is out and about. It’s really nice to recognize people and know that if something were to happen you could possibly knock on their door or something. One guy even pushed my car up the hill during the big storm a few years ago.

Anyway, one of Erik’s little friends has a mom. Obviously. I believe all his little friends have moms. They had to come from somewhere.

But this mom: I talk to her sometimes, but can’t really understand her. She talks really, really, really fast and has a strong accent because she’s from the Philippines. Also, she is just kind of crazy in an ADHD kind of way, so I can’t follow her thought process.

She came running out tonight, telling me she had something for me.

Turns out she’s selling Mary Kay now, and had a catalog for me.

Long time Queen of Ramble readers, you can see where this is headed.

This is when I became the bad neighbor. I told her I’d sold Mary Kay and they would never get another dime of my money because they are a big scam. I also told her she could sell back her stuff for 90% of what she paid if she ever needed to do that.

She got pretty defensive (of course) and told me how great it was and how she was already making money and all her friends wanted to sell with her (aside: how the hell are you ever supposed to make money if you are supposed to talk all your customers into selling?).

I wouldn’t take a catalog. I tried to make a joke of it, but I think she was pretty offended. Bad neighbor.

I suppose I could have taken the easy road and just taken the danged catalog, but you know me. I get my panties in a twist and can’t go against my own values. And my values tell me that Mary Kay is a big ol’ scam that steals money from innocent women while trying to tell them that they are supporting women. Also, they pray to a dead woman but also claim they are a Christian company. I simply can’t comprehend how the women who are into church and Christiany stuff can sit there and listen to them pray to a dead woman and think that’s a good idea. Why are they not running for the hills? Because God and Mary Kay Ash want them to be rich?

I view my refusal to partake as a favor to the consultant. It gives them a taste of the negativity that many people feel, but few ever share. The sooner they hear the negative, the better. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I had to go to her house later to get Erik for dinner and she said something about kindergarten. She is pissed that they separate the kids into reading groups based on reading skills. All I could gather is that her son doesn’t know how to read so it is unfair for him to be put into a lower group. I tried to explain that the groups are actually good things because the kids will be getting reading instruction on their level, but my words didn’t matter. A pissed off mama is going to be a pissed off mama. She’s really angry that some people have taught their kids to read before school starts and doesn’t understand why anyone would do that.

Well. . .

We live in a highly competitive area with highly educated families. We are actually pretty low-key about academic achievement in our household, yet Erik can still do some basic reading. Ten years ago he would be entering first grade instead of kindergarten this year.

I know families who send their preschoolers to summer school so they have an academic edge. I wouldn’t do that, but this lady didn’t send her kid to any sort of preschool. He was her baby and no way was she sending her baby away from her.

And now he can’t read and she’s pissed that other kids can read.

Does any of this make any sense? Because it makes no sense to me.

Also, I needed to explain why the teachers send home Teacher Wish Lists along with regular school supply lists. I like that our district calls them wish lists so it feels more like a donation than a requirement. I know not all families can afford everything on the list, especially families that have several children in the school. But I also know people who get their backs up and say they aren’t buying anything for the teachers. Ummmmm. Those items are not for the teachers. Those items are for the students, your child included. Most school districts used to supply many of the items on the lists, but as budgets are cut further and further, teachers are left with fewer and fewer supplies. People without children often vote down any additional funding for schools. This leaves the burden on the teachers and parents. Teachers don’t make much money, yet they pour their heart and souls and often their pocketbooks into their classrooms and students. If you can afford to buy the wish list items, you should do so gladly. They are for your child. They are used to enhance your child’s education (or just give your child a chance to blow his nose in a tissue instead of his sleeve).

I guess Elsa is teething. I thought we were over the biting thing, but no. She walks up and bites my arm, my chest, Erik’s arm, whatever she can get her teeth on. She just bit my nipple again and wouldn’t release it, much like a pitbull.

I am done.

She can have warmed up cows milk. She is not getting anything straight from the source anymore. The pain is too much to bear.

Now, can I bear all the crying and begging and lifting of my shirt that is bound to happen? I know plenty of 16 month olds that are no longer nursed. They all seem to survive just fine.

I just don’t know what to do with a crying baby, other than sticking my boob in its face.

Today is not the day to mess with me, though. I am way too hormonal and have no patience at all. Not only is Elsa acting like a mini-vampire, her brother just can’t keep his body off me. Why, why, WHY does he have to be ON TOP of me every waking minute of the day? We talk about my bubble space. I swat him away. He just does not care and he’s so danged boney. ARGH!

I’m so fun today.

We got another big kindergarten packet yesterday. I can’t believe he’s starting kindergarten! When I was a sub I wanted nothing to do with kindergarten. They were so small, helpless and wiggly. Yet he seems so big and mature. Yet still helpless about some things. I suppose I should teach him to tie a bow some day.

We went to a birthday party for our neighbor girl yesterday and Erik was the only boy. What a difference between boys and girls. Poor Erik was really out of his element with all these girls that didn’t want to run and jump and shoot things. I met a couple of really fun ladies. I was excited because I was going to invite one to join my MOMS Club, but then I found out she works full time. She was mad that MOMS Club is just for stay-at-home moms, but that’s just the way it is. The club can’t be everything to all people. In general, stay-at-home moms don’t want to hang out doing kid stuff on the weekends. For most people I know, those are family days and freedom days. Work day week days are the days we need support from other moms and activities for our children.

I am just glad they are done resealing our road. They had it closed off for over 24 hours, which was a major pain. The kids loved it, though. After all the work was done and the cars were all gone, they had a whole big area to ride their bikes and scooters. It was kind of spooky looking to see such emptiness, but it did make for a lot of neighborly meetings. Everyone had to park far away and walk up the hill to their houses.

Our first parking spot was across a major road and we almost died. I had a big bag of swimming stuff attached on a stroller hook. The hook broke while we were in middle of the road. I managed to get the bag, the stroller and Erik back onto the median of the road, but it gave me a heart attack. Erik FREAKED out about the stupid hook and darted back into the road to save it. My god. I about died. Thankfully the only truck coming saw what was going on, came to a complete stop, and waved us through. I was about to kill the boy for almost getting himself killed. The whole walk up to the car, he was freaking out about the stupid hook. I guess he was fixated. Nice that he wanted to keep it, I guess, but it was just not a good scene.

Later, I decided I was never walking across that road again so I got lucky and found a visitor spot on the road below us. Still a horrible, hilly walk but at least there was less chance of death.

As I was poking around, trying to find a short-cut to our place an older lady came out of her house and started telling me what beautiful children I have. Then she said she was an artist and wanted to take pictures of them so she could draw them. We went to her house (why yes, I am just stupid and will end up the victim of a serial killer) and she got her camera and some bubbles. I blew bubbles and she took pictures of them out in the sun, so it will be interesting to see what she comes up with. She showed me several of her drawings and they were really good. She says she used to be a high school art teacher.

So that was that and now I am going to go do something even more interesting: watch more “Torchwood: Miracle Day.” I’ve only seen a couple of Dr. Who episodes and they were pretty cheesy so I didn’t add it to my roster. I’m really liking this series, though, so may go back and watch the rest of “Torchwood” since it is on Netflix streaming. Maybe I’ll become a “Dr. Who” fan after all.

Heh. The one time I decided I was going to watch “Torchwood” a couple of years ago, I somehow got confused and ended up watching “Being Human.” I’m really glad because the UK version is awesome.

I finally figured out why I can’t find my blog via ftp. I did a simple WordPress install when I was setting up the blog instead of a custom install. If you install it with the simple option you will not have access to FTP.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

How does that even make sense?

So now what? Ugh. Guess I just deal with the ugly for now.

At least I’m not totally stupid. I was becoming more and more frantic about the state of my brain. It should be so simple. But not if they make it so simple that a simpleton can’t do it.