The Queen's Rambles

*I finally have my sewing machine back! The repairman is only in the store on Mondays, so I called yesterday to find out what was going on. The woman who answered couldn’t believe it had been so long. She went back to look and said it was all done.

I drove down there at a really stupid time (just on the cusp of rush hour) and was hoping for a quick in and out. She came out with my machine, but couldn’t find the pay slip. She called the repairman over and he said “Oh! No, no. It’s not done. Why’d you think it was done? The part’s been backordered, but luckily it just came in today! I’ll get it fixed right now.”

Hmmmmm. . . did UPS run on Columbus Day, because I know the post office was closed.

The important thing is he did fix it and he did educate me. Did you know there are different bobbin sizes? I had no clue. I’ve been using the wrong size for the past 7 years. I suppose if I only have to repair the machine every 7 years it’s not that horrible of an ordeal.

While I was there I bought some embroidery supplies and am thinking about trying my hand at some book titles for my Harry Potter bookshelf. My original plan was to forget about the titles entirely since I didn’t think I had the skill or time to complete them before the finishing contest was over. Now that the contest is off the table I have all the time in the world. I may as well try it out and see if I can do it. It’s a big project and has taken many, many hours. I don’t want to regret not giving it a try every time I look at it.

*I’m not longer planning on doing a traditional dirt cake for Erik. I realized that he hates pudding. A friend sent me a link to an awesome dirt cake that is just regular cake, frosted with a deep chocolate icing and then covered in crushed chocolate graham cracker crumbs. I’ll be working on that Friday. I have way too much to do Friday! I wish I could do it tomorrow, but I don’t want to take a four day old cake to a party.

*Elsa is such a goofy girl. She likes to crawl up behind me on my big chair, then fling herself forward, doing a somersault in the air. It’s scary enough when you know she’s going to do it, but she’d done it a couple of times when I wasn’t prepared. Catching a 30 pound weight that is suddenly flying over your shoulder is nothing to joke about. And she’s so tall! I can barely handle her when she wants to flip around or stand on me. We went to a story hour today and she towers over the other kids her age. I need to get some pictures uploaded, don’t I? She’s absolutely adorable, make no mistake.

*We went to parent visitation at Erik’s school yesterday. There were a total of three parents in Erik’s class–me, Mike and one other dad. Apparently the other dad is there every day and just sits in the corner and reads a newspaper (which we saw him do). I know from past social things that the boy has serious problems, but I still find it odd that the stay-at-home-dad would come to class and just sit around. I could understand him coming in to volunteer or coming in to observe a few times, but Erik says he is there every day. We know he is not the most reliable witness. I want to ask the teacher about it, but it’s not really my business.

*Erik wants to take green cupcakes to school for his birthday. I went in to Safeway to order them, just like I did last year. They always have cupcakes out, but he doesn’t want Halloween cupcakes–he wants green. The lady had no freakin’ clue what I was talking about. Then she told me a whole bunch of stuff in very, very heavily accented English. I literally had no clue what she was saying. I very, very rarely point out that I can’t understand something if someone from a different country is talking to me. I try to make due. I lived in a foreign country and know how difficult it can be to move to a new land and not speak the language.

I had to tell her that I didn’t understand anything she said. I didn’t know if she was trying to take my order or telling me no or asking me what day I was picking things up. It was terrible.

In the end I think she told me I had to come back when a manager was on duty because you can’t order cupcakes. I will be there tomorrow. Can’t order cupcakes from a bakery? Excuse me, but WTF?

*I think Campfire is happening! Bethany is joining us! Will be interesting to see the collision between blog world and real world. Ha! We are just waiting to have the main lady answer some questions, then we will send in our forms and hopefully get started quickly. Erik is trying to recruit the whole neighborhood, but I am definitely not talking about it with people that I wouldn’t want to work with. No way am I inviting the crazies in.

*Way past my bedtime. I need to get some sleep. I’m perpetually tired, so why do I stay up so late? Bad Carrie

October is my favorite month of the year. I love the cooler weather, the pumpkin patches, the cutesy Halloween decorations, the birthday party planning, Halloween–everything! I’m so glad it stopped raining and we can go outside and enjoy gorgeous weather.

I think I have things under control for Erik’s party. It’s at a nature center and they are taking care of most of the program. I just have to take care of the food and favors. They have an indoor area with tunnels, so the kids are getting a little flashlight, a couple of plastic frog things and a ring pop. Erik is obsessed with ring pops. Doesn’t sound like much, I guess, but I can’t ever bring myself to hand out a bag of crap that will be thrown out and forgotten within minutes. It’s not financially or environmentally responsible.

Erik wants a dirt cake with lots of gummy worms, snakes, spiders and lizards. I’ve got gummy worms and plastic snakes and spiders. Haven’t been able to find lizards, so I guess he’ll just have to deal. I found some beach buckets at the party store this afternoon, so I’ll make two giant dirt cakes and serve them with the toy shovels that came with the buckets. It’s just weird to have such a deep, narrow opening for a cake and to scoop out the dessert. Who cares, though, right? It’s not a real cake.

I was thinking that the adults wouldn’t want to eat it, but after I looked up several recipes I realized it is basically just “Better than Robert Redford” cake with crushed oreos and no bottom crust. I don’t know a better name for it, but it’s delicious. For the BtRR cake, you bake a sweet crust with some pecans, then you layer cream cheese/powdered sugar mixture with chocolate pudding. You also mix cool whip in there, but I can’t remember if you mix it with the cream cheese layer or the pudding. Goooooood stuff.

Except I no longer eat artificial stuff, so the thought of instant pudding and cool whip makes me gag. Maybe I’ll make real pudding and real whipped cream. Do I really have time to make two buckets full of real pudding?

I also read a few suggestions to make cake cubes to add to the thing, kind of like a trifle. Sounds like a plan to me. It will add a lot of volume so I don’t just have giant buckets of pudding. I’m anticipating about 35 people, counting adults. Insane, I know, but it was really difficult to cut down the guest list now that he’s in school with all the neighborhood kids. Thankfully his birthday is early in the school year so he doesn’t have a big connection to any of his school friends, except the ones that live in the neighborhood.

Of course, October is also big because of Halloween, my very favorite holiday. He’s decided he wants to be Draco Malfoy for Halloween. Or a fireman. Or Harry Potter. I’m pushing for Draco, just because I think it’s funny that he often wants to be the bad guy.

Except sometimes its not so funny and I worry. But there are lots of people who like an anti-hero, right? I’ve never been one of them. I’ve never liked bad boys, either. Never understood the love there. I like stability. I like to be treated well. I like people who will do the right thing. Maybe because I’ve seen what the bad boy becomes when he grows up. Believe me, it ain’t pretty.

If only my sewing machine was ready, I could force Erik to commit to something so I could start sewing. I was at the Party Store today and ain’t no way this mama is going to spend the money on a HP costume when each accessory costs at least $10.

You know what I hate? Parenting communities that refer to mothers as “mama.” Makes me gag.

Anyway, if my sewing machine is not ready tomorrow I am seriously considering going out and buying a new one from a place with a very liberal return policy. I know it’s not right, but I have things to sew! And very little time to sew them!

Did I ever post about the Harry Potter quilt I’m making? I know I posted early on, but not sure if I posted the latest. The project has 30 blocks and I completed 28 of them before my friend wanted her sewing machine back. You can see my blocks HERE.

I was really excited because I thought I would finish in time to be in the running for the Harry Potter Paper Piecing’s contest for getting the top quilted, but alas. No joy for me. Ofenjen has created such a wonderful community amongst Harry Potter quilters that I shouldn’t say no joy. The whole project has been a joy, which is why I’m eager to finish. I must admit, I am glad I am getting to see a few finished quilt tops before I go to put mine together. Some of the completed tops have gone beyond a basic finish and look like real bookcases. I want to do something similar, so it’s nice to see what others are doing.

They’re having a school visitation day tomorrow, so that should be enlightening. It says we are able to observe in the classroom but that the instructional day will continue as always and we are not supposed to disrupt things. Shall be interesting to see how that plays out in a kindergarten classroom. I’m looking forward to getting a look at what’s happening since Erik won’t tell me anything. Mike doesn’t work tomorrow, so we’ll both get to go. Mom can take care of Elsa, hopefully. She’s been watching her for me here and there, but on Friday Elsa was PISSED. She wouldn’t go to her, look at her, or have anything to do with her. I guess she was tired of mommy leaving. Today she went up and held mom’s hand, so maybe she’ll let us go without too much howling tomorrow.

Ok, gotta end this and go to bed. I’m going to be very sorry I stayed up so late in about seven hours.

I’ve been running around like a chicken with my head cut off these past few days. My mom is here, so it feels rude to sit at the computer and stare at the screen instead of engaging my guest in a conversation. I get little enough computer time since I try to engage with my children on a regular basis, but now my little break times are social hour. Plus, I’ve been working my little buns off, trying to get my MOMS Club stuff taken care of. No time to write when I’m selecting just the right font to announce our Halloween Party. Chiller was the obvious choice, of course.

So that’s where I’ve been. I’m sure I’m at least three days behind in my journal reading.

What’s all the news that’s fit to print?

I have solved my Erik dilemma! He is a picky eater. I’ve been packing his lunch and he has not been eating it. He eats the yogurt, possibly the string cheese and maybe a couple of pretzels. Forget about the sandwich, the fruit or the veggies. They are completely untouched. Then he comes home and is a complete demon child because he’s hungry, but he won’t eat because he’s hungry.

Children are not logical.

I kept meaning to buy a wide mouthed thermos, but could never remember when I was at Target. I try to limit my Target time to save money. Instead, I spend all my money online.

Hmmmm. .. . why didn’t I just order one online? Instead, I bought a totally overpriced one at the grocery store.

Overpriced or not, it is worth every single penny. We’ve had it two days and they have been the best two days of the school year. I sent in whole wheat pasta with a butter sauce and diced up chicken. He ate every bite and said he wasn’t hungry at school anymore. WIN!

Now I feel guilty for not doing it sooner, but I’m trying to let the guilt go. Guilt is not productive if it is about something that can’t be changed.

I just hope the good eating continues so I can have my nice little boy back and we can have pleasant afternoons, especially since we’ve received the October homework packet and we have a shitload of cooperative work to do each evening. Yes, I said cooperative work. The homework is not at all what I expected. It is meant to be done together with parent and child. I don’t know how two working parents in a family with more than one kid ever manage to get through it.

Some of the homework is fun, like going on a nature walk and looking at the leaves or counting the pumpkins and jack-o-lanterns on the porches (we’re saving that one for a few weeks), or hiding ten paper pumpkins through the house for him to find (and describe their locations using positional words). Others will be like pulling teeth (writing his name 10 times, listing 10 items in his classroom). Some are just going to be a down right pain in the ass. He has several “cut various things out of a magazine and glue them in your notebook” type things. He was planning on using his homework notebook to write all the numbers up to a googol. He’s at 84 right now. He is NOT happy that he is supposed to use it for other things, even though I bought him a special notebook just for his number writing project.

THEN. . . I have to write several sentences about his learning style and our homework experiences together.

So who cares? I can write five sentences. It won’t be a burden at all. It just strikes me as so strange that a parent has homework of that type in a kindergarten class.

Honestly, though, I was dreading a bunch of crappy busy-work worksheets and was determined that I wasn’t going to stress about that kind of thing. We have a list of 25 homework items and we are supposed to do 16 of them. I thought they were all good, solid assignments with very clear objectives. Not that I am going to enjoy forcing him to do all of them, but I can see the value in them. I hope his homework continues to be meaningful as his school career progresses.

Subject Change 1:
I got a haircut this afternoon. Much, much needed. I’m always so lazy about keeping up with haircuts, and feel yucky and self-loathing for weeks when my hair starts to drag down. I decided to be proactive and scheduled my next cut in six weeks. Hopefully my hairstylist will be back. She’s going to Iran for a month. Her whole family is there so I’m sure she’ll be safe. I am a product of the West. I hear the word Iran and freak out. I would be terrified.

Subject Change 2:
I am very, very excited about the possibility of starting a Campfire USA club with some friends. I contacted them a few months ago and arranged for a speaker to come to our MOMS Club meeting on Wednesday. Erik is desperate to be a scout but I absolutely will not allow him to join Boy Scouts. Their homophobia and religious intolerance make me ill. I will not put my son in a club that teaches such things.

I didn’t know anything about Campfire except they are inclusive, but I’ve learned! It is a very different model from Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts. Instead of a troop leader and a drop-off situation, you gather together a group of friendly families (you can also take in strangers if you want and if there are any that the regional director knows about) and basically form a co-op. All the parents are trained in the program. You make the club fit your needs. There is a very detailed curriculum, but you can adjust it to fit your needs. The main driving force is simply “Give Service.”

The children earn emblems (aka badges) for completing different activities. One very key factor in all this is that it is very much child driven, so they get to pick the badges they want to work on. In the early ages everything is parent led, but by the time the kids are in third grade the kids are given a lot more responsibility for club planning and programming. By the time they reach high school the clubs are run by the kids, for the kids. They have an adult mentor to make sure things are going well and to facilitate things that an adult needs to take care of, but the organization really encourages independence and leadership.

I wasn’t expecting to be so excited about this idea, but I really am. I am also excited because it won’t be a weekly commitment. Each club decides how often they want to meet. It sounds like my friends and I are up for a once a month type of thing.

I didn’t know if we’d be able to get enough interest, but I think I already have enough people to get it started. They recommend having 6-12 children involved. I think I have 10 ready to commit, but four of those are from a military family that will be moving in May. That would still leave us with six and we could always welcome more later.

Just what I need, right? More on my plate. But it’s a co-op! I wouldn’t be in charge. We would all work together.

And long time readers are all shaking your heads and telling me, “remember the co-op preschool?” aren’t you? I do remember it, and I would never commit to another weekly thing like that. Monthly, though, I could handle. I know two of the interested families really well (one was in the co-op with us) and I truly believe we would work well together. One was the president of my MOMS Club last year so I know I can work with her. We have the same communication style and many similar beliefs (as far as parenting and running a club go). When we disagree we are able to do so as adults and talk things through.

Basically it boils down to this: I am insane. I think I am wonder woman. I like to keep busy. I don’t know my own limits.

But it will be fun! It will work! It comes with a complete curriculum!

Also, I really like that it is co-ed so you don’t have to run your boys and girls all over town in opposite directions. And even having kids of different ages doesn’t matter. The different programs have similar activities for each age range so you can just pick similar activities that require the same basic supplies and have the same basic underlying concepts. Example: little kids might just plant seeds in cups, while bigger kids would plant a container garden. Since there should be at least one parent there from each family it is easy to handle some differentiation–there are plenty of adults to deal with different groups of kids.

The only negative: there is an outdoor component. We all know how much I love the outdoors. Each club can make the outdoor component as big or small as they want, so I’m hoping our club won’t want me to go sleep out in a sleeping bag in the woods. Mike can take Erik and I can stay home with Elsa, right?

The region (or council, I think it’s called) does do some family camps and other camps. I’m hoping those are hosted at facilities with cabins and indoor plumbing.

Anyway, I am totally exhausted so don’t know what I’m doing up writing this entry about Campfire. I meant to write it about something else entirely, but now I don’t remember what. My brain is a sieve, but we’ve already determined that several times, haven’t we?

My mom is here! Her plane was supposed to arrive at a very decent hour yesterday (5:38 pm) so we planned on taking the whole family. Things kept getting delayed and delayed, but we still thought the whole family could handle it.

We didn’t know that her plane wouldn’t have a jetway, so even though the plane arrived no one was getting off the plane. She told her seat mate that she wanted to pull the emergency exit open and go down the slide and he freaked and told her she would be arrested. Turns out he was a pilot for the airline and had no sense of humor at all. She was not arrested. Nor did she go down the slide. As if she would really do that.

It was a very happy reunion between Erik and his Grandma. Even Elsa surprised us after we got home and seemed to remember her. She even let her kiss her and wrestle around with her. I was shocked.

I decided to sit next to Elsa on the ride home, thinking it would keep her from screaming. Sometimes if we have a stranger in the car she’ll scream bloody murder.

That didn’t work at all since she wanted to nurse and there was no way to nurse her. I used to nurse Erik in the car all the time, but we had a bench seat in the back of the Saturn. I may have big boobs, but they aren’t big enough to cross the divide between the van’s captains seats.

Thankfully she only screamed for 15 minutes. Erik would have been screaming the whole 45 minutes. She finally stopped screaming, scrunched up her face in anger and closed her eyes.

Such a funny, little angry baby. She wasn’t asleep, but she made it clear she was done with me. Guess you had to be there.

I am so glad my mom is here, but we will need to set some boundaries (as always). She judges people based on their appearance and is obsessed with weight–cracking on her own weight, putting people in categories for being too thin or too fat. Not acceptable in our household. Not at all.

She also brought a ton of pictures of my dad that she wanted us to look at. That was fine and I didn’t really think anything of them as I was looking at them. They are all pictures I’ve seen before, but my 5 year old was not raised with dead animals in his back yard. He’s never had to gut a duck or put his arms around a deer head. He’s never even seen a dead animal, other than as road kill or dinner. I’m not sure we should show him all these pictures.

Over half the pictures had a dead animals in them. Bloody bobcats, beheaded deer, skinned carcasses hanging from trees, piles of dead ducks.

I suppose we can show him one or two and see what his reaction is. So far my mom has only tried to show him the pictures while he was eating, but I stopped her because he had dirty hands and would ruin the pictures.

In good news, my mom is going to family counseling with my sister and my sister’s husband. Very, very good news! I hope they continue and that they take it to heart.

I was doing a search for buttercream frosting yesterday and came across an in-law board on BabyCenter. I got sucked in and couldn’t stop reading. Those people are crazy!

I thought I knew a lot of internet terms, but I had no idea what the hell they were talking about. Unicorns, JADEing, Flying Monkeys, cutting off, timing out, blacking holing, and a bunch of other stuff. I finally figured out that I’m a unicorn. A unicorn likes to give people the benefit of the doubt. I guess I wouldn’t give my family the benefit of the doubt if they did some of the stuff the posters are writing about (like teaching a kid to call the mommy “daddy’s whore”), but one lady was totally freaked out because her mother-in-law kissed her baby too close to the mouth and everyone was encouraging her to “put her in a T[ime]O[ut]”. They make fun of the concept of family and say that the only family that matters is you/your spouse/your children.

I suppose that is true in a certain level, but there is value in extended family. There is value in letting other people love your children even if they don’t do things exactly they way you want them to do it. There is value in variety and flexibility. Children need to learn how to get along with different people in different environments.

If you have demands that they are not used to (and some of these people have some pretty strange demands in my eyes–no one allowed to hold the baby except the parents? What? This was a healthy newborn.), you need to expect that they will probably be talking about you behind your back and think you are crazy. That’s part of the whole parenting thing. You make your decisions, you stick to them, you know not everyone will agree and you decide not to care. Otherwise you’ll go nuts.

Ok, so that sounds all tough and I know I wasn’t tough with my first child. I was fragile and hurt when people questioned what I did. I am glad I never, ever have to be a first time parent again. I’m more relaxed this time around, yet I am also more firm in my resolve about certain things. I know what’s important to me and my family and I truly don’t give a flying fig if other people agree or not. I am so much better at knowing when to fight and when to let things go. Not caring what other people think makes things much easier.

I guess I am just lucky that I don’t have to deal with too much crap since we live so far away from everyone. If I lived near either of our families I might need to put adults in a time out and use contact with my children as a leverage to make them behave in ways that I found acceptable.

Anyway, I need to stay away from that particular board because it’s a total black hole of drama. Once in, you’re never getting out.