The Queen's Rambles

I was quite content with the lack of a party for my birthday. I figured it was just par for the course. I’m old, I’m crotchety, I don’t like being the center of attention. No big 40th blow out for me. I would not have wanted a big party with black balloons and over-the-hill jokes. In fact, such a party would have infuriated me. I’m not a very good sport.

Though I admit the birthday was lacking a certain spark this year.

We planned to have dinner with friends this weekend to celebrate and I planned on bringing an Olive Garden copy-cat black tie mousse cake. I love chocolate, and it’s a chocolate bomb. I worked my ass off on this cake for two days!

Anyway, we go over to our friend’s house and around 3:30 Mike suggested we cut the cake and have it with our coffee. I found this extremely odd since we usually have dessert after dinner, but I was eager to cut into it. Mike is not the type to ever ask for sweets, but whatever. I don’t say no to chocolate.

Then just when it’s time to start cooking dinner, everyone starts laughing and telling me that we are not having dinner at home. Linds was taking me to an undisclosed location and the dads were going to stay home with the kids.

I had no idea where we were going or if I was appropriately dressed. I thought maybe we would go to a local restaurant or maybe even a play or show. We ended up taking the metro into DC in the pouring down rain (better to metro in than drive in the monster storm!) and I still had no idea where we were going.

We ended up at Co Co Sala, a chocolate lounge and boutique. So yummy! And so fancy! I told Mike about this place two years ago, but we never went. Somehow he remembered and arranged for my friend to take me down there as a girls’ night out–with him footing the bill!

When we got there someone called Linds and said she was running late, but I had no idea who it was. I told Linds that I could only think of three people that I’d like to walk in the door and she laughed and said “those were the three people on the guest list!” Only one of the other three could make it, so there were only three of us. It was still really fun and delicious.

I’ve never eaten a gourmet meal before, so I felt like I was on an episode of a cooking show. The foods were strange, but delicious. The portions were super tiny, but we didn’t want a huge meal since we were going to gorge on chocolate after the main course.

I got an artichoke tart and then finished off with super yummy chocolate stuff that I can’t even describe. I also got a cocktail called a Fetish–strawberries and chocolate infused vodka. It was really sweet and I’d have liked to have another, but I didn’t want to get drunk down in DC. In fact, can someone make me a Fetish right now? Man, that thing was good.

After dinner, we walked our friend to her car and got to see all kind of city things that we never see up here in the ‘burbs. Lots of young’uns lined up outside clubs, limos dropping parties off, hotel doormen blowing whistles at cabs. . . just the vibe of the city. Though there were lots of drunk people out, it didn’t feel particularly unsafe. I guess we must have been in a good area. It was mostly fancier looking people that were out and about.

We rode the metro home and were safely tucked into bed by midnight (which sounds lame I guess, but I was very happy with that. I like sleep.).

The whole evening was such a surprise! I had no idea Mike was planning something like that or that he even remembered me mentioning that restaurant. It was very nice to celebrate with friends and chocolate and something very outside the realm of my ordinary life. It turned out to be a good birthday after all! This was so unexpected, especially since Mike had already gotten me a very nice birthday gift.

Oh, speaking of unexpected gifts, here’s a little story that is not exactly funny but I must tell.

We got a thick Amazon packet on Friday. I couldn’t recall ordering anything so decided I better not open it in case it was a late birthday gift. When Mike got home I showed it to him and he couldn’t remember ordering anything either. We had a little skirmish about who got to open it. Once we saw the book we basically threw it at each other and tried not to touch it. It was a big, thick booked called Outsmarting Your Cancer. We both just stared at it and kind of freaked, until Mike realized his dad probably had it mailed to us. I guess his dad had prostate cancer and used some of the ideas in this book and now he is cured. Or something? I don’t really understand the details.

Life keeps going at such a fast pace that I never have a second to sit down here with my thoughts, so I turn to the devil that is Facebook instead of here. Though I have really been censoring myself a lot on there lately because I am annoyed by so many of the mommy posts that I never want to come across as “that mommy.” Except? We all know my kids are the bomb diggity, right? So I guess I am “that mommy.”

I was asked what Erik did for a science project. He used his Squishy Circuits* to test different kitchen items and see if they will conduct electricity. Surprisingly, cheese was the best conductor.

Our science fair is non-competitive and not a requirement. We only had about 20 participants (out of 517 students) so it is very low-key. Our school just can’t seem to get parent involvement and it drives me crazy. And let’s face it, a science project is not going to happen without parent support (even if it is just driving the kid to the store and paying for some supplies), thus the low turn out.

I had my big birthday on Wednesday, which is a really awful day for a birthday. But birthdays are really awful when you are turning fucking-40 so I guess that makes sense. I had too much going on to really celebrate. It was just a bad day all around. I didn’t realize I was PMSing, but I totally was. Elsa woke up at 6:30 and kept coming in my room every five minutes trying to get me out of bed. I am not a morning person so this was not making me happy. When the alarm finally went off, she came in my room and held a bright red light in my eye so I screamed at her to get it out of my face and then she cried and cried and cried because I hurt her feelings, so I felt like mom of the year. All day long she was cranky and tantruming (probably because she got up so early) and being extremely defiant. I hate defiance.

It may have been my birthday, but when you have little kids your birthday is no longer about you. The kids were over-the-moon excited to present their gifts to me and I had to act over-the-moon excited to receive two Frozen magnets, a purple pillow pet and a stuffed fish.

Obviously I was over the moon that they were over the moon about being gift givers. Erik is an extremely generous, sweet young man who is working very hard at giving thoughtful gifts. Elsa. . .well. . . she’s three. She has claimed my stuffed fish as hers and is not happy with me when I suggest that maybe I want to keep my own gift (and I really do not want to keep it!).

My friend came over after lunch and brought flowers and a cake, which was so thoughtful of her! It’s good to have friends.

Then I had to take the kids to swim lessons and by the time they were done we didn’t really want to go anywhere too far away so ended up at Outback so I splurged on a Bloomin’ Onion and lived to regret it. I can’t eat onions, so I was sick all night long. I really would love to go to an adult restaurant, but Wednesday night is not an easy night to find a sitter. We’ll go out when my mom is here in April.

Mike bought me exactly what I requested–a Silhouette cutting machine! I can’t wait to play around with it! He also got me Orphan Black Season 1, so we’ll be able to review before season 2 starts. I love that show.

Then, of course, I had to talk to my mom on my birthday. I really love talking about all the various ways my sister has screwed up her life and is neglecting her children. Such an uplifting topic. My dear sister has lost her HUD house (not actually her fault because the house had a secret basement that was forbidden by HUD standards) so she and her boyfriend are flopping on her husband’s couch. Yes, that statement made my brain hurt. She found a place, but the landlords did a background check on her boyfriend. He had over 50 charges ranging from DUIs to assualt to burglary, so they refused her and my mom was mad at the landlord. Why would any landlord ever rent to that mess?

I know without a shadow of a doubt that my sister is going to try to move into my mom’s house while she is here (she arrives April 12). I know my mom is going to spend her whole trip on the fucking phone, either yelling at her or kvetching with her 3 friends. I know she will speed out of here early, after promising my children that she will stay the whole time. I know that she only has two topics of conversation and I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SICK of both them 1) How to lose weight and be thin! And 2) Your sister is a meth-head whore so I better throw more money at her so I can end up in the poor house while she does meth!

I have flat out told her I don’t want to hear it and she’ll stop for a little while, but she has a boring life and those are the only two topics that interest her. I am dreading this visit. I have a feeling I am going to snap and it is not going to be pretty.

But now I really have to get to bed. Hopefully I’ll have a relaxing day tomorrow and can write some more! We are going over to our friend’s house for a birthday dinner and I’m taking the cake I’ve been working on for the past several hours (why do I do this to myself?). Erik is going to spend the night there, so I should get a nice break (I put Erik to bed, Mike puts Elsa to bed).

*Way cooler than Snap Circuits, or at least the children we’ve introduced them to think so. It uses playdough instead of wires to conduct electricity. You can make all kinds of thing, especially if you make the non-conducive sugar dough to keep things divided when you are creating sculptures. I kind of understood electricity from the snap circuits, but playing with the Squishy Circuits was much more education for me personally.

I can’t believe how little I post here these days. I am super busy, but there is a sameness to the days that precludes posting every little detail. I wish I was still a naive young blogger who believed no one in real life would ever find my little corner of the internet. That ship has sailed and I know better. Now I can’t tell you all about my crazy acquaintances because I am pretty sure I’d be caught. Plus, I have a much better quality of friends these days so I wouldn’t want to write crazy stuff about them anyway. I know some crazy people, but I am exhausted by them and they aren’t worth the drama.

How about some quick bullet points?

*I was promoted to Assistant Regional Coordinator for MOMS Club a couple of weeks ago. I love it! However, it means a lot of computery e-mail time. I have several coordinators working under me and I’m the person they come to for answers (though I have people above me that I go to for answers). Right now I am supervising all of Maryland and a few chapters in Virginia. My supervisor and I work together really well. She was my trainer when I first started out and we think a lot alike. We’ve only met in person a couple of times since she lives in Kentucky.

*Today I knew my winter doldrums were finally gone for good when I took the vacuum upstairs and attacked my room and did a piles and piles of laundry. I do piles and piles of laundry every week, but this time I did some blankets as well. It felt good to get things in order.

I also emptied out Erik’s trash can in his room. I don’t do that very often because he doesn’t have much trash, so I was shocked and disgusted when I found very old URINE in the bottom of his trash can! It looked like someone had moved the trash bag and peed under it because the pee was all in the bottom of the can and not in the bag. DISGUSTING.

Erik swears he didn’t do it. It is possible his little friend did it, which kind of sounds like something that kid would do. I don’t know. His room has been stinky for awhile, but I couldn’t figure out why. I guess that problem is solved. He was just very lucky he was at school when I discovered the problem or who knows what I would have done to him. I am still in shock that someone would do that!

*I got a long over due hair cut today and am really pleased with it. I just wish I knew how to do the magic that a stylist can do. Guess we’ll see if I am pleased with it tomorrow when I have to do it myself.

I’ve needed a haircut for at least two months, but I am d-o-n-e with my regular stylist. She was always pushing color on me, and I don’t need color. The last three or four haircuts she gave me were awful and she also refused to consider a different style for my hair. Ummmmmmm. . . what? Sure, it was a cut that worked for me, but I do like to try new things. Hell, I had a great style in 1995, but that doesn’t mean I want a Rachel for the rest of my life. I would just agree with her because I didn’t have time to fight, but the last cut definitely pushed me over the edge. Finding a new stylist is really daunting, which is why I kept going back.

I tried someone totally new at a new salon and I loved her! She was a teacher of cosmetology and decided she was tired of the commute into DC, so got a job up here. Maybe this stylist break-up will be a lot less painful than I thought it would be.

*I’ve had three people in the past week tell me they are planning on naming their future (as yet to be conceived) daughters “Elsa.” Aaaaaaaannnnnnnddddd. . . . there goes her uncommon name, which I knew was going to happen as soon as I saw the movie. I know I just need to let it go.

Who knew I was going to end up with a Disney prince and queen? (I forgot the prince in Little Mermaid is named Eric).