The Queen's Rambles

Isn’t that a pretty quilt? I wish you guys could see it in person. Crystal used a freehand wave motion to make it look really oceany. I love it! She is so great at taking things that are simple and making them really fancy and special.

Now, if I could just get a decent picture of Elsa’s smile? She is so pretty when she smiles, but it is almost impossible to catch on camera. Weird, since she is the happiest baby I’ve ever seen. Granted my experience with babies is a bit limited. Erik was one pissed off baby so this whole “sit around and smile a lot” is blowing my wee little mind.

She’s lucky she’s so happy and sweet because she toasted my laptop.

I guess it’s not her fault I had my laptop balanced on the boppy while I was feeding her. She kicked it, it fell, the screen fragmented internally and I no longer have a laptop.

I guess I am either numb due to exhaustion or happy due to having such an easy baby, but I can’t seem to get totally worked up about it. I probably should go cry my eyes out for three days, but instead I just have kind of panicked, then shrugged my shoulders and said “shit.”

The good news is I haven’t lost any data. That’s the only reason I can be calm. We hooked the computer up to an old monitor and everything is still there. I can still can’t online and do all the things I need to do, it is just more inconvienent.

I need to figure out if I can even get it repaired or if it is totally toast. Guess we should have bought that extra protection insurance.

In other news, we bought a slip and slide yesterday. We’ve had several neighborhood kids over to play with it but thus far only Erik and Calvin will throw themselves on it and slide. I’m glad to see I’m not the only wimp in the world. I never did understand the appeal of throwing yourself face first onto a thin sheet of plastic. The one time I tried, my knee was torn up by a rock underneath the sheeting. I needed stitches but my mom told me to suck it up and quit crying. I was 13. I have a pretty big scar on my knee since no one stitched it up. I guess that makes my mom sound pretty bad but I don’t think I would let her look at it and I was too big for her to really man handle.

When we were out inviting kids to the party we stumbled on Erik’s scooter. I figured the hooligans had it and I was right. We haven’t been out playing all week because it’s been really hot or we would have found it sooner. The hooligans weren’t home so I just took it back with out a problem. I was hoping the hooligan adults wouldn’t come out. I told the teen girl who was helping ride herd on the neighborhood kids to call the police if I wasn’t back in five minutes. I don’t think the adults in the house would say anything. I should be the indignant one, after all. But you never can tell with people like that. If they said anything I was planning on putting on a happy face and saying something about their kid borrowing it and that I just came to get it back. It is no use to be accusatory toward people like that.

We went to a birthday party yesterday and it is clear Erik is in love. Aw, sweet love. Luckily it is with a girl that’s really fun and nice. Her family just moved to town and I am totally loving the mom. She’s really similar to me in a lot of ways which makes it really easy to hang out with her.

Erik was following her all around during the party telling her she was beautiful and that he was delighted to be at her party and that he was hoping she was having a good time.

Little girl parties are so different from little boy parties. There were only two boys there yesterday and one of them was pretty shy. Usually when we go to boy birthday parties the boys end up in middle of the living room or yard all piled on top of each other while the moms try to keep someone from really getting hurt. Usually the craft table is unoccupied and there’s lots of dirt and loudness and just general boy stuff going on. At this party there was no wrestling. The girls sat for a looooong time doing crafty stuff. Rules were followed. Turns were taken. It was all very calm.

Are any of you country fans? Do you know the song “There’s One in Every Crowd?” I swear that song sums up my son. I hope he’s not whiskey bent and hell bound, but the party definitely doesn’t start till he walks in the door.

It is so bizarre for me to watch this kid grow up. He’s always Mr. Popular and Mr. Personality wherever we go. Everyone wants Erik at their parties and playdates. I was not a popular kid. I wouldn’t say I was unpopular. I was never bullied or anything like that, but I was shy and no one ever paid any attention to me. I didn’t really know how to function in social situations and here I have my four year old telling his little friend that he’s delighted to be at her party.

To think, when he was a little baby I used to get myself so worked up over the thought of my poor little baby boy being the victim of mean bullies that I would be crying. I suppose anything can happen, but I think it is very unlikely that he’ll be the target of bullies. If he is, he’s scrappy enough that he’ll probably punch them in the face as he’s talking them to death.

I can’t wait to see what kind of personality Elsa develops. I hope they are far enough apart that she isn’t always living in his shadow.

Yesterday was a much better day. We didn’t have anything on our calendar, so we just sat around in our underwear and played Indiana Jones all afternoon. I am such a good mom. NOT! I just couldn’t face the thought of going outside in the 100 degree weather and I’ve found that it isn’t really fun to take Elsa to the pool with us. The water is so cold I don’t want to dip her in it, but it is so hot she and I get way overheated just sitting and watching Erik. Boo! I’ll be glad when she’s ready for the pool next year.

I also got a super-duper surprise in the mail yesterday! I need to get camera batteries to show you! I was surprised with a sweet, pink, mermaidy quilt for Elsa! Thank you Crystal!> Crystal is one of my favorite quilters. She knows how to blend colors to create something unexpected, yet something in perfect harmony. I love her creativity.

In other news, Erik still claims he will never go back to swim class. I would like to find that guy and beat the shit out of him. What is the point of power tripping with a four year old? I have loved our swimming classes at this place, but this guy has ruined that. He obviously doesn’t know how to work with children. Bah.

I am still pissed about the diaper lady not taking back her diapers. What part of “You screwed the pooch” does she not understand? She has a store front. She says she is swamped with orders, which is why the diapers were so late. Wouldn’t it be super easy for her to sell them again on her site? It would certainly be better for her business to do that than to have me bad mouthing her all over the internet.

Anyway, I just found out that one of my local friends does cloth diapering. She was due last week so should pop at any moment. She doesn’t know if she’s having a girl or boy, but as soon as I found out I’ll wrap up two or three of the diapers and call it good. I have two gender neutral and one girly so I’ll just have one diaper left to worry about if she has a boy. She made Elsa a little hat and I was going to make a little taggie blanket for her baby, but I don’t really have time and these diapers are super cute, if teeny tiny, so it will work out. Doesn’t make me any less pissed off about the WAHM being an idiot, but at least I have a plan. I doubt that lady is going to have her business long anyway if that’s the way she runs things.

We’re off to the last birthday party of the month in a couple of hours. I guess I better run off to the shower and try to tame my unruly mane. I’ve never had an unruly mane before, but you should see the almost-curls. It would be almost pretty if there wasn’t an oil slick under there. Humidity. It’s interesting.

Did I mention we bought tickets for a week in Oregon? We were going to use our reward points with our credit card. Ha! I called and you have to book through their travel agent. Using our reward points would have cost significantly more than just booking ourselves. Bah! At least we can use the points for Amazon gift cars, but that is a damn lot of books. Or whatever. I guess you can get anything through Amazon these days. I just bought the coolest changing pad thing through them or e-bay, can’t remember which one. It props up on one side so when you are changing the baby in the car the baby isn’t rolling into the crease of the seat. I rarely changed Erik in the car. It didn’t work very nicely with the old Saturn and we weren’t out all that much. I change Elsa in the car all the time. We are always at the park or wherever and the van seats are the right height. Now she isn’t rolling into the crack and it makes a huge difference. Yay for innovative baby products! And yay for happy babies! She’s been sitting happily in her bouncy seat this whole time.

I think this is the first day since I’ve had Elsa that I’ve just sat and cried and cried. With Erik that was pretty much every day. And this time? I can’t say it is Elsa’s fault. All she does is sleep or hang out in her seat. She only cries if she’s hungry, needs a diaper change or has to fart.

However, she does like to stay up late. She was up until 1:30 am so I’m functioning on very little sleep today.

So why the crying?

Erik’s swim class.

I’ve LOVED his swim lessons through the British Swim School. I’ve been recommending them to everyone. The boy can swim! It’s a really neat program that works with the kid’s ability levels instead of grouping them all together.

He was moved to a new teacher a few weeks ago and I haven’t been impressed with the new guy. It all came to a head today when he wouldn’t let Erik swim because Erik wouldn’t look him in the eye and say “yes.”

Erik didn’t want to go swimming today. He wanted to stay home and play Indiana Jones. I am about to take that fucking disc and break it into a thousand pieces. It’s in time out until at least Saturday.

Anyway, he was pouty at the pool, but not being naughty or anything. He did was he was asked, just not happily. Then this idiot starts escalating things and won’t let him in the pool unless he looks him in the eye. Ok, so that would be the ideal, but are we paying for swim lessons or ettique lessons? He’s FOUR. If he’s doing what he’s told that’s good enough. He doesn’t have to do it happily or with a good attitude.

I was beyond pissed with both Erik and the guy and we ended up leaving ten minutes into the lesson. Erik was hysterical because Mr. Isaac was being so mean to him. I haven’t seen him that upset in a long time.

I called the place and talked to a boss and got Erik switched to a different teacher. I am afraid I’m going to have to cancel the lessons completely because Erik says he is never going back. He’s very stubborn and if he decides he’s not going to do it I’m afraid he won’t. I hope the new teacher will be able to work with him. There is no reason to escalate a battle for power with a FOUR year old. None. I want to punch that guy in the face.

Then there’s the continuing saga of the diapers. I am feeling so screwed these days.

So I ordered a set of custom diapers on March 1 knowing there was a 5 week wait time. I got the diapers yesterday and there is no way they will fit Elsa. I can’t even snap them closed and the rise doesn’t go up very high. They are tiny little diapers and I have a giant baby.

I e-mailed the owner and asked what she could do for me–refund or exchange–since it was her fault that they were so late and unusualbe. She told me she could send me extender tabs and that if she is only 2 months old they will fit her for a super long time and that they fit her 14 month old so of course they will fit my 2 month old. She also said if I was a fan on Facebook I would have known to e-mail her and ask for a bigger size.

I e-mailed back that they wouldn’t fit and I was very unhappy–that the wait was not my fault and I was not a fan on facebook. Then I got pissy and spilled the whole story on Diaper Pin, a diaper review site.

That got her attention. She sent me another e-mail taking me to task for slamming her in public instead of working with her. Didn’t I TRY to work with her? Didn’t I tell her the problem? Was there a workable solution for me? I feel screwed.

I e-mailed her back and was pretty pissy. I tried and tried to be patient with her but she just doesn’t get it. You don’t run a business by delivering your items MONTHS late and then getting upset when your customers are upset. Of course we’re upset! I feel like I was swindled out of my money. Her e-mail was full of excuses about how many orders she has, but you know what? I don’t give a flying fig. I only care about my order. Lack of planning on her part does not make an emergency on my part.

Now she says she is going to send me a free diaper and the extender tabs. I guess I’ll offer the diapers and extender tabs up for sale on Diaper Swappers, but I know I won’t be able to recoup my cost. People on there want something for nothing. One lady got peeved at me that I wouldn’t sell her six maternity blouses for $20. They each retail for $40. Selling the lot for $20 barely cover my shipping! I was asking $25, which feels like practically nothing but I know used clothes don’t go for much. I’d rather give them away on freecycle and not mess with the shipping than sell them for $20. Shipping prices are insane these days.

So yes. Shitty day. And I am short on diapers*.

*That I like using. I have a few that I hate using but am trying to sell them.

Party down, people! It’s June! I swear there are ten thousand birthdays this month. I took a reader’s advice (thanks Shannon!) and didn’t get a gift for all the kids at yesterday’s party. I was not the only one who only brought a gift for the kid we knew. Even after hanging out at the party all day I still couldn’t identify the birthday girls. I’m sure I saw them. There were 92 people at the party and I’m not even exaggerating. The hostess sent out an e-mail telling us so. It was insane. They had a bounce house and airbrush tattoos. It was nice, though. I just sat in the air conditioned living room and zoned out.

I am ready to take a hammer and smash my camera into teeny tiny pieces. I want to break it down into indivdual atoms. I’m not sure I have a hammer capable of separating molecules. Anyway, I was just looking at pictures from Julie and Jeff’s visit and they are mostly all totally blurry. Just like all the flippin’ pictures it takes. I did so much research to find the best, most non-blurry camera and I end up with this jacked up piece of crap? BOO! It’s a Canon Powershot in case anyone is interested.

In other words, there aren’t any pictures of our fun times on Thursday night.

Here’s The Teenagers. Thankfully Erik is calming down about the Indiana Jones game, though tonight when he was telling me his story about Spot (I am so very tired of stories about Spot. I have to tell him a story, then he tells me a story. Usually his story is a condensed version of my story), Spot had to get across a pit of red snakes by building a bridge. Directly from the game, much?

Julie brought some super cute outfits for Elsa! I thought they might be a little big, but with diaper butt they fit perfectly.

I love that little tunic set. It is really pretty and dainty without being pink. I like pink, but it is nice to get other colors. She also got a couple of things in my favorite color, but she puked all over them before I got pictures. They match most of my clothes, which Julie knew when she picked them out. I am so predictable in my clothing color choices.

We aren’t much for celebrating holidays, but we did have a gift prepared for Mike. I think it turned out cute.

Erik painted all the blue, then the gal working helped him with his hand print. I did the fish details and lettering. I was a really mean mommy and limited his color pallet. He wanted a green and red fish, but I learned my lesson the hard way–never let him mix colors that turn brown if I want a nice result. In most cases I don’t care and let him do whatever he wants, but this was not a cheap piece of paper. I decided if we were going to spend that much money on a piece of pottery I wanted it to be a decent keepsake. I’d say we had success.

I wanted to do something with Elsa’s footprints, but she was screaming bloody murder when we were at the pottery place so it was way too stressful. I decided to pick my battles and that battle was one I wasn’t willing to fight.

In other news, I think Erik’s scooter was stolen off the porch. The last time I remember seeing it, it was there and I made a comment that it was going to get stolen if someone didn’t bring it in. I was ignored. The scooter is no where to be found. I hope it turns up in the neighborhood or around here, but who knows. We have teenagers taking a short cut right by our front porch all the time so it is probably long gone. I’m hoping it was just the hooligans down the street so we can get it back.

I have two major frustrations in my life right now. Totally unrelated to each other, but I need a theme. Frustrations it is! My head is about to pop off my poor little shoulders based on these two things so you might as well hear about them before I make national news for a popped top.

I never thought I would be complaining about anything Indiana Jones, but Oh-emm-gee! I am so over the Indiana Jones Lego Wii game.

Remember when I was a smug non-mother and swore no kid of mine would have a video game until s/he had the money to buy it him/herself? Yeah. That’s not so realistic when you have an actual child who is exposed to things that are out of your control and then won’t. shut. up. about. it.

Plus, there’s the whole “I love my kid and want to see sheer joy on his face which is easily achieved through the spending of Mike’s hard earned money.”

We’re always on the look out for a Wii game that he can play by himself but that has a two player option. So far we’ve not really had any luck. There are a few, but he’s just not that interested in doing it alone. Mr. Social strikes again.

I saw him playing Indiana Jones at the gym with some other kids and didn’t realize how it worked. I didn’t know that you can be terrible at it but still feel like you are acheiving success as long as the other player knows what to do. The last time I regularly played a two player video game Mario was the man. The original Mario. On the original Nintendo. Games have come a long way. The two players are teammates, so instead of waiting ten years for your really good sibling to finaly die already, the second player can jump in or out of the game at will and doesn’t really have to do much. As far as I can tell there is no penalty for sucking. No matter how many times you die you just pop right back up in the same place. No going back to the very beginning, no real consequences at all.

I saw him happily playing the game so I assumed that meant he was a capable player. I had no idea it meant he was just waving around the controller while the other kid did all the work.

You get where this is headed?

He wants to play the game every waking moment, but only if Mike or I play with him. I am ready to throw the flim-flamming game in the trash. I’m going to lose my shit if I have to listen to any more whining about me playing the game. IT IS NOT FUN! At least not for me.

And you know what happens when I shut the game off, as a good mother should do? The kid breaks down in heart wrenching sobs and cries and cries and cries. And cries some more.

It’s unreal. I’ve never seen anything affect him like this and I don’t like it. He was up at 6:30 this morning wanting to play the game.

The only good in all this bad is that our very good friends Julie and Jeff dropped by for a visit yesterday. They brought along their two teenagers, who managed to get half-way through the game before it was time to go. Thank the gods of technology for teenagers. We were stuck in a cave and had no idea what to do, but now we are long past that. One of them also mentioned looking up a walk-through, so once again thank the gods of technology for teenagers. Random teenagers post YouTube videos of the game so you can see exactly what you need to do. Much handier than the old gaming magazines we had to buy when I was a kid.

I’m planning on making Erik some time cards and a timer to try to get a handle on this thing. I don’t know if that will work. If it doesn’t, the game is going to time out for a month. Ugh. Why oh why oh why did I buy that stupid thing? I don’t need a game obsessed four year old.

My other frustration is the cloth diapering world.

I generally really like the cloth diapering. It’s not as hard as I thought it would be and the laundry isn’t bad at all. I bought a variety of diaper types and have figured out what works for us. Now I’m trying to sell off the ones we dislike so we can buy more of the ones we like.

So why am I frustrated?

I have had horrible luck with the various shops I’ve bought through. Some have been great. The FuzziBunz factory seconds store is amazing! But most of them? I’m ready to reach through my computer and smash some skulls.

One store has failed to ship out my orders two seperate times. The first time it happened it was marked at shipped but when I tried to track my order I couldn’t find a tracking number. I e-mailed and they e-mailed back a few hours later with a tracking number. Despite being marked as shipped, they didn’t mail it until they received the e-mail asking about it.

Then last week I ordered some laundry soap from them and it never showed. I finally checked and it wasn’t marked as shipped. They shipped it as soon as I e-mailed them, but I shouldn’t have to send harassing e-mails to get my order to ship. Once would be a pain but forgivable. Twice? Not so much. I’m not impressed.

Another store is really just a work at home mom who sews diapers. I knew there was a five week wait time when I ordered on March 1, but that was fine. Guess what? It is mid-June and I STILL don’t have my diapers. I’ve been in contact with the woman and her whole family was really sick. After my bout with pnemonia I am pretty sympathetic about that, but it still is taking too long. I just e-mailed her again today and she’s claiming my diapers will be in the mail tomorrow. We shall see.

Then there is the whole “super fancy diapers that are supposed to be the best but that are a piece of crap” saga. I think I already wrote about that? Five of eight diapers had several defective snaps and one wasn’t waterproof. I sent those five back, along with a letter very clearly expressing my disappointment and what needed to be done to remedy my dissatisifcation. We shall see if they come through. They said they would repair the snaps. I said I wanted them to pay for my return postage. I shouldn’t have to send back over half my order.

And then there’s the issue of the laundry soap. I’m using Charlies, which several people swear by. Maybe it’s my water, I don’t know, but it doesn’t do anything for our clothes. We’re using it for everything since I’ve learned that you aren’t supposed to use any regular detergent in your washing machine when cloth diapering since it leaves a residue that causes the diapers to repel water. Our diapers are much more absorbant now, but Erik’s clothes are not getting clean. I pull them out and literally still see DIRT all over them. Not just grease stains or other stuff that I would expect to have a hard time coming out, but DIRT. Plain ol’ brown dirt.

If I ever get my order from the shop that doesn’t ship out, I’ll have some Rockin’ Green detergent. Hopefully that will work better. I can’t deal with dirty clothes.

Like I said, I really like the cloth diapering. I feel great that we aren’t contributing so much to landfills and we aren’t spending so much money on a disposable product. I’m just frustrated by the process of acquiring my stash and figuring out what works. I usually have really good luck ordering things online, so to have three bad store experiences all related to cloth diapering sort of colors my overall feelings and makes me crazy. Now that I’ve basically got my stash established I shouldn’t have to do too much more ordering so hopefully I can be un-frustrated soon. We’ll see if I ever get my five diapers back in a usable condition and my other three diapers arrive. That EIGHT out of my planned stash. That’s a whole lot. If I had those eight diapers I would only have to do diaper laundry every three days and not feel panicked about it. We do have a supply of disposables b/c we use them at night, but I still get a little panicky when I’m down to my last five diapers and need to throw a load in.

Howdy! It’s been awhile. I suppose some people go four days without posting and don’t feel weird, but not me. I don’t feel guilty, but I do feel. . . discombobulated. If only Erik and Elsa would get on the same rest/sleep schedule I might have some time to myself. By the time Elsa goes to sleep I am d-o-n-e for the day.

She got to have a big milestone on her two month birthday. We all got to meet cool internet people, StrangeDave and Davesangel on LJ. They were here for a very not-fun reason, but we had a fun afternoon visiting with them. I love meeting my internet people. They really are real! And they brought gifts! Ann made really cute hooded towels that will last a long time. She also spoiled me with a beautiful wrap/scarf thing in my favorite color.

At two months Elsa is finally starting to wake up a little. She likes to imitate the things we do like sticking out our tongues or opening our mouths. She’s also finally starting to coo and recognize us. She’s a daddy’s girl all the way and totally lights up when he enters the room. Also, that girl can pout! She is such a B@dorek baby. I didn’t even realize Erik wasn’t a pouter until she stuck out her lower lip. I started laughing because it is a habit she comes by honestly. I may have stuck out my lower lip just a teeny-tiny bit on one or two occasions.

I already have my period back. TMI, I know, but it is unfair and I want to whine about it. I have been in an incredibly foul mood. Melt your bones, foul. Turn your soul into ashes, foul. I had a meeting with my mothers group last night and thought I was going to get into a ultimate cage fight with one of the other women. I’m becoming much better at taking a hit now that I’m letting Erik rough house a little so I think I could take her. This woman is in two groups, which is not allowed. Now we see why–total conflict of interest! She keeps wanting to give her other group our free rental room. I was pretty hot under the collar last night when I explained to her that her other group has a simple solution to their problem. They just need to call the bank, find out when the room is available and change their meetings to that day. There is no flippin’ need for us to lose out on our free room. We have it twice a month and she thinks we only need it once a month.

I’ve also been surly with my dear son, but he deserves it most of the time. I was a super nice mommy today and bought him Jungle B’Jones (aka Indiana Jones Lego for the Wii). I’m just glad he is calling it Jungle B’Jones. He was calling it the Indian game and went up to every single person he met in Target and told them he had an Indian in his bag and asked if they wanted to see. I’m just glad we are in a place where saying Indian isn’t really rude. The Indians here are from India so I guess Indian is an acceptable term. In Oregon I probably would have got my ass kicked since you aren’t supposed to call Native Americans Indians.

Anyway, how did he repay my generousity? He threw a metal bucket at my leg. I didn’t see it coming, so couldn’t even dodge. My ankle is still bruised and sore. He knew he was in deep shit. He took off running, but I caught him. I’m not really even all that embarassed to say he had a bright red hand print on his butt that lasted well over an hour. We’re trying to make him wear underwear but it’s an uphill battle. I told him spankings hurt less with underwear, but since he is rarely spanked he doesn’t get it.

Why doesn’t he wear underwear? All the discussions end the same “but I just like people to look at my wiener.”

He’s a mans, man I suppose. He certainly is into violence. Ugh. I have to admit I am glad he’s not a wuss. We see wimpy boys out and about and they kind of grate on my nerves. Wimpy girls are grating too, but not in the same way. I never thought I was a sexist, but I guess I sort of am. I just wish boyishness didn’t involve so much hitting. Everything is POW! WHAM! KA-BOOM! WHAP! SPIDERMAN!

Yesterday we went to Romp ‘n Roll open gym that was fun for boys. There were seven rowdy little boys, three dads, me and Elsa. Elsa and I ended up in the lobby out of harm’s way. The boys had a blast throwing balls, jumping on the dads’ backs, and whapping the snot out of each other. I tried to control Erik, but with six other little boys and the dads all encouraging the behavior it was a lost cause.

We went back today and it was mostly really little kids so it took quite a bit of Mama intervention to rachet him down to an acceptable level of romping and rolling.

I’m boring myself. I’m sure interesting things have been happening. I’m just way too tired to think of them or to think of a clever way to word things. Bah! I am so ready to slap myself right now.

1) I’m glad I feel safe in our neighborhood. Elsa and I took a stroll around the perimeter at 11:30 last night. Anything to stop a screaming baby, right? I just kept repeating to myself “At least she’s not Erik, at least she’s not Erik.” Let’s all hope she doesn’t develop into an Erik: screaming for hours on end for no discernible reason.

2) Speaking of Erik. Grrrrrr. That child is lucky you can’t give kids away on freecyle. He would NOT listen to a word I said yesterday. My friend gave us a giant houseplant and he’s totally decimated the leaves. He picks at them constantly. Yesterday I told him if he touched the plant one more time I was going to spank his butt. We aren’t spankers, but OH MY GOD. So what did he do? Reached out and touched it. Guess who got his butt spanked? Guess who cried? Guess who felt like shit afterwards? Guess what was given away on freecycle?*

3) I wonder if my sister just received a death threat. The phone just rang. Unavailable name and number. I know Mike is working with Spain right now, so I picked up the phone just in case Spain was calling. Or a person in Spain. I don’t think a country knows how to dial the phone. Anyway, I was patient when there was no person right away. Finally I hear a guy saying “Lexie? Lexie?” Then there was the Pac-Man died little music sound. Lexie is my sister. Why would someone call here for her and then play the Pac-Man death music? I would assume it was some sort of credit collector, but do they make arcade death threats?

4) I used to be so confused when this old lady (the youth pastor’s wife. She was probably not even 30) would say that as you get older you don’t have to wash your hair as often. She always said her hair looked better a couple of days after a shower. I couldn’t imagine. Guess what? My hair looks a lot better before I shower. Doesn’t stop me from actually showering because I can’t stand the greasy feel. I don’t drink coffee so depend on a shower to wake me up. Still. Weird. I guess I’m an old lady. Ha.

5) My budget is going to be busted before I even buy myself a single thing. I ordered my sister’s three kids their birthday gifts. They all got Pillow Pets, chosen by Erik. We have a birthday party this weekend for a set of twins. We have a birthday party next weekend for a three sibling set, then we have a party the next weekend, but just for one little girl. That makes nine presents! We are only friends with one of the kids in the three sibling set. How rude would it be to just buy a gift for the kid we know and not his older sisters? I wish I knew if they had pierced ears. I’d get them earrings from that “free” silver jewelery place. Maybe I’ll get them each a necklace from there. I would skip it, but Erik knows about it and is super excited. The joys of having a social child are endless.

6) Speaking of social, apparently I am popular. And you know what happens to popular people? The unpopular people talk about them behind their backs and say really catty things to their faces. Ha! After Elsa was born I decided I can only work on making four people happy, Elsa, Erik, Mike and me. I’m not even all that successful at that. If anyone else wants anything from me they are going to have to pray it’s something that makes one of the four of us happy. Otherwise I don’t have the energy to care and anything you say to try to make me care is just going to make me laugh. I don’t even have the energy to get mad.

Anyway, now that I have been vivacious** for a couple of years I have lots of friends and everyone thinks I am vivacious. A couple of the less vivacious people have been stepping up the snotty levels lately, making really snide comments about how my events are always well attended and everyone always wants to do things for me. After being a wallflower for most my life, I find the whole thing hilarious and slightly unsettling. I’m popular enough to have people bitching about me? I have arrived! I guess I should have my feelings hurt, but it is all so ridiculous that I can’t quite bring myself to care.

7) I really should be cleaning my house right now. So much to be done! So little time! I needed to get a few things off my mind first. I miss my journal therapy.

8) I hate GoodMama Ones diapers. Hate! They are insanely popular, so I thought that meant they would be insanely good. I stupidly bought too many of them, working under the assumption I would like them. I wouldn’t be pissed if I didn’t like them. Them’s the breaks, right? I’m pissed because over half of them are defective. As in, do not function. Some of the have snaps that won’t snap and others aren’t water proof. As in, you put water in them and they leak right out of the cloth. They all leak pretty badly out of the sides, but I guess that’s not exactly defective. I have been in contact with them and I’m supposed to mail in the defective ones for repair, but I’m pissed about that. I have to pay return shipping on insanely overpriced DEFECTIVE items? I want my money back, but so far that doesn’t seem to be an option. I will keep on top of it and keep being a thorn in their side. I really wish I would have dug a little deeper in the reviews before I purchased them. Stupid newbie mistake. I don’t get why cute prints make a diaper so popular anyway. Even if the prints are cute, I’m not one for just having the baby in a diaper. I prefer onsies for an infant since t-shirts just crawl up their armpits.

*The plant. Not the kid. Not quite.
**My 2008 New Year’s Resolution was to Be Vivacious. It was really hard at first, but I pretended I was outgoing and popular and eventually I became outgoing and popular and my life has improved tremendously.

Playing Sandwich, a favorite game with the younger neighborhood kids.

I love our neighborhood. Love, love, love. I may wish for a bigger house instead of our little townhouse, but we couldn’t have gotten a better neighborhood. Well, I suppose we could have if you have different priorities than us, but I love what we have here.

We live in a dead end street that is lined with several blocks of townhouses. There’s a tiny playground in the middle, then there’s a big loop at the end with a block of grass and parking lot. There’s a big grassy hill at the end, backing up to the Department of Energy. We have a lot of green space compared to most townhome communities around here.

But that’s not the part to love. I love the people! Every night there are a billion kids of all ages outside playing. The kids split into little groups depending on age and fun preference, but it’s very fluid and they mostly get along. There’s a lot of drama from the tweeny group, but that’s to be expected and they just make me laugh.

We even have groups of teenagers hanging outside. They aren’t in zoning in front of the TV or video games. They’re out chatting and playing basketball. As far as I can tell they are all nice kids. They are generally polite and try not to curse in front of the little kids. They even let the younger kids join in their games. Last night they tried to teach Erik how to ride a skateboard.

Of course we do have a few households that are not so great. Section 8 druggies live across the street from the little playground. They let their kids run wild with no supervision, but even those kids are fairly polite, probably because the rest of the adults don’t stand for them being total hooligans. I guess every neighborhood has to have the resident baddies.

Recently we had a very large Hispanic family move in. Their children have been the most wonderful addition to our little community! They have upper elementary aged boys who are born leaders. They get the little kids lined up and playing organized games every evening. I don’t know how they do it, but they get all the kids to listen and play these intricate games. I am thinking of hiring them to come play with Erik in a mother’s helper capacity after Erik is done with his camps.

We’ve only lived here a year and I have been in at least seven of our neighbors’ houses. I lived in my natal home for 18 years and have been in maybe three of our neighbors’ houses. There’s always people out in the yards, watching the kids, chatting and doing yard work. It’s all very friendly.

Yesterday I was totally bored of playing with Erik and thought “he really needs a kid to play with.” I had him go knock on a neighbor’s door and we ended up having a great afternoon with two sleepy babies (born five days apart), two preschoolers and two tired mommies. It was so nice to be able to talk to an adult while the kids kept each other company.

I may be wireless, but I’m feeling very de-wired these days. I can’t hold a baby, a four year old and a computer. I’d like to kick off the four year old, but what kind of a mother would that make me? “Sorry dear, the computer is more important than you!” Which, of course, is not true. It’s just that the computer is more entertaining. I do not need to hear all the gibberish Erik shares in his every waking moment. Here’s a perfect example of why my computer is more brain stimulating than my four year old:

E: Mommy, mommy! Name my flower!
M: How about Petunia.
E: No. You can only name it the name I want to name it.
M: Ok, what name do you want to name it.
E: I’m not telling you. You have to name it yourself. But it has to be the name I want.

And around and round she goes.

We’ve done lots of stuff since I last posted, some of it even sort of post worthy.

I was really excited a few days ago when I learned about a charter school that some people are trying to open up just down the road from Erik’s preschool. A lady I know is on the board and she is all sorts of awesome, so I thought the school would be all sorts of awesome. It would be nature based, meaning the kids would spend a lot of time outside. I think Erik would totally thrive in an environment like that.

I contacted the main person and was invited a a Founders’ meeting the very next day. I had to go, of course! It was perfect. They are planning on opening the school in Fall 2011 and if you are a founding family (meaning you do a lot of volunteer work) you get preference for admission.

So off we went, through a major rainstorm (I couldn’t even see the road), with the two kids in tow.

What a joke.

I was really disappointed. The lady in charge had no idea what she was doing. Or rather, she had just enough of an idea to make it seem like she knew what she was doing, but once you really listened to her she had no clue. There were only 8 people at the meeting. Five of us had barely heard of the school and were just trying to get information, but she broke us into two groups and started trying to assign us tasks. Luckily I was not put with my friend. My friend’s group was working really hard on planning academics and I could hear that they knew what they were doing and they could make their part of the plan work.

Somehow we ended up on Facilities and Finance, which we know nothing about. I do, however, have a few idea. A) Thinking that Extreme Home Makeover will come out and renovate the school building you want to use is not an actual plan. B) Saying “I’m sure we can just rent out a few rooms from (name different places that you’ve never talked to and probably wouldn’t actually have the space or desire to rent out from a school) isn’t really a plan either.

There were people who actually knew stuff, but the lady didn’t really want to hear what people knew. One lady was asking about how they would handle the sewage since the current prospective site is on septic and would not handle a large load. The lady was not at all interested in solving that problem, but those are exactly the kinds of problems she is going to have to solve. She also mentioned something about school lunches and said she thought we could probably just serve whatever we wanted and not worry about it. Uhhhhh. No. I actually have some expertise in this field since I’ve worked in schools and food service at a senior center. There are very serious rules in place to meet USDA standards. She didn’t really want to hear about that, either.

I was really disappointed, and not pleased at wasting our Sunday afternoon but at least we learned not to get too excited. As soon as Mike and I were back in the van we looked at each other and started laughing. I believe our one word response was simply “No.” I don’t believe there is any way they are going to get their school approved for a Fall 2011 opening, if ever.

We were back to the daily grind today. The daily grind being playdates and such. I have a rough life. I have several pool playdates lined up for the month. I don’t know if I even need to get a pool membership for our family if all our friends keep inviting us to their pools.

We met up with friends we haven’t seen in forever, so that was really nice. Plus, my across the street neighbor was there with her two kids so that was a thrill for Erik as well. Her son is five days older than Elsa, but such a tiny little thing. Or maybe just normal sized? Elsa is gigantic. I still don’t see her as an Elsa. I try to call her Elsa, but generally I call her “sister” and that seems to work for now. Mike will never let me change her name. She’s named after his mother, plus he thinks I’m crazy for wanting to change it anyway. If we ever have another child (totally not in my life plan), I will not settle on a name until I actually see the baby. Lesson learned.

Anyway, our friends include a boy about Erik’s age who also enjoys being crazy and boyish. I love the mom because she likes to let them figure it out on their own and not yell at them to be nice. If they cry, they cry. It’s a very refreshing attitude and not one you see very often. We let the boys beat the crap out of each other and they loved every second of it. They never did cry. I was laughing because they are obviously children of their times. They would be rolling around on top of each other and one would say “No thank you, I really don’t like that” and the other would hop off and attack in a different way. Such polite little hooligans.

Speaking of hooligans, I did a bad thing today.

When Erik was taking his exercise class at the gym the teacher took pictures of each child and posted them on a board in the hallway. During the fall session someone stole Erik’s picture, which was very upsetting for him. I have no idea who took it or why, but it kind of freaked me out.

I was happy to see his picture from the spring session was still up, but I was sad because I didn’t know when it would be taken down and what would happen to the picture. It is an adorable picture and I NEEDED to have it. He’s my son. Rationalizing, yes, I know. You are guessing where this is going.

No one was looking, so I stole the picture. I don’t feel a bit guilty, except that I didn’t realize it was taped so it ripped a bit of the paper and kind of made it look bad. I’m going to have to scan it in in my copious amounts of free time so you can see exactly how adorable it is. Once you see it you’ll know I had no choice but to become a thief. As far as I know it’s the only thing I’ve ever stolen. I did accidentally steal a jolly rancher fire stick when I was a little kid (two were stuck together) and I wanted to go back and pay for the second one, but my mom wouldn’t let me because it was too far away. I am no longer consumed by guilt over that, especially since it was an accident.

I’ve been re-watching Veronica Mars lately. Sigh, sigh. Oh how I miss that show. Castle sort of fills that void, but not really. Anyway, I was laughing today because Veronica was supposed to send her dad a picture, proving she was where she said she was. I just expected her to whip out her phone and send a picture, but no. She had to use her camera, then hook it up to her laptop, then send an e-mail with the picture. Is that how things were done four years ago? I personally have no idea how to send a picture with my phone, but I’m pretty sure Veronica would have had it figured out.

Any of you watch Lie to Me? I had a big thrill tonight because Logan (Jason Dohring) was playing the part of a smirking psychopath. Ah, sweet, psychopathic Logan.

It’s 11 pm and the baby is sleeping! Why am I not in bed? I was planning on writing an entry this morning, but the silly girl was awake for most of our Erik-free time. Let’s hope that continues so we have earlier nights.

I started back at the gym on Tuesday and I am feeling some pain today. I can barely lift my arms. Perhaps diving right back in to BodyPump wasn’t the best idea, but I love BodyPump. I think I would feel better if I could do BodyPump more than once a week, but with Erik’s camp schedule I can only go to the Tuesday class. Bah! I’ve been doing the elliptical the other two days. I am definetly not in shape any more. I can’t believe I used to do it for an hour, but I know I’ll be back to the hour eventually.

It has been hard to go back because I’ve been so lazy, but I’ve been in a much better mood this week. Erik was on my last freakin’ nerve last week. Even when he wasn’t doing anything but twitching around the house I was ready to send him to the moon. I don’t know why it is so irritating to watch a kid be in a constant state of motion, even if they are not doing anything wrong, but it is. I suppose I was missing my endorphins. I haven’t been a cranky, yelling meany-mama this week.

This evening I was even feeling well enough to do some serious rough housing with the boy, which he thought was the bees knees. I’m surprised one of us didn’t end up with a black eye.

Surely I had something else exciting to write about? If so, I have no idea what. Did I mention I need to go to bed?

I also need to go over to the neighborhood pool and see about getting a membership. I miss our apartment pool! But how will it work with a baby and a big boy? I know I can just throw him in the pool with his float ring and he’ll be fine, but that will make me nervous. I’ve read that it isn’t good to take a baby into the water until they are about four months old because they can’t regulate their temperature very well. How awful will it be to sit on the side of the pool watching everyone frolic in the nice, cool water while I am sitting in the stifling heat? The heat can’t be good for the baby either. It would be so nice to spend our afternoons at the pool, out of this little house. What to do, what to do?

I have learned something amazing in the past few weeks. Did you know that sunlight is a natural stain remover? I don’t know if it will remove all stains, but it will remove breast milk baby poop like nobody’ business. I read about hanging diapers out to line dry to remove the stains but thought it would just fade them a little or something. I didn’t understand. Heck, I still don’t understand where the stain goes, but I can guarantee you that it works. I wish I would have known that when Erik was a baby. He had blowouts all the time and ruined many a cute little onsie. So far Elsa has only had one blow-out. I was sad because I thought my very favorite outfit was ruined, but I hung it out in the sun all day yesterday and the stain is gone. I can’t believe I’m talking poop removal laundry methods like it’s some sort of super exciting thing, but it amazes me. Where does the poop go?