Archive for January, 2012

Productive

I don’t know how long it will last, but I decided to turn over a new leaf today. I decided to make more of an effort to keep the house in order. I had a great excuse for letting things go when Elsa was younger, but at this point she can play independently so I just need to suck it up and work on my house keeping skills.

She still has a runny nose, so I couldn’t go to the gym today. I was going to go to Costco since it is always an ordeal and I rarely have enough free time to make the trip. I didn’t really need to stock up on anything, but I hated to let the opportunity slip by. Then I realized the key to my “buy nothing new month”: DON’T GO SHOPPING. Doh! Big money saving tip up for grabs. I could write the next “Simple Saving Tips” book and be rich. Rich, I tell you!

Instead, I scrubbed out the toilets and did a bunch of laundry. Elsa got into my make-up and spread it all over the master bathroom, so that added some fun to the clean up. Hmmmmm. Maybe she’s not quite ready to let me become a housekeeper extraordinaire.

Later she grabbed the very wet toilet brush and started dragging it around. I shouted “ELSA, NO!” and she immediately dropped it and ran away.

I need to remember that she is way more sensitive than Erik.

She completely disappeared, but I eventually found her in her closet, crying softly. My heart was breaking for my poor, sweet girl. I have been looking up parenting classes tonight. I need to learn to stop yelling.

New topic!

I spent some time with my young Pakistani neighbor this afternoon. My lord, that woman’s life is a hot mess. She’s not sure how old he husband is, but knows he’s in his late 40s. She’s in her early 20s. I was surprised a man would go that long without marrying, so I asked her if she was his first wife. Cue the drama.

Apparently she kept asking him if he had a wife in America and he kept saying “no, no of course not. No wife in America.” They went to the embassy to finish the paperwork for her visa and it was denied because he had a wife in America!

He claims it was a paper marriage and that my neighbor is the first woman he’s had sexual relations with, but she doesn’t believe it because what 40 year old man can be pure? Apparently he was married to a really old (she said 60 or 70) Chinese woman for six years.

He obviously divorced this woman, but it took awhile for the paperwork to go through. In the meantime his new wife was pregnant and gave birth to her first daughter in Pakistan while her pseudo-husband was in the US. He would just visit her once in a while. I’m really surprised her parents allowed this. You’d think they’d be outraged he had lied, but I guess it would be worse for her to be a single pregnant woman? I don’t know.

These days the old wife (officially divorced) comes to visit them on occasion and wants their children. She also demands that the man take her to a fertility clinic and give her his sperm so they can have a baby together. I guess they’ll have to go to Italy for that to happen! No American fertility clinic is going to work with an old woman.

My head was spinning.

To finish off the story, my neighbor tried to make some friendly conversation. . . “So, how many women has your husband slept with?”

I think my jaw about hit the floor. I told her that was Mike’s private business and that I had to get home to cook dinner. That is just not a topic I’m going to touch with a ten foot pole, esp with someone I barely know.

In better news!

I have been super productive on the MOMS Club front. I hate hate hate hate hate asking things of people, but we need guest speakers for our meetings and as president I kinda need to supply them. That’s the one part of the job that I hate the most. Today, however, I got a bug up my butt and decided it wasn’t hard to send an e-mail and to just get over myself and do it. The worst thing that could happen would be receiving a “no.” Honestly, the only “no” we’ve gotten is from the local coupon fraud queen. She would only do it for money. She doesn’t seem to understand the value of publicity and public goodwill. Obviously I didn’t know she was using fraudulent practices when one of our members contacted her about speaking to us. The funniest thing is that this member only knew her because she spoke to her Christian moms group. Guess they didn’t know she was a complete fraud either.

I’ve already heard back from both places I e-mailed and they are really excited to come speak to us! I guess I need to get over my childhood nonsense of being worthless and a bother and that no one would ever do anything for free.

In May we are going to have someone from a private swim school come and talk about water safety. In March we are going to have a presentation from the area poison control center. Both sound really fancy-schmancy for our little club.

Mike suggested I e-mail Michelle Obama and see if she’ll come speak about her healthy kids stuff since I”m on such a positive roll. I have a sneaking suspicion she might be a lot harder to book, even if we are within her geographic area.

I’m done with my presidency in June, so I think I really only need to find one more speaker to feel like my duties have been carried out sufficiently. I am so happy that someone else is eager to take on the prez role. I said I’d do the membership VP role. I enjoy recruiting new members and making sure they are comfortable in our group, so it’s the perfect job for me.

Guess I better get to bed. I have a feeling it is going to be a long day tomorrow. Mike scared the heck out of me by coming home early today (5:30, so not super early) because he is sick. Erik has bright red cheeks and feverish looking eyes, though he doesn’t feel hot. I don’t know if either of them will be leaving the house tomorrow.

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Back to reality

Today was the day I was dreading–we were back to reality. Mike took last week off and Erik had Christmas break, so it was pretty jarring to have everyone get up early and head off into the world. I literally had to drag Erik out of bed by his heels. It was not pleasant. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to manhandle him into doing what needs to be done. I don’t know what I would have done if I was a petite woman.

Mike was super stressed and worried that he wouldn’t sleep, so I kindly gave him my very last sleeping pill. He’s so weird, though, that it did no good. For some reason most medications seem to have the exact opposite effect on him, so he was up till 4 am. I almost think it is a reverse placebo effect because he hates pills so much.

Without my pill (it is not really medication, it is melatonin and chamomile) I couldn’t get to sleep and when I finally did get to sleep I had crazy ass dreams that left me exhausted. My dreams taught me a valuable lesson: when you accidentally end up in an alternate reality, the best way to kill German vampires is to dress in a Storm Trooper uniform and do a Zumba routine. It’s very effective if your uniform includes a sharp machete. It was very vivid.

I really wanted to go back to the gym today, but Elsa is getting over a cold. They have a very strict two wipe policy in the childcare room, so I knew I couldn’t take her. The second time they have to wipe a child’s nose, the parent is called and the child has to leave.

Instead I went to Target to get Erik’s favorite meatballs. I am doing a “buy nothing new” month, but not very successfully. I spotted this thing called a “skin care tool” that was basically a metal thing with a loop at each end. You use the loops to ease out black and white heads without damaging your skin.

If you know me at all, you know that thing was MINE. I could not resist the temptation. Popping zits is the grossest thing ever, but I just can’t stop. And now I have a fancy tool! I gave it a test run and it worked really well. Whoo-hoo! Forget about New Year’s resolutions when there is zit popping involved!

Elsa’s schedule has been really off, so she didn’t get a nap today. It made for a nightmare afternoon, which was enhanced with Erik’s cries about how much he hates school and is never going back. I’m going to miss these days someday, but it’s hard to imagine that when I’m in the thick of it.

My life suddenly improved about 1000x yesterday. I did some Googling and found a way to find my product key for my Publisher disk! I now have Publisher installed on my laptop, which means I can get my monthly newsletter done on my time. You have no idea how wonderful this is. With my bad back, I can barely stand to sit at the desktop computer. The chair immediately sends shooting pains up my back. Plus, every time I go over there, the kids start acting crazy and want to be on top of me. It has made this newsletter the bane of my existence. Now! Now I can do it in my comfy chair! The kids are used to me messing with the laptop so don’t seem to have the same urge to be on top of me when I’m using it.

Of course, I still need to send my laptop in to get a new keyboard. I’m missing the efdr and u keys thanks to Elsa’s exploration. It’s usable, but just barely.

Ah well, guess I better stop ruminating and go to bed. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be almost as challenging as today. When I was a teacher we had a saying “One day off, one off day; one week off; one off week.” I thought it was bad as a teacher–it’s way worse as a parent. Yikes!

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Happy 2012!

I’m glad to ring in 2012! It feels like a fresh start. The second half of 2011 was pretty good, so I’m hoping we’ll continue in an upward trend and life will keep improving. I remember 2009 as one of the worst years ever (except for getting pregnant) and 2010 wasn’t much better. Mainly it was health issues–first mine, then Elsa’s–so hopefully all that is behind us. Amazing how a bout of pneumonia can knock you on your ass for ages.

I think I had some goals for 2011, but I’m not sure what they were. I know I was not supposed to buy anything new in January (success) and I was supposed to work on our yearly photo book at the end of each month (major, major fail).

I’m doing the buy nothing new thing again this January, but I already failed yesterday by buying a book for my Kindle. I totally wasn’t thinking. We’ll have a re-boot today. Nothing new! But food and consumables, of course. I’m not going to wash out ziplock bags and run my foil through the dishwasher.

I also had an idea that I think will significantly improve my happiness levels: committing to a monthly date with my husband. We always say we are going to go on a date, but it never happens. We didn’t have a sitter and finding one was a daunting prospect. It’s not like when I was a babysitter. Who on earth would just leave their precious child with some random teenager they don’t even know? The mind boggles.

I found a responsible adult sitter, so we have no excuse. For $15/hour we’ll be planning pretty low-cost dates, that’s for sure! But even a walk around a lake finished with an ice cream cone will be well worth the alone time.

I’d also like to make a goal to get rid of the bags under my eyes.

Two problems:
Elsa is not a great sleeper. She’s not a terrible sleeper. She’ll wake up, nurse and go back to sleep. We don’t have to get up and play in middle of the night. But she wakes up. I want to get her weaned and in her own bed sooner rather than later, but that’s hard to do when I refuse to let her cry it out. I’m my own worst enemy, but I seriously can not stand the sound of my children crying. I guess it’s primal? I don’t know, but crying it out just doesn’t work for me.

I am allergic to everything, thus I can’t find any sort of wrinkle/eye cream that doesn’t leave me looking and feeling even worse.

I want to go to a cosmetic dermatologist, but I don’t even know what to ask for. And I’m sure our budget doesn’t really pander to my vanity.

I hate knowing that I’m just going to get uglier and uglier every year, until I finally die.

Aren’t I damn cheerful?

Happy 2012! Ha!

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