The Queen's Rambles

I want a Jenny Special from Maria’s of Keno. This will mean nothing to any of you. Maria’s was a little Mexican restaurant that I worked in during high school. They went out of business over 15 years ago, so it’s been a long time since I’ve had my comfort food. I can make most of it myself, but the Jenny Special is elusive. It’s special beef and potato mixture, rolled up in a flour tortilla, deep fried, then smothered with enchilada sauce and Bud’s award winning chili. Don’t forget the cheese and sour cream!

My mouth is watering.

And I’ll never be able to have it again.

I know there are worse problems in the world.

I’ve totally been off-diet since Hurricane Sandy and I’m pissed at myself. I don’t know what I need to do to convince my fingers to stop shoveling sugar into my mouth. Cut my tongue out? I don’t know. I like being thinner. Why do I sabotage myself? Yadda yadda yadda. Same song, hit repeat for 30 years.

I want to buy tickets for a Broadway show and escape to NYC for an overnight hotel visit. My mom could stay with the kids. I am kind of desperate to do this, all of a sudden, after a life time of never realizing that I, a podunk from Podunk-ville, could attend a Broadway play. NYC is not that far away! We could do it! There might even be food in NYC that rivals a deep fried chili burrito!

I need to talk to Mike and my mom about this plan. My fear is that I would spend a small fortune on tickets, only to have my mom jet back home to rescue the kids from my sister. Of course the kids’ safety takes precedent, but it is irritating that I can’t make an awesome plan. Mike is probably relieved that I can’t melt the plastic.

I should see if I can find a show in DC. There’s gotta be something remotely Broadway-esque, right?

I just looked up Broadway shows in NYC and found the Rockettes Christmas show. How awesome would that be? Maybe when Elsa is older we can go to that as a big family fun thing. I have a feeling the money man might not agree. I think these tickets are more expensive than a trip to Disneyland! Or maybe not. I have no idea how much a trip to Disneyland costs. It’s like, twenty bucks, right? Hahaha.

I don’t even want to go to Disneyland. I want to go to Hogwarts. Isn’t there some Hogwarts theme park somewhere? When will Elsa be old enough to go? I need a little win-gardium leviousa in my life.

And now I need to go take care of laundry and make Erik decorate a turkey. He is going to flip the eff out when he sees his turkey paper. Elsa scribbled alllllllllll over it. I’m going to break the news to him first and try to convince him that we can cover the turkey in fabric. It will represent our family! And be really cool! It will be the best! YOU’LL WIN!!!! Please no break down, child. I can’t handle another breakdown. We already had one when he came in the door and I wouldn’t give him an ice cream sundae. Apparently he is entitled to an ice cream sundae whenever the fancy strikes without so much as a pretty please with sugar on top? Do I look like a scoop girl at Baskin-Robbins? I’m not nearly as cute and perky.

So what am I going to cook for dinner? I have no idea. I was supposed to crock pot a pork roast, but it’s 4:30 and it didn’t happen. I suppose if I knew how to make a roast in the oven instead of a crock pot I could still cook it, but I have never made a roast in the oven. Maybe my trusty red checkered cookbook would give me the lowdown on proper roast cooking. Problem: it was supposed to be some dumb weight watchers recipe so I don’t even have anything good to go with it.

Woe is me. Yadda yadda yadda.

I’ve gotta get this turkey and pork taken care of. Over and out.