The Queen's Rambles

*Elsa is not feeling well. She has a cough that is about ready to send me into orbit (I feel bad that I just want to yell “Quit it with the coughing! QUIT QUIT QUIT!!!!” and I don’t actually yell it, but it is insane making). Then, this morning, she was crying when she had to pee so I took a look at her vagina and it was really gross up in there. Was it regular diaper rash? Yeast? What? I have no idea so I decided I needed a professional opinion.

We couldn’t get an appointment until 4:45, which meant I had to take Erik with us. We didn’t get called back into the room until almost 5:30. At least the doctor saw us the moment we stepped into the exam room. She was the doctor who clicked a wrong box on Elsa’s chart when Elsa had Lyme’s disease, accidently giving her a dose of antibiotics that did not knock out the infection. Thankfully her symptoms reappeared immediately and we were referred to an infectious disease specialist who figured out the problem. As soon as the doctor walked in she said “Elsa! I’m so glad to see you! I think about you every day!” She then told me that there are moments in your life when you make such a bad error that you think about it every single day and that she recalls that mistake every day when she prescribes amoxycyllin.

Obviously I am not happy she made the mistake, but it is really nice to hear that she didn’t view it as a throw-away mistake. She learned from it and thinks about it.

They wanted to get a urine sample from Elsa and I told them I didn’t think that would be possible. The girl has the biggest bladder you’ve ever heard of. In the mornings she doesn’t usually pee until she’s been up about an hour. That’s over 12 hours of holding it in. Sometimes I think she’s going to overflow her little potty. No way was I going to get her to pee on demand.

The point was moot since I couldn’t even get her to sit on the toilet, much less try to get her to squeeze something out. She was kicking, screaming, running. . . it was a mess.

Finally the doctor knocked on the door and said I should take home a couple of cups and we would start with topical treatment.

I was supposed to give her a baking soda bath tonight, but I couldn’t get her to sit down in the tub. She usually loves taking a bath and she thought it was fun to put the baking soda into the water and stir it around, but she completely freaked when it was time to sit. She was like a cat, clinging to the side.

All that yelling and fit throwing wore her out, so I was able to get her down super early, thank goodness. I was just about d-o-n-e with her today. Between the coughing, the refusal to cooperate, and our food fights (oh yes, you can bet your booty we’ve had horrendous food fights today) I am beyond exhausted.

*Did I mention that Mike is out of town all week? He always says that he’d prefer to be here at home with us, but how can that be true? He’s out in Arizona eating Mexican food and talking to the fancy space people. That sounds more fun than dealing with a screaming girl who won’t give you a urine sample.

*I told Erik he was not allowed to watch Elsa’s medical exam, but when the doctor got her in position he ran up and looked for a brief second. When we got home he refused to eat his dinner because he said it was all he could think about and it was the grossest thing he’d ever seen, so how could he possibly eat? I just don’t even know what to say or do in this parenting situation so I pretty much ignored it.

Later he asked if he could make himself a grilled cheese sandwich, which irritated me since I had already cooked dinner. I told him if he could cook it all by himself he could have one. I kept an eye on things, but he did it all himself. He gets more and more independent every day! Yesterday he made cookies almost entirely by himself from a recipe he found in a book Elsa got for her birthday.

*We had a fondue night with friends on Saturday. I think my friends were taken aback when Erik asked if he could cook the fondue, so I handed him the spoon and let him stir. Irish Lad wanted to help, so I let him put the cheese into the pot. He was very proud of himself. I don’t think he’s ever had a chance to do something like that.

Later that evening Erik wanted to cut himself another slice of french bread, so I asked the husband if he could hand Erik the bread knife since it was too high for Erik to reach. Both he and my friend had their eyes pop out of their heads and they told me they don’t allow their children to play with knives. He ended up cutting Erik’s slice, much to Erik’s annoyance.

*The fondue night was my last hurrah. I started Weight Watchers again in earnest yesterday. I know it works, but it is just so fucking boring. I hate biology.

*Remember when I popped the bible bump on my wrist? It’s back and I can’t seem to pop it. I guess I’ll need to see a doctor about it, but I am not going back to my primary care provider until I drop 20 pounds.

*Elsa just had her nightly 11 pm wake-up, so I guess it’s time for me to get to bed. I was able to get her down in her own bed, so I am crossing my fingers that I will be able to sleep alone most of the night. I don’t usually deal with her bedtime, so I had no idea she prefers to use the baby quilt I made for her while I was pregnant. I need to make her a new quilt. She is way to big for such a little square.

*I am down to the dregs on my DVR. I didn’t even watch anything tonight. Tomorrow I think I’m going to watch an episode of Chuck. Yes, the show has been off the air for over two years. Yes, I still have the last three episodes on my DVR, unwatched.