Stuff and Things
I made a Weight Watchers friendly potato soup tonight. I was scared it would be terrible because my amazing potato soup recipe is so full of fat that it makes me sick (I haven’t made it in years) and this new recipe is pretty low in fat. Surprise, surprise! It was delicious! It was waaaaaay better than the fatty recipe–no one felt sick or guilty afterwards. Even Erik semi-enjoyed it.
He actually ate potatoes for the first time ever last night (not counting french fries). In the past he has claimed to hate all potatoes, so I was shocked when he scarfed them all down and said they were the most delicious things he ever ate (they were just roasted with a little olive oil and ranch dressing powder).
It was my mom’s birthday today so I talked to her for quite awhile on the phone. I haven’t talked to her for more than five minutes in a very long time. I just can’t handle her drama and dysfunction. I used to feel so sorry for her and so guilty that I wasn’t helping her have a better life, but I’ve given up on that. Now she just pisses me off. Why can’t she ever make a good choice? In 64 years of living I don’t know if she’s ever made a single good choice. Her excuse is always the same–“I didn’t know people wouldn’t do what they say they will do!” Really? Seriously? Of course people don’t do what they say they are going to do. People suck. Sadly, there are very, very few responsible people in the world.
She sold her house a few months ago with the idea that she was going to move into my grandma’s old house. Problem? That house had tenants–her “friends” (though I use that term loosely since it was really just my dad’s old drinking buddy). They’ve been living in my grandma’s house for four years. My mom had never did a single inspection in that time and they basically destroyed the house by living in filth.
So guess what? Since they were her “friends” she didn’t give them written notice, just verbal notice. If you have been reading long, you may remember that my mom obsessively watches all those awful judge shows. What on earth was she thinking?
Of course they did not move out. My mom lived like a homeless person for about three months. She holed up in my dad’s alcoholic best friend’s shop building which had a cot and a mini-fridge. Sounds like luxury! I hated to think of my mom living like that, but if she’d just used a single modicum of good sense it never would have happened.
She’s now in my grandma’s house and doing repair work. She also bought two puppies. She bought small dogs so they can travel on the plane with her when she comes to see us. Ummmmm. No. Just no. We don’t have room for dogs, even small dogs. And I know exactly how she goes about picking up dog shit when she takes her dogs on walks. She doesn’t. We’ll end up with all the neighbors hating us and a huge dog poop fine!
****Trigger Warning for neglect/abuse*******
As for my sister, I don’t even want to think about her poor children. A few weeks ago Erik was talking about his cousins and said “Mom, I’m so glad you’re my mom and not Aunt Lexie.” I started crying (we were in the car so he couldn’t see me and it wasn’t loud sobs or anything like that). No child deserves the life those poor kids have been given. I don’t understand how they haven’t been taken away yet. Oregon is very much a mother’s rights state from what I understand, so unless someone presents hard evidence of complete abuse they won’t do anything. Missing school? Who cares! Lice for months? Who cares! Sleeping on the floor because the feral cats in the house kept pooping under the bed so she got rid of the beds? She’s their mom, of course it’s ok! Mother knows best!
The oldest boy is living with his dad in a trailer park and the youngest boy generally stays with my mom. The daughter is usually with my sister and I imagine she is being sexually abused. I think both she and the oldest boy have probably been molested. I have no proof. I haven’t even seen them in 2 years. Just a gut feeling.
I’ve always said I wanted to get the kids and take care of them, but at this point my sister is still kicking, the dad is still in the picture and they kids are getting older. How could I possibly bring a sexually abused tween into my family? I have my own children to consider. I don’t think it will ever come to that point, but I sure do wish I could have got them all when they were babies and raised them in a normal, loving family. It is so hard to think about them and what they are going through. I am just glad I don’t know the specifics because every time I hear the specifics it makes me come unhinged and cry and plot and plan, but there is not a thing I can do other than call CPS and have CPS tell me that unless I present hard evidence there is nothing they can do other than keep an eye on things.
My niece has had lice for months. Isn’t that a sign of neglect? It’s hard to get rid of lice when you live in a hovel.
I don’t know how my sister can live with herself.
Supposedly my mom is done giving my sister money and now my sister is panicked because her lights and gas are being shut off. I’ll believe it when I see it. How many times have we heard this song and dance? I no longer have any sympathy for my mom’s financial situation. She has chosen to blow her money on someone who will never change. Someone completely incapable of change. I understand it is hard to watch your child and grandchild suffer, but better a little suffering up front than creating a monster.
If only family members could have a mentally ill adult committed against their wishes. My sister has so many mental issues that she needs to finish out her life in an asylum. She could paint and put together puzzles. I don’t know. She’s got one foot in the grave, but death by drugs and alcohol can be a low, slow process.
*****End Trigger Stuff*******
Ok, enough of the doom and gloom.
I made a mistake.
I stopped shopping at Zulily months ago b/c I was having more misses than hits. And the misses were really, really bad.
Somehow I forgot all of that and ordered a few purple things for Elsa.
Dumb, dumb, dumb.
I got two of the items today and they are horrid. First up is a brown fleece coat that looked adorable on the site, but in reality makes Elsa look like she stole Ron Weasley’s dress robes.
It’s not musty and moldy, but I started laughing the second she put it on because all I could think of was Ron Weasly going to the ball. On closer examination, it is actually more of a Snape cut. I’ll have to take a picture tomorrow if she’ll let me and you can be the judge.
The other thing is a fall shirt/jean combo. Only the shirt is some horrific see through, scratchy material and the pants seem to be made out of some kind of fake silk.
No more Zulily for me. They make things look so cute on the site, but so many of the items I’ve received have been completely sub-part. I wouldn’t pay 5 cents for the shirt/pants combo thing. Ugh.
I was thinking today that I never really feel the need to write here anymore and tried to figure out why. I’ve got it! Aside from being busy, I have two really true and authentic friends that I love. We hang out a lot and decompress with each other. We all work well together and have created some pretty tight bonds. The funny thing is that between the three of us we have six children–which means three perfect pairs age wise! One of them is having a baby any day now, which makes me want another baby so we can have another set of twinkle friends. Not going to happen, but I will be really sad when Elsa is in Kindy and I don’t have an excuse to hang around being a SAHM anymore. I really love my life right now, even if the kids do step on my last nerve by the end of every day. If I hear “I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry!” one more time, I may stuff a blackberry bar some place unspeakable. And the crying. Ugh. Elsa cries over every little thing and I can’t take it. I really need to go and read a book or something and re-set my expectations. I have no patience for little games to make her happy. JUST STOP CRYING, CHILD!
So yes. Friends! I haz them! I like them! What a difference it makes to my happiness. I have some true, authentic online friends and would love to spend real life time with them, but nothing beats a local friend for happiness levels.
Oh! And I had an amazing compliment yesterday. One of the teachers came up to me and asked if I was a professional public speaker because of my speech at the Back to School Nights. I have to say, that felt pretty damn awesome. I am so glad I am no longer the scared, shy wallflower I used to be.