Yes, I want lice. . . not
I haven’t been back to my hometown since my dad died in June of 2011. I don’t intend to ever go back. It’s sad in a way, but there is nothing there but crazy people, alcoholics, drama and filth.
My mom doesn’t realize that my intentions to stay away are 100% set in stone. She hasn’t asked me to visit for quite a while, but yesterday she started telling me about how much it would mean to her if I could come and see the renovations she’s done on grandma’s house (she’s living there now). She even offered to pay airfare for the kids, if I would bring them out to see their cousins.
She thinks I am overreacting when I say that I will not have my children around an active drug addict. “But she hasn’t done any drugs all week! I don’t think. Well, I haven’t seen her in a couple of days but she’s probably doing good right now! She’s harmless!”
Yeah, mom. Talk to me when she’s been sober for a year, not a freakin’ week. Anybody can be sober for a week.
My niece has had lice on and off for months, which is another reason I refuse to go. Not the big reason, but big enough. I do not need to deal with lice if it can be avoided “it’s not like she’s going to rub heads with you! Just don’t sleep with her and you’ll all be fine!” As if a three year old is not going to be crawling all over her older girl cousin and playing dress up with her things.
Every single time we go there we get sick. The last time we all got strep throat. I know it’s because she doesn’t clean properly. I refuse to eat anything she cooks because she has no idea about food safety and doesn’t see the problem with leaving food on the counters overnight. My sister has/had MRSA, so I’m really not wanting to take my kids around someone dripping with bacteria.
It was a very brief conversation. I’ve learned to cut conversation short when I don’t like the topic, trying to train her that if she wants a long chat she’ll avoid topics that aren’t up for discussion. I’m not visiting her. End of story. She may think it is perfectly normally to live as a hostage to an addict’s insanity, but I refuse to expose myself or my children to the lifestyle. It was a big fail on my part to take Erik back there so many times when he was little. I should have sought counseling for my family issues when I was much younger–it would have made me a much stronger person, much sooner. I think I’m in a good place now, but it has taken a lot of soul searching and crushing epiphanies to realize my family, even my mother, are not good for me and never really cared that much about me. I’m the scapegoat and don’t need to subject myself to that role.
Let’s talk about happy things! We are having school tomorrow! We will be hit with the polar vortex down here in DC, but temps will only get to around 0F, which isn’t that bad at all (says the woman who lived above the arctic circle for 3 years). I do worry about the kids who have to wait for the bus or walk to school since so many people don’t have proper winter gear, but I am betting a lot of parents will be holding their kids home from school if they have too far to walk or too long to wait. Erik will only have to be out in the air a couple of minutes since he doesn’t leave the house until the bus barrels by. It does a turn around at the end of our cul-de-sac and we have 22 children who board the bus, so he has plenty of time to get down there after we see it pass by.
My nerves have been completely shot by this winter break. I have always had certain sensory issues, especially with noises, and having an 8 year old boy doesn’t help. There is constant noise. Light sabers buzz, he talks non-stop, he questions everything or tells me things that are just completely uninteresting to an adult, he batters balloons, tries to whistle, runs cars around the house, finds every toy in the house that beeps, and on and on and on. By Saturday I was literally sitting at the table with my hands over my ears, crying. Too much input! He’s a wonderful kid and I’m so glad he is who he is, with his insatiable curiosity and ability to stand up for himself. But Stop. With. The Noise! Mama can’t take it.
You’d think Elsa would be the loud one, and she certainly is not an innocent in the noise making game when Erik is around. He makes her scream all the time, which sets everyone’s nerves on edge. Or, my least favorite thing ever, she refuses to talk and only barks, growls, grunts and otherwise becomes his pet wolf. I swear people at the open gym the other day probably thought she was developmentally delayed because she refused to speak and kept whining and growling. However, in general she is able to sit and play quietly by herself for a good chunk of time and she doesn’t have to be in my face, constantly asking questions and telling me things. That made today a good day, with MisterE off at school. When I realized he might be home tomorrow, I almost had a fit of vapors just like the old timey ladies. I don’t know how I would ever home school this child.
And now. . . off to bed! Morning is going to come way too soon around these parts.