Hell on Earth
If hell is anything like the Maryland Motor Vehicles Administration office, I better start saying my prayers right now. Not that I believe in hell. But I spent three and a half hours there and would like to avoid it at all costs in the future.
When we paid off our car we got a not-title in the mail, instructing us to take it to the MVA and trade it for a real title. Of course, knowing the hell that is the MVA we’ve put it off for. . .ohhhhh. . . a year.
Obviously we couldn’t put it off any longer since we traded the car in yesterday, so Erik and I got up early, packed a big bag full of kid crap and lunch and were at the MVA the minute the doors opened this morning.
Seriously, I hate this place.
First, we had to stand in the vetting line for over an hour and a half. They have two people working who look at your paperwork, tell you if you need anything else, and finally give you a number so you can go sit.
HOUR and a HALF! In line. With a four year old. With a giant bag o’crap.
My only saving grace was the lady behind me who had a 2 year old in a stroller. Erik and the baby kept each other pretty well entertained, though it was still a lot to ask of Erik to stand in that line and be good. He is having a major constipation problem right now so kept announcing “I had a really stinky fart!” to the general population. He also announced “My wiener is attached! Fix my wiener! It’s getting big!” As if I even know what that means. Isn’t it supposed to be attached? At least he amused everyone in line.
I finally got to the front of the line and learned that I had to have Mike’s signature. The only good thing was that they gave me a yellow ticket so I could go back today and not wait in the vetting line again.
Mike was down in downtown DC. Erik had preschool at noon. There was no practical way to work this out and I never carry my damn cell phone because it doesn’t work anyway (though I just ordered a new one tonight and should get it tomorrow!).
I finally got ahold of Mike and made a plan. He was only downtown for a short time, so after I dropped Erik off at preschool I ran down to Mike’s office, then back up to the MVA. Mike held out hope that I would be able to pick Erik up from school, but the plan was for Mike to leave work early to get him.
Guess who won that bet?
I sat in that stinking, hot, horrible office for over two hours. I was so hot that I had to go outside a couple of times. I thought I was going to have the baby right there on the metal benches. It was so hot that I started having irregular contractions, but there was no way I was leaving! I could be crowning, but I was damn well not going to lose my place in line.
At least I didn’t have Erik with me. That would have turned an annoying situation into a nightmare.
Once I made it to the front, the lady did her thing but informed me that I shouldn’t change my address.
Me: But that’s my new address.
Her: But it costs $50.
Me: But that’s my address.
Her: You don’t need to change it.
Finally I told her not to change it if she promised I wouldn’t get in trouble. I’m glad to save the money, but it was pretty weird to be told to lie after I just signed a statement saying I was telling the truth.
When I got home I went down to the basement and laid on the cool, comfy couch with a big glass of ice water for a couple of hours. I was actually getting fairly concerned about things, but resting and water solved my problem.
In other news, Erik is lucky I didn’t beat him. I’ve ordered a ton of stuff for the baby online. I’ve picked up a couple of small items in the store, but I generally find online shopping is easier, cheaper and more efficient. Erik is getting pretty tired of the baby getting all these packages, though he has been getting a few packages too.
Today we got a couple of one-size Rump a Rooz diapers, which are supposed to be good for newborns through potty training. Erik wanted to try them on, which was weird, but whatever. I didn’t have the patience for it, but Mike managed to snap one on him. I even took pictures, but I’m just not comfortable sharing them on the world wide web where anyone can see.
Anyway, I kept telling him he better not pee in the diaper, so what do you think he did? He peed! In my brand new diaper! Which. . well. . yeah, it was a diaper, but gross! I wanted to wait to prewash all the diapers after they all arrived, but now that one will have to be washed ASAP. I don’t even have the proper detergent to wash it with. Luckily it was just the pocket and none of the inserts.
I’m really hoping tomorrow is a more relaxing day, but Erik and I have dental appointments in the morning so I’m not counting on it. Poor kid has been doing an awful lot of errands with me lately. I need to be more patient with him, but it’s so hard.
I just really, really hope that all the stuff we’ve been giving him for his little constipation problem doesn’t catch up with him while we’re at the dentist. The last time this happened, about a year ago, the day after we gave him prune juice and all that he had a huge problem all over himself and his pants and everywhere. We weren’t at home, but luckily we were at our friend’s house so we were able to their shower and a set of clothes. It would certainly not be that handy to have it happen at the dentist office. Ugh.