The Queen's Rambles

Friends. Dear, dear, sweet internet friends. I promised myself that I was not going to bore you to death with pregnancy updates. I did that once and that was my pregnancy post allowance, right? But my life is a puking shambles. It’s all I can do or think about.

I thought I had bad morning sickness with Erik, but I didn’t know what morning sickness was. Yes, I felt queasy all the time. Yes, I puked almost every morning and night when I brushed my teeth. Yes, I was miserable.

But no, I didn’t have the full ass kicking morning sickness that I have now.

I open the garbage can to throw something away and must rush to the bathroom to puke until I run out of bile. I sniff garlic and (see above scenario). The puking while brushing my teeth is just a given and barely registers on the radar any more. It is just two or three pukes, usually not all the way down to bile.

Pregnancy may be the best weight lost plan ever, just behind nursing!

Bright side of life, eh?

There is a bright side. Did I ever mention that all the genetic prenatal testing came back normal? So glad I don’t have to go through an amnio!

In addition to this naughty baby causing me to puke my guts out several times a day, I have a silly four year old who needs a lot of care.

Today was his four year check-up, an event I was dreading. He didn’t act scared of shots, and was in fact telling me he was looking forward to them, but he didn’t know what a shot was. Four shots. One hysterical kid. One mommy. Three nurses holding him down. It was fun. Ha.

At least they do the examine first. He was ok with that and thought the eye exam was particularly cool. They used a shape chart instead of a letter chart because they didn’t know he knows all his letters, I guess. He shocked them (and me) when he knew the plus sign. All that tv watching teaches him something, I guess.

I was really surprised when they had me collect a urine sample from him. I was so glad he was a boy, since it was just a matter of talking him into putting his penis in the cup. He was very unhappy with that idea and thought it was crazy, but eventually he did it.

I was also told that he needs to drink at least 8 ounces of milk a day and that yogurt and cheese don’t count. The doctor gave me suggestions about how to trick him into it, but after talking to him for a little bit she told me she didn’t think I would be able to trick him and I would probably just have to make him sit at the table until he drank it. He didn’t fall for any of her little kid tricks, which seemed to take her by surprise.

All was well until the doctor had me hold his upper body while she took his legs and tried to examine his stomach. He started screaming that he didn’t have a baby in his tummy and she couldn’t touch him. Then he kicked her several times.

Ah, my pride and joy.

Poor kid. I know it was traumatic for him to have her poking and prodding and looking in his underwear. He seems unaffected, though, and was back to his old self at the playground this afternoon.

Thank dog he has preschool tomorrow. It has been a loooooong day around here.

His regular teacher is out this week and I fear the sub can’t control him. The regular teacher is able to keep the kids under control from what little I’ve seen. When I picked him up from school on Monday I was a little bit early so was able to watch the sub bring them down from the playground.

She told them to go to the water pipe and wait for her. Several kids booked it down the hill, including Erik. They got to the water pipe and were messing around with it, when Erik suddenly yells, “Hey guys! Let’s go!” He took off running and the whole class followed him. They made it to the door of the school, when the secretary found them and stopped them. They were never in any danger. I was standing there watching, as were about five other parents. We were all trying really hard not to laugh our asses off. I suppose I should have had a word with my dear son, but I figured the teachers were still on the clock so it was their job to take care of it.

I don’t even believe in prayer, but someone better say a prayer for me. I think we are going to have problems when this kid hits his teen years. Yikes!