Bits and Pieces
*We have new neighbors! I was really worried about what kind of tenants might move in right across the gap from us (we are an end unit townhouse that faces to the side, so basically there is a small patch of dirt/trees between us). The last people were nice and I can’t complain, but they were total rednecks who drank and smoked all the time. It could have been a lot worse, which was my fear. I am beyond thrilled to see a young, professional couple move in! They have nice cars and dress well. They are the type of people you want as neighbors. Hopefully Erik won’t annoy them too much.
*Speaking of Erik, I forgot to mention the “sink into the earth” move he made at the portrait studio. He did not want to wear the outfit I had picked out. As in, I could have skinned him alive and he wouldn’t have cared. Not. Gonna. Happen.
As all you parents know, parenting is about who can lie and manipulate the best. My mom and I started telling him how handsome the shirt made him and really playing it up. The boy has a vain streak a mile wide. He can barely focus on karate because he stands in front of the mirror and stares at himself all class. I guess it’s common? Maybe? At any rate, let’s just say he has a healthy sense of self.
At the studio he was walking up to people and telling them he was handsome. Then he walked up to two boys and told them “I’m more handsome than you!” I wanted to die on the spot. The mother glared at me and I grabbed him and told him that the boys were very handsome, but they had their handsome clothes on under their coats.
We’ve been having lots of discussions about bragging the last couple of days. I’m glad he loves himself, but he needs to tone it down in public.
*My mom. Oh my dear mom. I don’t know about her. She is such an enabler with my sister, my BIL and my father. She claims she hates what they do and just wants out of it, but then they call her and she gives them money/her social security number (I about died)/use of her vehicle/whatever they ask for. She says she is stuck in a bad situation, but I don’t see it. It is a bad situation, but she’s been “stuck” in it for the past 36 years. In all that time she hasn’t been able to come up with a solution?
I just finished reading Backseat Saints by Joshilyn Jackson which gave me a lot of food for thought. I didn’t necessarily like the book. It was about an abused wife who finally has enough and leaves her husband. I don’t like books about people who allow themselves to be victims. It was interesting, though, because it was obvious that the main character was getting something out of the abuse. It thrilled her. I suppose my mother must be getting something out of being the savior and door mat for the other people in my family. I can’t wrap my head around it because I don’t have that–whatever that is–in my personality. I won’t allow myself to be used and abused. Why would that be fun?
I used to worry about my mom so much (and I still do in some ways), but a very wise person (julival, I’m looking at you) told me to stop trying to solve her problems and stop feeling so sorry for her because she has choices. After digesting that and really looking around I know it’s true. She DOES have choices and she constantly chooses to be an enabler.
I do feel really, really bad for my niece and nephews. I wish I could rescue them but I don’t know how. But the rest of them? My mom needs to step back and let my sister figure it out or else initiate proceedings to get custody of the kids. My sister is 33 years old! My BIL is 45! They should be able to function without my mommy buying them vehicles and paying all the bills.
Ok, rant over. I have to do something about a very sleepy baby.