The Queen's Rambles

Amazing! I’m a posting machine!

I just had to follow-up with that doom and gloom post. Today has been a much, much better day.

Two things made a huge difference.

1) Mike is a wonderful husband and father and took it upon himself to find a solution to my problem of Elsa napping vs. Erik being in my face all the time. Though he is not able to do this every day, or even most days, today he came home from work during lunch and put Elsa down for a nap while I picked Erik up from camp. When Mike puts her down he can get her to sleep in the bed. When I put her down she just wants to suck on my boob, which is not helpful. I guess I have to wean her.

2) I went to the gym. Elsa is finally snot free so the childcare will take her. I know I need those endorphins. I always feel better when I go, so I must remember to work that into my routine. Let’s all knock on wood that Elsa stays healthy.

I am seriously thinking that I need to see a doctor about taking some meds. I don’t like being in a rage all the time. I don’t think it’s normal and I think my reactions are disproportionate to what’s going on. I can not STAND outright defiance. I’ve never been able to stand it (which made teaching a horrible experience). I think it reminds me of my sister or something. I don’t know, but I need to get a handle on this rage. I’m scared to death of going on meds because I’ve heard so many horror stories about the side effects. I do not need more insomnia. I do not need to gain more weight. I do not need to lose my sex drive (or maybe I do, not like there is time for hanky-panky right now). Maybe I’ll keep exercising this week and see how I feel about things and go from there.

Example of my rage this afternoon: Remember the little boy at karate who asked me why I was so fat? Remember how I was patient with him even though it hurt my feelings?

He asked me that again today. Can you even believe that? I think the lady he is with might be a nanny and not a mother. Anyway, instead of being patient with him, I snapped “You are a very rude little boy!” and then I stomped off and stuck Elsa in her car seat and went grocery shopping.

I was sort of expecting the mom/nanny to make him apologize when we came back, but she looked right at me as if I didn’t exist. I hope it’s a nanny because that’s some piss-poor parenting.

If he asks again would it be wrong to ask him why he’s so ugly? He’s actually really cute, so it wouldn’t even be true. Of course I would never say that to a little kid, even if I was thinking it.

For something completely different: I started watching the pilot of “Falling Skies” yesterday. I was watching OnDemand and accidentally stopped it. Stupid Fios gives you the option of “resume play” but I have never once had it actually work. I was an hour into the show and Fios doesn’t let you fast forward through OnDemand shows so I was pretty much screwed. I found a listing for it that I will record, but not for a few days. I don’t know if I will continue watching or not. Alien invasion stories give me nightmares. This one is especially bad since the aliens kidnap children and put a big parasite on them to control them. I keep crying when I think of Erik enslaved by aliens.

Yeah, maybe I need some meds.

I was excited to watch “Outcasts” on BBC America, but then read that it was a cancelled series with a cliffhanger ending so I am not even going to subject myself to that pain (assuming I would have liked it). I don’t have as much time to watch TV now that Elsa is napping in the bed. I have work I can get done, so can’t really excuse sitting in a chair and vegetating for a couple of hours.

Oh! And thank you for the suggestions of wearing a hat to combat the buggies. I hate hats, but will see if I can find my visor. I should be wearing it in the sun anyway. If not, I have discovered that taking a thin coloring book and using it as a fan shoos the bugs away. They are so small that they can’t withstand the wind, though it is a pain to stand there fanning myself all the live long day.

Now, does anyone know what to do about Elsa’s hair? It gets gross looking (split ends/fly-away) in the back so I’ve been putting a little bit of adult conditioner on it after I shower her and just leaving it in. It looks a lot better. Do you think that’s ok or is that some kind of baby no-no. I have also used detangling spray, but a dab of the regular conditioner seems to work better.

And now I’m going to go eat fruit in cobbler form. I’m trying to ingest more fruits and veggies. I know cobbler form is not ideal, but who can resist blackberries, raspberries, strawberries and cinnamon in a gooey crust?