The Queen's Rambles

Day 5 – What would you prefer to do on your birthday?

Read more: 31 Days of Blog Juice at Creating Motherhood Summer Camp

How sad is it that I don’t even know? We are not big celebrators around here. Does that mean our life is so fabulous on a regular basis that we don’t have to do anything special on special days? Ha.

For several years, I vowed not to eat any processed sugar from Jan. 1 until my birthday (March 26), so I would spend 3 months planning the type of birthday cake I would make. Eventually I realized that no cake I could bake could compare to some of the cakes I can buy, so lately I’ve just been buying a triple chocolate mousse cake from Safeway. I’m a good baker, but cakes are not my forte. The last two years I didn’t do my no sugar thing, so thinking about birthday cake didn’t take up such a huge part of my thought process.

One year we went to a big quilt show in Lancaster County and that was really awesome. Mike took Erik and I got to go hang out with all the old ladies (and a few young ones). I spent way too much money on fabric that is mostly still sitting up in my craft room, but I had a wonderful time. Plus, Amish fried chicken! Who can beat that?

I guess what I would really prefer to do is open a box with a big, shiny ring. I love shiny things. But they need to be big shiny things because I have big man hands. Jerry Seinfeld would not approve.

In completely unrelated business: ugh. Why am I MOMS Club president? Just because I am bossy and like to make things happen? I need to learn to go with the flow and let other people do things. I have been president for a month and I’m already tired of it. I knew better, but I felt like I was the best candidate. Humble, much?

We have our business meeting tomorrow, but everyone is out of town. There might be two of us. I would cancel it, but we need to use our free room or the bank will give our slot to someone else. I found a fun sounding craft in an old Family Fun magazine, but decided I better test it out first. Good thing I did because it was a major fail. I need to come up with a plan in the next 12 hours.

I just hope I get some sleep tonight. Elsa was snorting and kicking and being a general pain all night. Why are we co-sleeping, again? I hear about these babies that sleep in cribs, but I am not sure how to accomplish the goal. I’ve heard that you put them down in the crib either awake or asleep and they lay there and sleep. I put my kid in a crib, either awake or asleep, and they stand up with a look of terror and scream for a solid hour. I can’t handle baby screaming. She’ll be out of our bed eventually. I know this. Deep breaths.

Also, I was having stupid freakin’ nightmares about stupid, dumb skitters and Dr. Carter and the rest of the plot from “Falling Skies.” Anyone else watching this show? If not, don’t start. It is terrible. Really, really terrible. It had promise at first, but four episodes in and I’m rooting for the aliens. Our band of survivors are too stupid to live.

I know I would probably be killed in the first wave of attacks if there was a true alien invasion. I’m not very fast and I don’t have any survival skills. However, if I managed to survive and join a band of rebels I would hope I would be smart enough to not store an alien prisoner of war right in middle of our camp. And I sure as hell wouldn’t be sticking my arm in the cage.

And out of 300 people, the only person who knows how to bake a loaf of bread is a racist ex-con? Seriously? They are staying in a high school. The library doesn’t have any cookbooks?

The show is ridiculous. I think it is getting booted from the DVR, much like “The Killing” was booted. From what I understand, “The Killing” didn’t even reveal who the killer was. Whaaaaa? Glad I stopped watching.

Not that I have time for TV anymore. I used to watch during Elsa’s nap, but those days are long gone as she either doesn’t nap much or she naps in the bed instead of on my lap.

She is such a silly girl. I had no idea she knew how to unscrew a lid, so when I saw her playing with a jar of peanut butter I thought it was perfectly safe.

WRONG!

I found her covered from head to toe in peanut butter. We were supposed to go to the gym for BodyPump, but I couldn’t take a peanut bomb to the gym. She’d likely have killed every allergic kid in the place. I thought maybe I could just go do a cardio workout after I gave her a shower, but then she fell asleep so that kind of shot our whole morning (though the nap was much needed). I guess being a Menace is hard work.