The Queen's Rambles

Mike did a very good deed this morning. Erik woke up before he left for work, so he took him downstairs, parked him in front of the TV and told him not to bug me. Amazingly, the child stayed there by himself for a full hour. Sounds dangerous! And it was glorious to sleep until 8:30. Usually the child can’t stand to be by himself for more than five minutes, so I’m still surprised he stayed on the couch that long.

The Thanksgiving feast was. . . interesting. I thought Erik’s class was dressed up as a bunch of Princess Leia clones, but if you look closely you can see the hat is actually two turkey drumsticks. Does that mean their head is a giant turkey? I call him turkey head all the time. It has a whole new meaning now.

The kids said a little prayer, sat down and ate and then got really bored. I couldn’t believe how long the kids were expected to just sit there and eat. Finally I got tired of standing so had Erik sit on my lap while I talked to a few of the other moms. I found out why they all look so tired. One mom was expecting her fifth child. Another just had her fourth. I talked to at least six moms and every single one had three or more kids.

Erik was getting really wiggly and we were in a big room so I finally let him off my lap and he went over to the corner and spun around and around and around for a good 20 minutes. I know Erik is high energy, but I couldn’t believe the other kids were able to sit still for forty minutes. That seems excessive for preschoolers. I kept waiting for something fun to happen, but much like the Halloween party, it was totally lame-o. Maybe my expectations are just too high?

On another note, we went to a little MOMS Club event this morning and I got my pottery piece back from that horrible night a few weeks ago. If you remember, the pottery lady was really rude. I thought my piece would turn out fairly horrible, but it was ok except for the giant, running black streaks down my snowman’s face! It is obvious that she dipped it in glaze before all the paint was dry because I sure as hell didn’t hand in a piece that had black dripping all over every thing. I guess I should have picked it up myself because I certainly would have had something to say. It reaffirms my decision not to go back there again. Our group is going back next month and taking the kids(!!!) to make things with their hand prints. I wasn’t planning on going because I don’t want to give that woman my business and I sure as hell don’t want to take Erik into a place full of breakables, but now I won’t even be slightly tempted to go make a keepsake.

Since our event was at the mall, I was able to get Erik some Christmas PJs*! Another thing crossed off my list. Our club is doing a pajama drive for the Great Sprout Tuck In for our fall service project, so we’re having a pajama party and everyone is supposed to bring in new pajamas or books to donate. I was kind of laughing at this project since I pajamas are obviously not a need. I can’t make my kid wear them, but I suppose kids that live in homes without central heat could really use them. I grabbed a few pairs to donate, but now I have to hide them from Erik since they have robots and aliens on them. They are too small for him, but I fear he will want them anyway.

It will be nice to have some cute PJs for our Christmas morning pictures, if I can just get Erik to wear them. He is past the age where I can comfortable take nude pictures of him. Heck, he is past the age where I am comfortable with him running around with his wang hanging out all the time. I tried to make him at least wear underwear this afternoon and he thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. Freak child.

Speaking of the freak child, he had a huge melt down this afternoon because I wouldn’t teach him to breathe under water. I’m such a cruel, cruel mother. Why does he think I have such skills? Finally he calmed down and told me he could breathe under water if he had a swimming helmet on, so he wants me to buy him one. I think he needs to learn to swim before he can start in on the SCUBA lessons.

*I usually get him a pair or two of Hannah Anderson long johns, but none of the designs this year are particularly Swedish. I don’t feel like spending that kind of cash on something that will be worn two times.