Treasure
Remember my Swedish friend, Annica? When I lived in Sweden we hung out all the time. She had two little girls. I had no children and knew nothing about parenting. Of course I thought I knew everything. Ha. Hahahahahaha. Funny how that goes.
Anyway, she always referred to their vaginas as their treasures. At the time I didn’t know why she needed to refer to them at all. Not like they could see them. Why did they even know they had a vagina?
Yes, I was quite deluded.
Elsa has figured out how to take her diaper off. I remember when Erik reached this stage and we had to move to pull-ups and rompers that snapped in the crotch. I am not sure what to do with Elsa.
I always find her with a finger up her vagina. And that’s if I’m lucky. She also tries to shove things up there.
Last night I was joking around (in my head, no one else knew it was a joke or even knew what I was talking about) and told her to get her finger out of her treasure.
Erik heard me and perked right up. He loves a good treasure.
Hmmm. This is becoming problematic.
He asked me what the treasure was, and I explained that boys have a wiener and girls have a different part called a vagina. He wanted to know what the part was for, and I explained it was a hole that babies could come out of. That rocked his world since he knows that he and Elsa exited through a hole the doctors cut in my stomach.
I realize some people will think I’m an idiot for not just calling it a penis and a vagina. Whatever. I don’t like those words.
This morning when he got up he immediately told me that he was going to tell his teacher that my treasure has a lot of hair on it.
Dandy.
Life with a kindergartner is a never ending embarrassment, I suppose.