The Queen's Rambles

My friend says she has a drill bit that can be used on metal. We will soon find out if it works. I need to put a chain up high on my door so my dear, sweet, adventurous son won’t be found wandering the streets with bare feet and a wagging wiener.

When I came out of the shower today, Erik had a brand new maternity shirt and maternity work out pants. Color me confused!

After much talking and investigating, the story came out. The UPS man knocked on the door, then dropped the package off on the porch. Erik made a good choice. He put on his pants, something we talk about all the time since he is such a nudist, then opened the door, found the package and brought it into the house.

He climbed up on top of the garbage can, grabbed the scissors and hacked the plastic packaging to bits. Somehow the clothing stayed intact, as did the boy’s skin.

Talk about scary! There are so many things that could have gone wrong that it makes me sick to even consider them.

So. . . time to borrow that drill and figure out how to put in a chain. At least that would limit wandering potential. I don’t have a clue where to hide the scissors. He’s industrious and determined. He will climb on anything. It is almost safer to have them someplace where he won’t kill himself trying to reach them. He already tries to climb to the top of the fridge because he knows that’s the main hiding spot for things. One of these days he’s going to figure out he can push the garbage can over to the counter, then climb up to the counter and reach the top of the fridge.

In other news, we went to the Romp ‘n Roll open gym today. I was so glad to get out of the house and Erik was so glad to have kids to run around with. I thought I was going to have to have mom fights with two different moms, though.

Ok, so probably not. They didn’t do anything to me, but they were both on my last nerve. Have I mentioned that I’m very irritable these days?

The first lady had two boys, maybe 1 and 3. She was a controlling bitch and wouldn’t let them do anything! She was freaking out over every single little thing the kids did was was really mean to the three year old. I don’t know how you can have two boys and be so uptight. They weren’t even doing anything remotely bad or dangerous and she would flip her lid. At the end of the open gym session, the worker lady came in and had the kids play “snowball fight,” which is always a winner with Erik. They put a big, soft barrier up and then the kids who want to participate stand on either side and throw these big, soft puffballs at each other. It takes up a very small area of the gym so if a child is too small or not interested they don’t need to participate.

The lady was pissed at Erik because he kept throwing the snowballs at her kids. We had this same problem the last time they did the snowball fight. Duh, people! If you don’t want someone to throw things at your kid, don’t bring them to the snowball fight! I don’t let Erik be mean to other kids, but I’m not going to tell him he can’t play the game that they are supposed to be playing!

The other mom was just as annoying, but in the totally opposite way. Her two year old girl was out of control. Her daughter could do no wrong. She was “loquacious” and “free spirited” and “so friendly!” Yeah, it looked real friendly when she shoved into a baby with a big push car thing. Then the kid got the industrial sized hand sanitizer down and was squirting it everywhere. The mom watched her do it. “So creative!” UGH!!!

Dude, she’s two and has no boundaries. You call it creative, I call it out of control due to parent negligence.

We went out to the parking lot at the same time. She was driving a Lexus. Why am I not surprised? Of course moms of all income levels act that way, but this woman was just so clueless and entitled.

Can’t believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve eve! I still have so much to do! I have to buy cheese! I don’t want to go to the store, but I must have cheese. I was just in the store today, but didn’t realize that my new dinner of potato chips, cheese and pickles had totally depleted my supply. At least I added clementines to the mix tonight.