The Queen's Rambles

I was trying to find out some information to help me with Christmas shopping, so I went delving deep into my journal. I knew what I wanted to know happened when we were in Oregon this summer. What a depressing lot of entries to read. My dad was dying, I was super sick and my sister was completely off her rocker. I’d honestly forgotten most of the crap she pulled, probably because I was so sick and upset that I have sort of blocked out all those memories. I’m glad I had them written down and I’m glad I decided to re-visit the entries because it made one thing very clear. I can not ever go to Oregon again (at least not my home town). If a friend of mine posted everything I had posted, then continued to visit I would write off my friend as completely clueless. I would very quickly lose sympathy for a person who continued to put herself in such situations and I would wonder why she would ever, ever, ever allow her children to be put in harm’s way. It’s time to end it. My sister has absolutely no respect for me or anyone else.

I was in this mindset last night when I came across her latest FB post, crying that it was so sad her children couldn’t sing songs about Jesus during their school Christmas program.

I may have started some Facebook dramaz. Nothing too bad, just a comment that it’s called separation of church and state and that there is nothing sad about it. Her children can sing as many songs to God as they want when they are at home or at church. It’s fun arguing with someone who has no clue about history. She didn’t even know what the term separation of church and state means. Literally. Did. Not. Know. That’s what happens when you spend your high school years running away from home, selling drugs and your body.

Now I have a whole slew of known drug dealers, ex-cons, current cons, parents of multiple children born out of wedlock to different partners, cheaters, and abusers praying for my soul and telling me I should leave America and go straight to hell where I belong. Because they are very Christian, you know.

Let me make this clear: I have nothing against the truly Christian among you posting thoughtful things about your faith. Or even flippant, funny things about your faith. You live your life that way and that’s who you are. Sometimes it is even interesting to me. Sometimes I even agree with the sentiment, if not with the source.

I just have a real problem with people who in no way live anything resembling a Christian life constantly posting about how much they love Jesus, want to praise him, live for him, love him, so on and so forth. And by the way! I can finance a mission trip to Fiji for my sister. Wouldn’t that be great! It’s sickening. I think I would hate it even more if I was still a Christian.

When I was a Christian I took my faith very, very seriously (part of the reason I can no longer be a Christian, I was very much in the all or nothing camp). It is a mockery to have these people saying they will pray for me. My sister and her husband defrauded my grandma for over $200K and are only free due to the severe deficiencies of the criminal justice system. And they are praying for my soul because I get irritated with their constant FB hypocrisy.

I solved the problem. I just unsubscribed from her feed. Now I can be less irritated in my life. Why didn’t I do that sooner? I almost want to block her, but I don’t want her calling here.

I also announced to Mike that we are not traveling to Oregon this summer. No way. No how. It’s my 20th high school reunion, so my family was hoping to get me back there to participate in that, but I don’t give two hoots about any of the people who are planning on attending. It would be fun to see some of my old HS friends, but as far as I can tell they are not going. I don’t blame them. I don’t want to go either. My hometown is a hell hole. We’ve all managed to make our escape and don’t need to go running back for any reason. I’ve informed Mike that he must forbid me from buying tickets, no matter how addled guilt makes my brain. I believe he is a very happy husband right now.

My mom and sister are both afraid that I’ll never go back now that my dad and grandma are dead. After reading through those last entries, they are right. I won’t go back. Why should I? Why should Mike and I spend our vacation time and money on a bunch of people who are dangerous and disrespectful lunatics? My mom can come out here to see the kids. I feel bad for my niece and nephews, but I seriously doubt if they care that much.

If my sister wants to see my kids so badly, she can get a bleepin’ j-o-b and make arrangements to meet us in a fun destination spot. How about Denver? It is not my financial responsibility to make sure she can pretend to love my kids for five minutes.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Ok, just needed to get that all out.

You guys will not believe the birthday party we went to today. It was gross-tacky. It was a 6 year old’s party at a bouncy house from 10:30-noon. In my peer group, this means that parents wouldn’t stay unless they were family friends. It also means that food would be provided for all guests, parents included.

I asked if it was a drop-off party and it wasn’t. Fair enough. There were 26 kids and 24 adults. In-frickin-sane.

The boy is in Erik’s class, so I didn’t really know the parents. The hosts always act hoity-toity and I know they live in the McMansions by the school. That doesn’t mean jack these days with everyone losing their shirts in the mortgage crisis, but I get the idea these people really want to keep up with the Joneses.

So they force the parents to stay. They don’t serve the parents a single drop of water, offer a bite of food or even a piece of cake! I’ve never been to a party like this that didn’t have at a minimum a veggie tray and cooler of bottled water for the parents. One guy asked where the drinks were, and the dad joked and said we could go drink out of the sink in the bathroom. I wanted to vomit.

Sheesh, people. If you can’t afford a big, fancy party then don’t plan a big, fancy party. Skimping on the food makes you look worse than opting for a small party.

Erik had fun, but it was certainly a miserable 90 minutes for me. I had other things to do and there was not a reason on this earth that I needed to be standing around with all these strangers while a bunch of college kids supervised the party.

Ok, gotta finish making some cookies. I really need to sit down and make a to-do list for this week. I’m starting to get panicky because I don’t have a to-do list and the panic makes me procrastinate so I don’t make a list so I panic. Clear as mud, right?