The Queen's Rambles

Once again, I am very frustrated with Erik’s teacher. We are in e-mail contact at least once a week, sometimes more. She complains that he won’t do his work. He won’t sit still. He won’t go to the bathroom unless she forces him. He will do his work, but he will purposely do every single question wrong and think it’s hilarious.

Yes, it is damned frustrating. I know that. He does those same behaviors at home and it drives me crazy. However, I am his mother and I have a heart bursting with motherly love. Even when he drives me crazy I think he is the most brilliant, beautiful, funny, perfect boy to ever live. He may be a stubborn little boy, but the very traits that make him difficult as a child will serve him well as an adult. I hope.

That’s not really his kindergarten teacher’s concern. To her, he’s just one of her hundreds of students that she’ll see in a lifetime. Nothing special, no one worth fighting for. He doesn’t even have an IEP or 504, so why should she put in her best effort? Not that she’s said that, but that’s just how I’m feeling as a mother.

So I give suggestions. What else can I do? I don’t have some kind of magic hand that can invisibly reach across the town and slap down into his classroom and make him hold still and do his work. He’s in her control during those hours. She needs to figure out a way to motivate him and deal with this behaviors. I KNOW things that will work, but she is not willing to implement my suggestions. Still, I will support her at home by talking positively about school, letting him know we expect him to be a hard working learner, doing nightly homework, reading, and doing whatever else we can to turn him into a responsible student and adult. There’s only so much we can do, though, when he is not in our presence.

Her latest complaint is about his constant movement. I know exactly what she means. He does not stop moving, ever. He does it when he needs to go to the bathroom, but he also does it when he is simply existing. He’s a six year old boy.

How am I supposed to make him stop wiggling when I’m not there?

I suggested she let him use an active seating device. I’ve worked in schools that have kids sit on balance balls (I’ve been reading and am wondering if I should start sitting on one to make my back feel better). I also read that a seating disk works just as well. It lets the wiggles out in a way that is not so annoying for those around the child.

I offered to buy one of these things, even though it seems like something a school should be able to provide.

Guess what? The school has them. She could choose to let him use one. She doesn’t want to. She just wants him to be still and to go to the bathroom when he’s feeling wiggly.

If she doesn’t want to try to create solutions for the problems, why is she telling me about the problems? I have no idea if this active seating idea would work, but if they have the disks at the school what possible harm could come from putting one on his chair for a few days?

It’s just incredibly frustrating.

I think she’ll be a better teacher once her children enter school. She has a 3 year old and is about to go out on mat leave with her second baby. Maybe then she’ll understand that parents know things.

I know that teachers get to know their students well, but I am with my child more than she is. I’ve been with him since the day he was born. I KNOW this kid. She has a lot of experience as a teacher and I understand that she may have ideas that I would never come up with. I am not a kindergarten teacher after all. It’s just frustrating that she doesn’t seem to be doing anything to try to help him enjoy school. She just expects him to fall in line because logically his life would be easier if he would fall in line. Six year olds are not logical!

At least Erik was happy today. We had a really pleasant afternoon and evening, which is so very lovely. I treasure every moment of happiness. When all is right in Erik’s world he’s a wonderful companion. I hate to see that spark smothered by a bad school experience.

I am looking forward to this teacher’s mat leave. I don’t know if the sub will be any better, but at least it will be a change.

How about that silly little Elsa? She’s one funny little girl. It’s hard to remember how concerned I was about her lack of eating now that she will stuff anything into her mouth. I had a bunch of celery left over from making potato soup last week. Mike asked what we should do with it, so I decided to horrify his little Swedish self and make peanut butter filled celery sticks. The Swedes don’t really care for peanut butter.

Erik, of course, wouldn’t try it. Elsa shocked me and ate every single drop of peanut butter and a good bit of the celery. She also ate almost all my butter chicken this afternoon, which was no mean feat because it was much spicier than normal. I’ve read that children don’t develop capsaicin receptors until age 3 so maybe that’s how she’s able to handle the heat. She’s a bossy little thing when it comes to food. “Momma blow! Now bite!” No matter the temperature of the food I have to blow on it before she eats it. At least she generally feeds herself. No spoon feeding for her. It makes a mess, of course, but not as much as you’d expect. She basically cleans out her oatmeal bowl each morning.

This afternoon she decided she was done with disposable diapers and insisted on being put in a cloth diaper. I was ambivalent about this. Yay! Back to saving money! Boo! I don’t want to go back to leaks and laundry!

She wore a cloth diaper all through her nap, about 3 hours. I immediately took her up to change it when she woke up.

Oh my poor, poor sweet baby. There is just something about cloth that is horrible for her skin. I forgot about all those months of fighting monstrous diaper rash, but 3 hours in cloth and it was back with a vengeance. And one of the major selling points of cloth: no more diaper rash!

Also, she is ginormous and even though I picked out the biggest diaper in my stash it barely fit her. She had huge red marks on her thighs that lasted hours. It is safe to say the diapers are going to be put out of sight and removed from the house ASAP. There will be no going back.

And lastly, I am just so fucking tired of this war on women. How have these assholes made it so far when they are attacking half the population? I knew they wanted employers to be able to opt-out of birth control coverage on their health care plans. I had no idea they wanted to be able to opt out of covering amnios based on moral grounds. An amnio is a test! It saves lives! Yes, some women may use the information to decide to have an abortion, but it does not CAUSE the abortion. It is a tool. Permalink