The Queen's Rambles

GRRRRRRR!!!! I am Mama Bear! Hear me roar!

I believe my son has been the victim of religious bullying.

When the bus arrived today, a fifth grade Safety Patrol brought Erik to me and reported that “Sonya said everyone who believes in God, raise your hand. Erik didn’t raise his hand. Then he said God isn’t real!”

I didn’t let him finish the story. I shut him down with a simple “I’m sure he did. We don’t believe in God in our family.”

After he picked his jaw up off the floor, he start stammering “but, but, but. . . . . . do you go to church?”

“No.”

I think he may have fainted, but I calmly walked away so didn’t see it happen. The look of complete shock was enough for me.

When we got home, I asked Erik what happened. It was quite the story, as told from a 6 year old’s perspective.

The kindergartners all made crowns as a craft today. I have no idea why. I guess because they are in kindergarten. They don’t need a reason to make crowns.

Erik was wearing his crown on the bus and saying “I’m the king of the world!” One of the safety patrol girls told him he’s not allowed to say that because only god is the king of the world.

Apparently she’s never heard of freedom of speech, religious diversity or Leonardo Di Caprio.

Erik told her that god is not real and it caused quite a stir. The kids all started yelling at him and telling him he was wrong. I guess that’s when this girl decided to take a poll and have the kids all raise their hands if they believed in god. One of the safety patrol kids reported Erik’s heathen ways to the bus driver and the bus driver ended up pulling over the bus. Erik thought he was in trouble, but I think the bus driver was just trying to calm the kids down.

A bunch of the kids were telling him that Jesus lives in his heart and that Jesus made him. He told them that his mommy and daddy made him and that he grew in his mommy’s tummy. And how can a dead person live in his heart? That doesn’t even make sense.

That’s my boy!

They got even more angry and told him that god made his grandma. He told them that his granny made his grandma.

That’s about all of the story that I know. Erik was really scared that he was in trouble, even though I very calmly reassured him that people can believe whatever they want and no one can ever tell him what to believe, not even me. I explained that when he was a grown-up he would have to decide what he believes. I am PISSED though. Erik wouldn’t even go outside to play for a couple of hours because he was afraid of the kids.

I e-mailed the counselor and let her know what happened. I know the school can not control what the kids say and the kids are just parroting what they hear at home, but the school better damned well let the Safety Patrol know that it is not their duty to patrol the other students’ religious beliefs.

I actually really like the kid who brought Erik to me and “tattled.” He’s normally really smart, very kind, incredibly responsible and just all around a good kid. I don’t think it ever occurred to him that not believing in god could be an option. I am obviously not going to get into a religious debate with an 11 year old. Someone at the school needs to have a chat with him and the others, though, and let them know that their behavior was bullying and absolutely not ok.

Whew! It sounds much less intense now that I’ve written it all up. I was livid this afternoon. Not so much at the kids, but just at the whole system. I know that when I chose to have a non-mainstream belief and pass it on to my children I was opening them up to this type of bullying, but it is still not fair or right. But it’s not like I am going to teach my children something I vehemently disagree with just for the sake of avoiding some bullies. Even if they did believe in god and go to church they would still encounter religious bullying, only they might think they have to take it because the bully might have clout in the religious community.

Ok, let’s talk about something else. No need to get into all the what ifs.

Camping! We went camping last weekend and lived to tell the tale. I have seen too many werewolf shows lately because I kept expecting a werewolf to pop out of nowhere and eat me. I don’t know how anyone is ever comfortable sleeping out in tents. They are so exposed. No locks! No walls! Any mass murderer with a machete or fangs can stab right through the flimsy nylon!

Elsa was mostly impressed with the food, but the dirt came in a close second.

We were in a very tiny cabin. It was ok, I suppose. Camping will never be my favorite activity, but I didn’t totally hate it. How’s that for a ringing endorsement?

It was a lot different from camping in Oregon. There wasn’t a body of water nearby, just some fields and some trees. We spent most of our time at the playground (very camp like) or preparing our food and fires. When I told my sister about the campground she had the same reaction I did: “But what do you do, if there’s no lake?” I don’t even like swimming and I would not want to keep my kids away from the water, but camping without a body of water nearby makes no sense to this Oregonian.

This thing was much harder than it looked. I was going to show Erik how it was done, but got on the first one and got stuck. I was yelling for help, but Mike just laughed at me. Eventually he did help me. I would never make a good adventurer. I’d be dead on the first vine swing. Click through for more pictures (same ones I posted on FB).

Everyone gave me great cooking advice on Facebook, so I figured out the key of getting everything prepped before leaving. I’m so glad, because it would have been a real pain to try to get everything prepped on site. Our cabin didn’t have any running water, so it was a long walk to the bath house/laundry room for dish washing.

I need to look up the address of my old church youth leaders and send them thank you cards. I can’t imagine all the prep and planning that went into taking a bunch of teenagers out into the woods. Or rather, I can imagine, but I can’t imagine ever agreeing to be in charge!

Ok, so I just looked up their names on google and found an address (it was a brother/sister team). I have one of those big boxes of generic cards so maybe tomorrow I’ll pull out a thank-you card and send it to them. I bet they’d get a kick out of it.

While camping, Erik got his first loose tooth, so that was pretty exciting. He’s 6 1/2, so it seems like it’s pretty late for his first loose tooth. We were both beginning to think it would never happen. How long does it take a tooth to fall out? He doesn’t seem to be messing with it, much. He will let me feel it, but I haven’t tried to pull it. I remember hating it when my grandma would try to pull my teeth. I am a pimple popper, not a tooth puller. There will be no string tied to the door knob in my household.

Monday was a pretty terrible day. I can’t remember exactly what happened, but I know we were all tired from the trip and the house was a disaster since we didn’t do our normal weekend cleaning. By the end of the night I was seriously considering going out and buying a huge wicker basket. I would line it with some nice, comfy blankies, swaddle Erik in a big sheet, then go and put him on the doorstep of an orphanage. It was that kind of night.

What a horrible thing for a mother to contemplate.

Thankfully things have turned around and he’s actually been pleasant, happy and fun the last few afternoons/evenings. I finally have my kid back! He is eager to discuss his school work for the first time ever. He is engaged. He is being nice to Elsa. He helps me around the house.

I guess it is all just a convergence of goodness that turned him into the child that I know he can be? Maybe?

1) He likes his new teacher a lot. I owe her a giant thank-you card at the end of her term.

2) It’s been warm here, so he’s been playing outside for hours. Sunshine and fresh air are good for the soul. He has given up on playing with the mean neighbor kid and is back to playing with the nice neighbor girl. Also, remember the grandpa who told me Erik was going to get kidnapped? Erik loves playing with the grandson. He’s a nice kid, so that works out. The grandpa can keep Erik safe from whatever kidnapper thinks it’s a great plan to snatch a kid in broad daylight from a large group.

3) I have given up on homework. It has such a negative impact on our family life that I can’t think of any reason to force ourselves to continue to do it. If he was struggling with academics that would be one thing, but I honestly see no benefit other than getting into the habit of sitting down and doing homework. There will be time for that later.

My mom gets here on Sunday! She’s staying for six weeks this time. I know that is a crazy long time to have your mom stay with you, but we get along well for the most part. It helps that she likes to nap in the afternoons.

She’s been selling off my dad’s artifacts, so she has more money than usual. She bought me a KitchenAid stand mixer for my birthday! I can’t wait to get it! I just ordered it today. I wanted to get one in turquoise or teal, but then I found another one for the same price that sounded like a more powerful machine. It only came in a cocoa silver finish, which is more practical anyway. Where I’m going to put this thing? I have no idea. I think I need to have Mike install some shelves above my butcher block, so I can free up some space there.