The Queen's Rambles

In my travels around the stay-at-home mom circuit I meet moms of all stripes. I honestly haven’t encountered a lot of the helicopter parenting that is so prevalent today, maybe because I don’t usually encounter that class of parent. Of course there is a lot of variety in parenting skills/beliefs/practices, but I haven’t felt judged in a very long time.

Today was a little different.

I took Erik to Playtime at the Plex, a cheap indoor activity that allows the kids to run around. Basically they open up the soccerplex for a couple of hours and let the kids bring in toys and run wild. The plex houses two full size indoor soccer fields, so you can imagine it is pretty big.

Erik took his bike, but it never occurred to me that he would need a bike helmet. I’ll admit we’re bad about making him wear his helmet. I see people who make their kids wear a helmet while riding a trike, but we never did that. I don’t know what the law is, but I guess I am just old fashioned and don’t really see the point of having a kid wear a helmet when he’s only on sidewalks.

Now that he has a real bike (with training wheels) he does have a helmet and I should make him wear it, but I don’t. If he ever road his bike out on the main road I would, but he isn’t allowed to go there. No excuse I guess, but I figure if it is a problem the police officer who lives in our cul-de-sac could come out and tell us to get a helmet on him. I’ve never seen a kid in this neighborhood wear a helmet.

So we go to the playtime and I don’t take a helmet and Erik is the only kid not wearing one. Whoops. Bad mommy.

Some other little kid noticed and his mom made a big deal out of “some mommies have different rules, but we just want you to be safe all the time” while glaring daggers at me. Ok, maybe I deserved that a little bit. I don’t know. But the poor kid! Not only did he have a helmet, he had wrist, knee and elbow pads! Maybe I’m a little too laissez fare, but that seems to be overkill for riding a bike inside a gym.

I’ll be picking up that Mother of the Year award any day now.

At least I talked to my sister on the phone this afternoon. That always makes me feel better about my parenting.

We were talking about the kids and the funny things they do. Erik is testing the limits with his vocabulary, namely by saying “What the hell happened?” or “Jesus Christ!” All things he hears from us, sad to say.

My sister was horrified and asked what kind of soap I use to wash out his mouth.

Uhhhhh.

No.

None.

No way!

He’s four. Testing the limits is what they do. I find a simple, unemotional “those are grown-up words, not boy words” usually stops the problem after a day or two.

Is soap in the mouth always wrong? I’m not sure. If my 11 year old curses me out and calls me a mother-f***** or even bitch, there might be soap in his future, but I it seems cruel to do that to a little kid who is just parroting what he’s heard at home. If we don’t want him to use that language it is our responsibility to not expose him to that language.

My sister goes on to tell me that her four year old daughter’s favorite movie is The Hangover. I’ve seen previews. I’ve heard about this movie. You wash your four year old’s mouth out with soap, but you let them wash this movie every single day, sometimes multiple times??????

My brain just went haywire at the thought.

I know I keep Erik pretty sheltered about the stuff he watches, but I think most responsible parents keep their preschoolers away from R rated movies. There’s a total disconnect in my sister’s brain sometimes.

Me: You let them watch The Hangover?
Her: Yeah, they love it.
Me: Then you wash their mouth out with soap when they repeat what they hear on the movie?
Her: Damn right! My kids know better!

How? How do they know better? I’m so confused.

But at least it makes me feel better about my own parenting.

I’m a judgemental bitch sometimes.