The Queen's Rambles

I thought we were going to drown today. Weather talk is so boring, but dude. It was raining. The end.

I am actually drowning in breast milk. Perhaps drowning is not the word. My breasts are made of stones. Stones full of milk.

Elsa has not nursed in almost 60 hours. My boobs HURT.

I am trying to hand express the milk, but it is not easy. I don’t have a pump. It is worth the pain, though. She is almost weaned! She is sleeping in her own bed with just one wake-up at night. Mike is taking care of it all! Exciting things are happening in our family life. Maybe I shouldn’t say she is almost weaned. Maybe she is totally weaned.

Yesterday she was so desperate that she lifted Mike’s shirt and tried to nurse. The look on her face was priceless. Hairy nips are not tasty, apparently.

Mike has been extremely motivated on a few household projects. We have a huge pile of stuff for a charity truck to pick up. So nice to get some of this stuff out of the house, including the highchair and a bunch of shorts that I will never wear again. Even if I ever manage to lose weight and fit in them, they are way too short and silly looking for a woman of my age. They are probably fifteen years old. My styling choices back then were not what I would choose now. Ha. Light denim with cutesy heart appliques? I think not.

He was also supposed to do a bunch of landscaping, but that’s hard to do when the rain won’t let up. He finally had a sunny day yesterday and planted a bunch of grass. I’m not confident that anything will grow. I’m sure the seed all floated away today. He was so protective over his poor seeds that he was throwing soccer balls at the squirrels. He has an uphill battle if he thinks he can beat down the squirrels.

Speaking of seeds, Erik has another reproductive question. What happens if two seeds from the daddy get to the egg at the EXACT SAME MOMENT? I told him that’s not possible, but he believes it is possible and that it would make a super baby. I told him if it happened the egg would not be good anymore and it would just go out of the mother before it made a baby.

A few minutes later he declared that he and his little girlfriend would not BREAK APART EVER. He is planning on moving into her neighborhood. I’m not sure where he’s going to get the money to take out a mortgage or pay rent.