The Queen's Rambles

I’m exhausted today. Elsa woke up around 3 am and had a total toddler meltdown because she wanted her daddy. I was happy to pass her off to Mike, but then I laid awake for several hours worrying about my nephew.

I don’t talk to my mom very often anymore because I get too frustrated with the dysfunction that she so happily feeds. The latest news is just as crazy as ever. My BIL is in jail for anywhere from 90 days to 3 years (driving without a license, DUI). My mom and sister had a big blow out, so my mom kicked her out of the house. Sister is currently staying with a lady she knows from community college. The lady is not a drug addict or alcoholic, so I don’t think she will let my sister stay long. She has probably never dealt with my sister’s type of dysfunction and had a little fantasy about helping her out. You can’t help someone who refuses to acknowledge they have a problem.

The two older kids (turning 7&8 in July) are staying with my sister. My youngest nephew (just turned 4) refuses to leave my mom’s side, so he is still staying with my mom. He’s in a safe place, so I’m happy. My niece seems to be able to handle all this change pretty well. She retreats into her own world. She is strongly attached to my sister, even though I’ll never understand why.

My oldest nephew though. Oh boy. My poor, poor Braxton. All the kids are in a total crap situation, but he takes it to heart the most and seems to be the one most damaged by my sister’s lifestyle. He tries to protect the two younger kids, which is not easy when you are only 7. My sister is a classic narcissist and has turned him into her scapegoat while Laynee is the golden child. Everything is his fault. Everything. When he was four, it was his fault that the house wasn’t packed for a move. Now it is his fault when the laundry isn’t done and that his dad is in jail.

I seriously hate my sister. I don’t say that lightly. I hate her for what she puts those kids through. I don’t know how she can live with herself. How can she look at her babies and not put their best interests above her own selfish needs? And she wants more children.

How will she accomplish that if her husband is in jail for three years? No worries. She’s got a boyfriend. He doesn’t have a job either.

I just wish I could talk her into giving me custody of Braxton. I’d take all three, of course, but I think he is the one who needs to get out of there the most. I know it is never going to happen so I have to quit torturing myself with thoughts of what those kids are going through. I have called CPS numerous times. I’ve called my BIL’s parole officer. I’ve called the school and talked to the school counselor. The only one that seemed to help was calling the school. And how did it help? The principal called my sister into his office and told her that if the kids did not attend regularly next year she would have to home school them.

I don’t know how you can be a methhead and still have custody of your children. Maybe she’ll lose them now that BIL is in jail. He was the one doing all the parenting. As much as my mom loves to hate him, from what I personally witnessed he was the stable one in the relationship (not that that’s saying much) and the only one who tried to take care of the kids.

Ok. Deep breath. Gotta let go since there is not a single damned thing I can do to fix it.

New topic.

Elsa has been very resistant to all potty training attempts, so it was a big surprise when Mike brought me the potty seat bowl and asked why it was full of stuff. Neither of us told her to use the potty–I guess the message finally got through to her. I decided to encourage this, so we kept her bare bottomed and she used the potty every single time she needed to go yesterday. Whoo-hoo! I had to run an errand today, so put her in a pull-up. I’m not ready for public accident potential yet. We’ll just have nekkie time at home.

Our MOMS Club is putting on a preschool fair this year for the first time. There are four MOMS Club chapters in my town and another chapter used to do the fair, but they are unable to continue. It has been a kind of strange event in the past–weird time, only 1 hour, crazy and chaotic. We had a totally different vision for it, so our new president took the bulls by the horns and asked a big sports plex about holding it at their place. We were expecting to be shot down (or rather, told yes but having it be way out of our budget). The new prez and I just met with the director and we are in shock. We get the space for free in exchange for allowing them to be the only sports program vendor. We had a few members of the club telling us we could never get this place, we could never afford it, etc. In their face! Haha! Sometimes all you have to do is ask.

Other good things:

*We are probably going to re-fi our house! We were quoted a 3% interest rate, which is amazing (I think). Maybe one day we will get out from under the mortgage and be able to buy our dream house. There are a lot of good things about our neighborhood, but I am ready to move beyond a townhouse and have some space. Maybe in ten years that can be a reality.

*Erik started his first day of camp today! I don’t have him crawling all over me, begging to be entertained. He really needs a lot more entertainment than I can provide.

*Erik is such a math whiz! I bought him a book of first grade problem solving math the other day (mainly story problems). He’s already finished the book. Whenever he’s bored he sits and does a few pages and says it’s the funnest thing ever. I need more story problem books. That type of book would have been my total nightmare when I was a kid. Maybe I can talk his first grade teacher into letting him read story problems instead of books during down time next year. That would really help his attitude toward school.

*Elsa is completely adorable. She is driving me crazy because she is two and two year olds throw themselves down, scream, cry, have huge fits. But she is so danged cute doing it! I try very hard not to laugh, and mostly succeed. I do miss my super sweet little baby, but I am also enjoying watching her work things out for herself and try to solve her own problems. She’s scary smart–in fact, I think she may even be smarter than Erik. Yikes!

*We are planning our summer vacation! I made a huge mistake when I booked the first hotel room (did it for the wrong week). It was non-refundable, non-modifiable so I was freaking out. I called hotels.com and begged them to let me fix it. They did so with no problems, so my big mistake didn’t cost a bucket of money.

Now I need opinions on what do do around Rhode Island. We are going to stop by Sesame Place for a couple of days, then I want to go up to Rhode Island for a few days. Originally we were going to go to Boston, but hanging around on the coast sounds a lot more appealing than going into a city. We like to keep things pretty low-key. Everyone kept telling us the best kid attraction in Boston was a children’s science center or something like that. I looked it up and don’t really feel like driving to Boston just for that. We have two similar things in Baltimore.

Ok, guess I better go do some laundry.