Curse you, slow internet!
I don’t know what’s up with my internet, but it is super slow today. You’d almost think I was on dial-up.
Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration. I don’t think dial-up would even be possible with today’s websites. You’d be waiting for ten years just to load the ads.
It won’t load any of my pictures to flickr, which is driving me mad. Mad, I tell you! You need to see pictures of my children frolicking in the ocean and squishing each other. How can you live without seeing their darling vacation faces? They are super special snowflakes, gosh darn it. And cute, to boot.
Here’s the question of the hour.
What’s the allowance situation in your home?
We just started giving Erik an allowance about three months ago. We went with general internet wisdom and did $1/years old. Since Erik is so impressed with his half year, he gets $6.50/week. I have to admit it feels like it is kind of a lot, but then I look at the benefits and think it is fine. Erik has told a few of my friends about his allowance and they all have a horrible gasping intake of breath and tell me it is way too much.
I don’t know. Is it way too much? We can afford it, so that’s not an issue.
Here is my defense. I need to vent it to you because I am not good at articulating my thoughts in person. Not that I need to defend myself to YOU or anyone else, but I need to mentally defend myself to someone so you, lovely internet friends, are it.
*I’m not organized with chores. I don’t really have things that I need done on a weekly or daily basis. I need things done when I need them done. Saying “yo, child, do this thing now if you want your allowance” works for me.
*One mom suggested I pay as we go. I find it difficult to come up with a list and assign a value to each chore, then pay for each chore as it happens. We tried it, it failed. He did not see the value in getting a quarter for bringing in the trash can and would say he didn’t need/want to do chores because the money wasn’t worth it. He didn’t really get that it all added up.
*Having enough money to buy something of value rather quickly is very motivating and makes our daily live much easier. If I paid him $2/week as one friend suggested he would never do his chores. We’d be fighting constantly over it. He wants video games and Beyblades. Saving up for two or three weeks is doable. Saving up for weeks for one thing is not something he has the attention span to handle. I want him to actually DO HIS CHORES. I don’t want to be deducting money and fighting over his allowance. Currently when I say “chore time”, he may complain a little but he does it and usually does it with alacrity.
*A big part of having an allowance is learning to manage money. Having enough money to manage makes it easier to learn this lesson.
*I rarely buy him treats, toys and extras. It is so wonderful to be able to tell him “if you want it, buy it” when he starts begging me for a candy bar, ice cream cone, new video game, etc. He often changes his mind very quickly when I make him responsible for the purchase. One of the friends who criticized me the most harshly for his allowance regularly buys her child $50 toys “just because.” Which is totally fine. You want to treat your kid, do it! But don’t go judgey-pants on me because my kid’s “treat” comes in a different form.
Whew! It felt good to get that out! I am very happy with our current system. It gives Erik a feeling of pride to feel like he is working and getting paid. Thus far I have been able to get him to do just about anything I ask. He regularly does vacuuming, he folds wash clothes, he puts away all his own clothes, brings in the trash can, helps pick up around the house, cleans his room, dusts the floorboards and wainscoting, etc. Just having him doing the floorboards is more than worth it!
Jeanette1ca said,
August 7, 2012 @ 12:35 pm
Yes, 6.50 sounds like a lot to me, but I raised my child 30 years ago, when 6.50 was the hourly wage for many adults. In today’s money, it is probably right on track, especially for how you want to use it, to get him to understand how to save up money for a few weeks to buy something he wants. More than a few weeks – no, it won’t work, not at this point. When he’s 16 and wants a car — then you can evaluate how long he should be able to delay gratification!
And most importantly, the system is working for you and for him. Hurrah!
bethany actually said,
August 7, 2012 @ 8:25 pm
We also do $1/year (and 50 cents for the half-years)! Annalie started getting an allowance when she was about 5, and she was responsible for feeding the cats every day, helping me get the mail (we used to have a mailbox that we had to walk across the yard to and unlock), picking up her own toys at the end of the day (or whenever I asked her to), bringing her dishes to the table after meals, putting her laundry in the laundry basket, etc. If she wanted extra money, we’d give her extra chores like cleaning all the mirrors in the house, cleaning the sliding-glass doors and kitchen window, sweeping the patio or kitchen, usually for about a buck apiece. With every increase in allowance, we’d increase Annalie’s responsibilities.
Now, at 8, she gets $8/week and is expected to UNCOMPLAININGLY feed the cats, unload the dishwasher every day, put her own dishes in the dishwasher, vacuum when asked, clean the mirrors/windows when asked, help me out with Elliora as needed, keep her room clean, and a few other things I’m sure I’m forgetting. Sometimes she’ll surprise me by cleaning up the living room without being asked, or making our bed and picking up our bedroom, and often when she does those things I bump her allowance up by a dollar (in addition to praising her lavishly).
We’ve also started giving her one dollar each time she willingly tries a new food—taking a good sized bite, chewing, and swallowing—which isn’t bankrupting us because it doesn’t happen that often. It started in Hawaii when I was eating something I KNEW she would like, and she refused to try it. So I told her I’d give her a dollar. Then my mom said she would too, and my friend Lauren said she would too. So Annalie tried it, and actually liked the food. I told her I’d give her a dollar for the rest of the vacation every time she tried a new food. We’ve kept doing it just because it’s a good way to get her over that initial ewww-a-new-food hump.
All of that said, though, I’m toying with the idea of switching to giving her an allowance just because she’s a member of the family, and so she can learn to manage her money. And instead of motivating her to do chores with money, we’d use TV/video game time. Like, with each chore completed she can buy 15 or 30 minutes of TV/video games. I haven’t really worked that out in my head yet, though, so we’ll see.
Jennifer said,
August 9, 2012 @ 7:24 am
We have been doing the allowance thing very half-assed and not very organized for a couple months now. I started in the spring giving Peter (who is 7 and a half but doesn’t get too jazzed about the half) $3 a week if he’d just stop whining about basic stuff he needs to do, like take a shower, go to bed on time, do homework without complaining, etc. That helped a lot, it completely wiped away the whining. I was able to assign him a few chores, but not really well i have to admit. I’m fairly anal and if i want something done I tend to just do it, rather than think hey good learning opportunity.
But I think once school starts again I’m going to have to get much more organized and come up with more ‘chore’ things to do, on top of the stuff that is already his ‘job’ – like i mentioned before, going to bed on time, taking a shower, homework, no complaining about any of it. But I think the amount is right, for us anyway. it allows me to offer up another $1 if he does exceptionally well at something without feeling like I’m giving him a lot of money. For him I think $6.50 would be a lot, because I just dont have the expectations on him yet. gotta work on that. 🙂