The Queen's Rambles

Here’s a post from Friday night. Auto-restore saved it, so I may as well post it.
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I am seriously reconsidering the idea of going to the beach for a holiday. I have a terrible fish phobia, so I won’t be going in the water. There are things in the ocean. Things that are even worse than fish! And there’s no way on god’s green earth that I trust Elsa anywhere near a single drop of water.

Oh.

My.

God.

That girl.

She’s always been a water baby, but today really illustrated the dangers of her attitude toward the water. We went to our friend’s community pool and I ended up pulling Elsa from the bottom of the pool at least 10 times.

I’ve been taking Erik to the pool since he was 9 months old. We lived in an apartment with a pool for his first three years of life, so he spent the whole summer in the pool for three years. How many times did I have to pull him from the bottom of the pool? ZERO. Nada! Zilch!

He would wear his little life jacket and he would never jump in without me right there with him. Even when he was tiny and two and disobedient, he would wait for me. We would spend hours in the pool. He’d float around and I’d follow, but he never got his face wet.

Elsa is a whole new ball game.

I got her a floaty thing recommended by the survival swimming school in town. They say it is the best thing to use, so I believed them. It worked ok, until she decided she didn’t need it. She took it off and refused to wear it. She kept cannonballing off the side of the pool over and over again. Then she figured out that if she ran away from me while I was in the water I couldn’t catch up with her, so she’d run away and cannonball in.

Obviously we had to leave the big pool and go into the kiddie pool, which was not nearly as nice.

So it should have been ok, right? The water only went to her waist, so what could go wrong? I look over and see her sitting in the middle of the pool, completely submerged and unable to get up.

She was fine every time I fished her out. In fact, she was pissed at me for touching her. She would kick and squirm away from me, not caring that when she finally succeed in escaping the evil clutches of her mother, she dropped to the bottom of the pool.

Soooooo. . . trip to the coast? Sounds like a total nightmare all of a sudden.

Also, I need to find her monkey backpack/leash. She has started running out in front of cars in the parking lot. Yesterday she made her escape and came very close to being hit by an SUV. Thankfully the driver was on the ball and was able to stop her. He even rolled down his window and told me it was ok and that she was alive, so I should take a deep breath. I guess I looked more than a little frazzled. I’m so used to her being Miss Shy baby and clinging to my leg.

On a completely unrelated note, I may have helped improve the lives of two hermit crabs. I can’t believe I give a flying fig about the poor creatures, but I do. We went to a local indoor playplace called the Playseum on Thursday. They had a pet room that included two hermit crabs. The conditions were abysml. No salt water, no temperature or humidity gauge, totally dry sand, nothing to climb on, no place to hide. Erik was really angry since he is now an expert on hermit crab care. I have to admit I was pretty upset as well. Why make a pet of a living creature if you are going to keep it in such cruel conditions?

I came home and sent them a message via FB (since they didn’t have an e-mail address). I got a message back apologizing for the conditions, along with a promise that they would read the website link I sent them and fix the crabitate up to the website standards. They said they would invite us back when it was ready and we could see if we approved. I hope they mean it, but I guess we will see. It is not cheap to properly set up a crabitate unless you are able to get some of the supplies second hand.

Holy shit. It sounds like armageddon is going on out side! I think I’m a little scared! I wonder if I should go out and get the pool. I’m not so sure it would be wise to go out there. Hmmmm. . just looked out the window and the pool is in the neighbor’s yard. Guess I’m going out. Hope I make it back in!

I’m exhausted today. Elsa woke up around 3 am and had a total toddler meltdown because she wanted her daddy. I was happy to pass her off to Mike, but then I laid awake for several hours worrying about my nephew.

I don’t talk to my mom very often anymore because I get too frustrated with the dysfunction that she so happily feeds. The latest news is just as crazy as ever. My BIL is in jail for anywhere from 90 days to 3 years (driving without a license, DUI). My mom and sister had a big blow out, so my mom kicked her out of the house. Sister is currently staying with a lady she knows from community college. The lady is not a drug addict or alcoholic, so I don’t think she will let my sister stay long. She has probably never dealt with my sister’s type of dysfunction and had a little fantasy about helping her out. You can’t help someone who refuses to acknowledge they have a problem.

The two older kids (turning 7&8 in July) are staying with my sister. My youngest nephew (just turned 4) refuses to leave my mom’s side, so he is still staying with my mom. He’s in a safe place, so I’m happy. My niece seems to be able to handle all this change pretty well. She retreats into her own world. She is strongly attached to my sister, even though I’ll never understand why.

My oldest nephew though. Oh boy. My poor, poor Braxton. All the kids are in a total crap situation, but he takes it to heart the most and seems to be the one most damaged by my sister’s lifestyle. He tries to protect the two younger kids, which is not easy when you are only 7. My sister is a classic narcissist and has turned him into her scapegoat while Laynee is the golden child. Everything is his fault. Everything. When he was four, it was his fault that the house wasn’t packed for a move. Now it is his fault when the laundry isn’t done and that his dad is in jail.

I seriously hate my sister. I don’t say that lightly. I hate her for what she puts those kids through. I don’t know how she can live with herself. How can she look at her babies and not put their best interests above her own selfish needs? And she wants more children.

How will she accomplish that if her husband is in jail for three years? No worries. She’s got a boyfriend. He doesn’t have a job either.

I just wish I could talk her into giving me custody of Braxton. I’d take all three, of course, but I think he is the one who needs to get out of there the most. I know it is never going to happen so I have to quit torturing myself with thoughts of what those kids are going through. I have called CPS numerous times. I’ve called my BIL’s parole officer. I’ve called the school and talked to the school counselor. The only one that seemed to help was calling the school. And how did it help? The principal called my sister into his office and told her that if the kids did not attend regularly next year she would have to home school them.

I don’t know how you can be a methhead and still have custody of your children. Maybe she’ll lose them now that BIL is in jail. He was the one doing all the parenting. As much as my mom loves to hate him, from what I personally witnessed he was the stable one in the relationship (not that that’s saying much) and the only one who tried to take care of the kids.

Ok. Deep breath. Gotta let go since there is not a single damned thing I can do to fix it.

New topic.

Elsa has been very resistant to all potty training attempts, so it was a big surprise when Mike brought me the potty seat bowl and asked why it was full of stuff. Neither of us told her to use the potty–I guess the message finally got through to her. I decided to encourage this, so we kept her bare bottomed and she used the potty every single time she needed to go yesterday. Whoo-hoo! I had to run an errand today, so put her in a pull-up. I’m not ready for public accident potential yet. We’ll just have nekkie time at home.

Our MOMS Club is putting on a preschool fair this year for the first time. There are four MOMS Club chapters in my town and another chapter used to do the fair, but they are unable to continue. It has been a kind of strange event in the past–weird time, only 1 hour, crazy and chaotic. We had a totally different vision for it, so our new president took the bulls by the horns and asked a big sports plex about holding it at their place. We were expecting to be shot down (or rather, told yes but having it be way out of our budget). The new prez and I just met with the director and we are in shock. We get the space for free in exchange for allowing them to be the only sports program vendor. We had a few members of the club telling us we could never get this place, we could never afford it, etc. In their face! Haha! Sometimes all you have to do is ask.

Other good things:

*We are probably going to re-fi our house! We were quoted a 3% interest rate, which is amazing (I think). Maybe one day we will get out from under the mortgage and be able to buy our dream house. There are a lot of good things about our neighborhood, but I am ready to move beyond a townhouse and have some space. Maybe in ten years that can be a reality.

*Erik started his first day of camp today! I don’t have him crawling all over me, begging to be entertained. He really needs a lot more entertainment than I can provide.

*Erik is such a math whiz! I bought him a book of first grade problem solving math the other day (mainly story problems). He’s already finished the book. Whenever he’s bored he sits and does a few pages and says it’s the funnest thing ever. I need more story problem books. That type of book would have been my total nightmare when I was a kid. Maybe I can talk his first grade teacher into letting him read story problems instead of books during down time next year. That would really help his attitude toward school.

*Elsa is completely adorable. She is driving me crazy because she is two and two year olds throw themselves down, scream, cry, have huge fits. But she is so danged cute doing it! I try very hard not to laugh, and mostly succeed. I do miss my super sweet little baby, but I am also enjoying watching her work things out for herself and try to solve her own problems. She’s scary smart–in fact, I think she may even be smarter than Erik. Yikes!

*We are planning our summer vacation! I made a huge mistake when I booked the first hotel room (did it for the wrong week). It was non-refundable, non-modifiable so I was freaking out. I called hotels.com and begged them to let me fix it. They did so with no problems, so my big mistake didn’t cost a bucket of money.

Now I need opinions on what do do around Rhode Island. We are going to stop by Sesame Place for a couple of days, then I want to go up to Rhode Island for a few days. Originally we were going to go to Boston, but hanging around on the coast sounds a lot more appealing than going into a city. We like to keep things pretty low-key. Everyone kept telling us the best kid attraction in Boston was a children’s science center or something like that. I looked it up and don’t really feel like driving to Boston just for that. We have two similar things in Baltimore.

Ok, guess I better go do some laundry.

I’m so glad it’s Friday. Erik’s six weeks of daycamp starts on Monday. He needs it. I need it. I’m not sure who needs it most.

He is bored out of his gourd, even though I am trying to do fun things with him. Every second of inattention is a second that he is soooooooooooooooo boooooooored he’s going to die. He’s always been high maintenance.

He just found a penny from the Bahamas in his coin collection. I assume he picked it up in the street since we do live in a very diverse area. He is asking me over and over and over again “where did my coin from the Ba-ha-ha come from? Why do I have a coin from the Ba-ha-ha.” I am cracking up at the Ba-ha-ha, but tired of answering the question. The latest theory: a robber left it for him. I think he needs a dictionary.

Speaking of which–he read a whole chapter in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by himself this morning! I’m so proud of him! I even quized him on it to make sure he understood and he seems to have really read it. We had Elsa’s playgroup over here this morning so he was boooooooooooored. “Why do we have to have all these babies around, anyway?”

I probably only have a few more minutes of writing before I am strongarmed into going upstairs and filming more hermit crab races. If you are on my FB you got to see a couple of races yesterday, lucky you. I finally was able to access my youtube account, so will be uploading the rest there. Not that I expect you to want to watch them. They are a little more exciting than the typical YouTube hermit crab race because most races don’t feature a crazy 2 year old screaming at the top of her lungs.

Yup. Now he wants a hermit crab race. I would put him off, but I smell something that tells me Elsa needs some attention.

I feel like I am not doing a good job recording Elsa’s childhood. I wrote an entry almost every single day for several years, including most of Erik’s childhood. I don’t have that kind of time or energy these days. I don’t even have anything that interesting to say anymore because I have learned that nothing is truly private on the internet. Local friends and enemies can find my blog if they try hard enough. I have some bigger responsibilities in the SAHM world these days. Sooooooo. . . there goes all the funny stories about the weirdos I meet.

How about a picture of Elsa? That girl loves her daddy. She will chose him over me any day, which is hard on me when she’s hurt and I just want to scoop her up and comfort her. Overall it’s a good thing, though. It is so great that my children get to have a father who loves them and is involved in their lives and is a great role model. Hopefully they won’t need too much therapy when they are grown.

She is still my little daredevil. You often hear “thump thump thump thump THUD” in my house as she does a run and flings herself onto a piece of furniture over and over and over again. She’s a climber and a fighter. She talks very clearly, which can be embarassing. Her favorite phrases seem to be “GO AWAY” when talking to other kids, complete with a really mean look and pointing finger. She also likes “COME ON” when talking to me or “bro-ie,” the name she’s giving Erik. And we can’t forget “CRABBIES!!!”

Yes, she speaks in all caps.

The kids have become obsessed with the hermit crabs. I guess that’s a good thing? I don’t know, but I feel bad for the poor things. We take them out a few times a day to give them a bath and let them run the obstacle course that Erik built out of Lincoln Logs. Someone told us that the more we take them out during the day, the less nocturnal they will become. I can’t remember if that was here on LJ or on FB, but it seems to be true. They have become used to us and we have definetly become used to them. We don’t even screech and run away when they climb on us. I have to carefully monitor all interactions because Elsa would really love to hug and squeeze the poor dears. I am sure they are totally terrified when she gets down in their face and starts yelling “HELLO SUNNY!!! HI SUNNY!!! HELLO!!!!”

We currently have five crabs, four of which are active. One is still buried under the water dish. None of them ever seem to eat.

Kindergarten is finally over! Let’s all do a big ol’ happy dance! Tango-tango-cha-cha!

It was a rough, rough year. I never anticipated things going so poorly. I have always been a staunch defender of public school teachers (having been one myself), so this exprience has came completely out of left field and felt like a personal betrayal. I know that’s a very silly way to look at it. It wasn’t personal at all. Erik just got unlucky and had a teacher he didn’t click with–a teacher who refused to take any responsibility for lack of clickage or do anything that could improve the situation. There’s only so much a parent can do at home when the teacher flat out refuses to try simple things that could possibly make a big difference.

Next year will be better. It has to be.

I don’t know what to do if next year isn’t better. There aren’t many options around here. Though we are in an insanely huge school system (eleventh largest in the nation), we don’t have a single charter school. Damned politics.

There are a couple of language immersion schools and one TAG program, but all of them are way, way far away from us and it would be HIGHLY unlikely we would be able to get in, even if I wanted to spend 2-4 hours in a car every day.

Other options:

Private school. Anyone want to donate to that fund? I would have to go back to work and I seriously doubt I could get a job that would cover tuition for Erik and daycare for Elsa.

Homeschool. Hahahahahahaha. Not going to happen unless things get really bad. I am not sure how bad really bad would have to be, but it would have to be a lot worse than this year. I love Erik more than I can even begin to describe, but we don’t click as pupil and teacher.

Move to another school zone. We’re upside down on our mortgage so that’s not going to happen. Plus, a lot of the issues we have stem from No Child Gets Ahead and our school district’s curriculum. Where would we move? Sweden? I think not.

Let’s just think happy thoughts! Summer! Fruit smoothies! Lots and lots and lots of fruit smoothies. At least I have a recipe that I like so I can almost pretend it’s ice cream. I am not a fruit fan. Want my recipe? You can thank The Fresh Beat Band for teaching me about orange juice as a sweetener.

1/2 cup orange juice
1/4 cup vanilla yogurt (or whatever flavor)
big handful of fresh or frozen strawberries
big handful of fresh or frozen blackberries
banana
big handful of spinach
about 4 ice cubes (more if using fresh fruit)

Blend it all up and yum yum yum. I am hoping these smoothies are going to help me slim up and will teach the kids to like the flavor of fruit.

I really need to go to sleep, but how about funny story time first?

We went to the pool on Sunday, which is always overly chlorinated. We all have very sensitive skin so must shower as soon as we come home or suffer from chemical burns. The two kids were done and roaming around upstairs while I took my shower.

As I stepped out of the shower I heard a lot of screaming and commotion in Erik’s room.

I rushed in there, completely naked, and found Erik holding the hermit crab bathtub pan, screaming that a crab was about to crawl out. Instead of putting the bathtub pan on the floor, he is holding it in his hands about three feet above the ground. The crab is about to climb overboard and will surely be injured in such a fall. Everyone is screaming. The crab is going nuts. I am still naked.

I rush over, grab the crab by the shell, and feel its nasty legs scrambling wildly against my fingers. Its little pinchers are going a mile a minute and I’m picturing a very unfortunate accident. Free advice: No naked hermit crab handling!

Elsa is screaming and wants to be held. I pick her up and get a big ol’ shock when she decides she’s going to nurse, even though she hasn’t done so for almost three weeks.

Talk about being dignified. Standing in my son’s room, buck naked, crazy crab going wild in one hand while my giant 2 year old decides to attack my booby on the other side. I was not pleased. I’m sure it was quite the sight.

And no, I did not let her continue to nurse. I am not going back to that! I am so glad I don’t have to cringe every time she sits on my lap, just waiting for her to chomp down on my poor nipple. Not only is she weaned, she has slept through the night in her own room the past two nights! She has been sleeping in her own room for almost three weeks, but is finally not getting up in middle of the night. It is beyond fabulous. *knocking on all sorts of wood*

Now to get her potty trained. She is so very ready, but she just refuses to do it. Also, she has an older brother. She thinks she should be able to pee standing up. She stands there, trying to grab herself and direct the flow of things, but doesn’t have anything to grab. It’s actually kind of hilarious, except it is oh-so-wrong to see her jut out her hips in the exact same way her brother juts his out. I need a book on potty training little girls with older brothers.

Everyone wanted the recipe, so here goes! I found this online years ago and have modified it quite a bit because the originally recipe was a lot more complicated. This is not healthy, nor is it complicated (if you know how to bread chicken nuggets). I mostly eye-ball it, so this recipe is not for those who need very, very specific directions.

Ingredients:
Flour tortillas
cooked jasmine or basmati rice
sliced green onions
chopped cilantro

equal parts sour cream and mango chutney, mixed together into a sauce

boneless, skinless chicken breast
1/2 cup flour
2 T. curry powder
2 eggs
salt and pepper
2 T. lime juice
oil for frying (not olive oil)

Cut your chicken breasts into bite sized pieces and salt and pepper them to taste.

Put your flour and curry powder into a gallon ziplock bag and shake it up until it is uniform.

Crack eggs into a big, flat dish or bowl and whisk them. (The original recipe said to use coconut milk instead of eggs, but that didn’t really work for me and I didn’t find the taste to be affected enough to make it worth the effort).

Dip the chicken pieces into the whisked eggs, coating each piece. As you run out of room in the bowl, put the chicken pieces into the ziplock baggie. Make sure you drain of excess egg or you’ll end up with a mess.

As you are putting the chicken pieces into the flour bag, move them around so each piece gets coated. When all chicken is in the bag really shake it up and get all the chicken pieces evenly coated.

Heat an inch of oil in a skillet over high heat. The oil is ready when you can flick a bit of flour into the pan and it sizzles. DO NOT put the chicken in until the oil is hot!!! Otherwise you’ll end up with a greasy, soggy mess.

Once the oil is hot, scoop out the chicken pieces and shake off excess flour before putting them into the oil.

Cook over high heat for about five minutes, turn the chicken pieces, then cook about another five minutes or until the pieces are a golden brown and cooked through.

When the chicken is done, put them into a paper-towel lined dish and let some of the oil drain off. Squeeze lime juice over the chicken pieces and let sit a few minutes.

Assemble your wraps:

Lay your tortilla on the plate. Put in a scoop of rice, then lay in some chicken pieces. Top with mango sauce. Finish off with a sprinkling of green onion and cilantro. I believe the recipe also suggested adding flaked coconut and peanuts, but I never do that step.

Yummy! One of my favorites, but I don’t cook it often since it’s not all that healthy with the frying and sour cream and white rice.

I haven’t had a full physical in years because I’m afraid of the doctor. I’m not afraid of needles, blood, physical pain, being naked. I’m afraid they’ll tell me I’m fat and tell me I’m stupid and tell me if I would just eat less and exercise more that I wouldn’t be such a horrible, fat, lazy, ugly cow.

Yes, I’ve been traumatized by doctors in the past.

When I turned 38 in March I decided it was time to do something about my health. I don’t think I’m necessarily unhealthy, but I don’t know. I needed a physical to find out.

Today was the day and it went much better than I expected.

Even though the doctor was a very thin young lady, she did not berate or belittle me at all. It was a very positive experience. I asked her for an Adipex prescription and she said she would give it to me, but she wanted me to read a few things first. She also wanted me to know that 90% of her patients who went on it lost a lot of weight at first, but as soon as they stopped (and you must stop after 90 days), they gain all the weight right back PLUS some.

Though I am desperate, I am not that desperate. I know about rebounding and yo-yos. I don’t want to do that to myself.

She wants me to start weight watchers and I think I will. I need a controlled program. I need SOMETHING. I am so freakin’ depressed. I’ve been working at weight loss for the past four weeks and have managed to gain three pounds.

She also noted that it could be my thyroid but we won’t know until we get blood results back.

And she also said that people genetically have different body types and some people just have to work super hard their whole lives and will never achieve a really thin body. As long as my blood pressure, cholesterol and sugars look ok she is not overly concerned because she can tell that I exercise.

You could have knocked me over with a feather. A doctor not totally shaming me? I would have gone in a long time ago if I would have known such a thing was possible.

Also, the guy who took my blood was wonderful. He stuck the needle in so fast that I didn’t feel a thing. I was watching the whole time and didn’t even feel a prick. Elsa needs to have a blood draw so I wonder if he would be good for her. Except she hates men, so she would be screaming bloody murder before we even started. I need to call the ped and get another copy of her paperwork. Someone remind me to do that some day. She needs a lead test done because I marked down that she eats dirt. I know it is important to get it done, but I am dragging my heels because. . . well. . . blood draw. . . two year old. . . screaming bloody murder. You’d be dragging your heels, too.

It is hotter than hell out today. We are having an air quality alert so are supposed to stay inside, which is just fine with me. I’m glad I don’t have to feel guilty for not sitting outside in the head while Elsa digs around in the dirt. I hate this weather. I’m supposed to be having a little sprinkler party and guess what? Only day this week that it’s supposed to be cool(er) and rainy.

I did almost all of my grocery shopping at Target today. I don’t usually do that, but Mike stocked up on produce yesterday so there was really no reason not to get the cheaper prices. They were only missing one item–mango chutney. I must have mango chutney tonight. There’s no point in making curried Polynesian wraps without mango chutney sauce. Who wants to be my personal grocery delivery person? I guess I should wrap this entry up and run over to the store before Erik gets home.

I need to stock up on Benedryl. I hate the stuff because it knocks me out cold, but I know it has it’s uses for children. Elsa was chasing a bee around today and I actually thought I should go to the store and get some for the summer just in case she ever got stung by a bee since she was showing no fear.

So who got stung by a bee?

Erik. Mister I WILL NEVER GO NEAR A BEE AND IF I SEE ONE I WILL RUN INSIDE IMMEDIATELY AND BE DONE PLAYING FOR THE DAY.

Yeah. He has an extreme bee phobia after seeing me get stung by a wasp and a bee (separate occasions) the summer he was three.

It’s been a fun evening around here. I didn’t have any Benedryl, even after my super-special-spidey senses telling me I should get some. I tried putting honey on the sting, a new trick I read about last summer. It didn’t work. Camomile lotion didn’t work. An ice pack helped, I guess. Advil helped a little, maybe. Since I was stung so recently I can totally relate to the pain and I feel really bad for him.

What else?

Elsa has a cold.

Of course she does. We went to the gym for a week straight. Friday I was a fool and said “I’m going to be optimistic and buy a childcare pass for June!” And now Elsa is dripping nasty yellow snot everywhere.

At least we had a really nice weekend. We had some family friends over on Saturday for dinner, then they left their kid for the night. Erik and his buddy did extremely well–no fighting or shenanigans at all! In fact, they entertained each other so well that we might have to have him over for another sleep over.

Then on Sunday I went to a wine tasting. I am not a fan of wine, so this was not exactly my forte, but it was a free event with several of my friends. Anything to get out of the house for a few hours, right?

Turns out it was not really free. Yes, the tour and tasting were free, but all the food and glasses of wine were rather expensive. Except! Everyone else paid for me to thank me for my presidency, so I guess it was free. I found two wines that I liked (very sweet merlots) and even bought a couple of bottles. I was feeling pretty fine after a couple glasses of wine. As a non-drinker that was a lot of alcohol for me. I thought I might become a wine drinker after finding a wine I liked, but it does not agree with my digestive system at all. There goes my dreams of becoming a fancy wine person.

I was shocked by the number of young children running all around the winery. It is set out in the country in middle of the vineyard, but there is really nothing for kids to do. They aren’t allowed to go play among the vines. There is a grassy area that they can play on, but that’s about it.

The owner was telling us that he finds dog owners pay more attention to their dogs than parents pay attention to their kids. One toddler almost drowned after falling into a waterfall feature. An employee had to save her and her parents never even noticed, then got mad at the place for having a water feature.

I can believe the dog owners he sees are more watchful. I think the type of dog owners who take their dogs with them are the type of dog owners who treat their dogs like kids. I think the type of parents who take their kids to wineries are probably not the most responsible parents. I really liked it out there and would enjoy going back with Mike and sitting around, drinking a glass and listening to the music. Would I take my kids? Nope. I don’t need them to be around a whole group of adults who are all drinking. Most are probably just having a couple of glasses, but some were totally sloshed. On the way home we got behind a car that was leaving at the same time. It was all over the road and there was a little kid in the backseat who wasn’t even buckled in.

I just realized I have to write a speech for tomorrow. Maybe I better do that instead of sitting here writing a rambly entry. I officially hand over the reigns of MOMS Club to a new president tomorrow. Whoo-hoo!

Of course, like a fool I am also starting my job as “Big Sister” to some other local chapters. Nothing like taking one thing off my plate and adding a job that will be three times as difficult.

It’s been crazy here today. We were supposed to go to the park this afternoon, but the morning bus stop gossip said there would be thunderstorm, hail and tornadoes all day.

They weren’t lying.

I haven’t seen any hail, but the tornado warnings started about a half hour before school dismisal. I searched all over the web for information about how the school would handle the situation since the actual tornado was east of us and heading in an easterly direction. You’d think with all the technology at their disposal, someone could post a quick note on the school or county website. But noooooo. . . we had to rely on Facebook messages from other parents and sporadic phone calls to the school to figure out what was going on. I hate to call a school with 500 students to find things out because I know the secretaries can’t handle the call volume, but what else could we do? The staff was pretty short with us and didn’t really know what was going on. They told me they would only be running about ten minutes late. About 30 minutes after the bus should have arrived, another mom was able to find out that our school bus wasn’t even at the school yet because it was still transporting middle school students.

I am very glad they kept the kids home during a tornado warning. I would have been pissed if they would have sent them off on a bus in unsafe conditions. I just wish there had been better communication. It’s not like there are not resources available.

My main issue was that I didn’t want to be hanging around on the main level of the house, waiting to hear the bus. I wanted to be hunkered down in the basement in case things took a turn for the worse.

Erik got home about 45 minutes late and all was well. Unfortunately there are going to be thunderstorms all night, so I feel like we need to stay up and monitor the weather so we can move everyone downstairs if necessary.

How about a lighter topic?

I bought Erik a couple of new hermit crabs. They are social creatures and I felt sorry for his pal, Speedy. He started with three, but Slowy died within days. Switchy buried himself in the sand and has only been seen when I dig him up. I later found out that I shouldn’t dig him up–he’s preparing to molt and I am stressing him out. I put an isolation thingee around him (the top of a liter bottle) so that no one will eat him and I’m hoping for the best. That left a very lonely looking Speedy.

Now we have Lightening and Sunny. Lightening has buried himself, so maybe he’s going to molt too. All I know is, food has suddenly been missing from the dish. I don’t think the original three crabs have eaten a single bite since we brought them home in April. The crabs are such a mystery to me.

I really don’t understand how Erik can be completely terrified of spiders yet like these hermit crabs. They look like gigantic spiders to me.

What else?

Poor, poor Elsa. I took the kids in for a haircut this week and the lady butchered my baby. All her curls are gone. I want to cry.

I just wanted a little trim to even things out, but the lady gave her a total pixie undercut. I suppose it is cute, but it is not what I wanted.

Erik has been begging for a mohawk, so I decided to bite the bullet and let him get one. I told the stylist that he wanted a mowawk and Erik got a total look of horror on his face. Turns out he didn’t really want one after all. I guess he just liked arguing with me about it? Big surprise there.

He has actual been being a really good kid this week. We’ve never given him an allowance because he always has a lot of money from my mom and from scrounging around for change. My mom hasn’t sent him any money in a long time and he was whining about never having any cash. He thinks it is highly unfair that school is his work, but no one pays him for it. He doesn’t understand the concept that it’s for his own good.

At 6 1/2 it is probably time to start an allowance, so we gave him some chores and he’s been doing them. I told him he would get $5 each week if he did whatever chores I needed him to do and cleaned his room on Saturday morning. He forgot the amount and got the idea that he would be getting $100 this week. Did you hear the peals of laughter from my house?

He’s been very gung-ho about doing chores, which played in my favor yesterday. I had him help me pick up the house so I could surprise Mike with a semi-cleanish house as an anniversary present. We really know how to be romantic around here. Nine years of marriage and we didn’t even go out to dinner. It’s too hard to find a sitter around here.

Next year is our ten year. We already have plans to have my mom come out and babysit while we go to some kind of resort in the Caribbean or maybe take a cruise. We will have romance one of these days!

Our toddler is no longer in our bed, so that should help in that department anyway. Just what you wanted to know.

Elsa hasn’t had any boob in almost two weeks, but she is still asking for it. She even tried to stealth nurse when I was changing my clothes earlier tonight. She’s not sleeping through the night, either, but even with a couple of wake-ups each night I am still getting a ton more sleep than I was before. I think the black bags under my eyes might even be shrinking.

Ok, time for me to go to bed. I’m going to cuddle up with my Kindle and read more of the latest Flewelling. I always like her books, but I’m enjoying this one even more than I liked the last two in the Nightrunner Series.

Mike’s vacation goals have been met. I just put Elsa to bed. In her bed. Without me holding her. Without me nursing her. SHE FELL ASLEEP IN HER BED.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know many of you expect your children to do that on their own anyway. We are attachment parents (even though I’ve never read anything by Dr. Sears and don’t believe that there is one correct parenting style). She’s been sleeping in our bed since the beginning. When she was really little she would sleep in a moses basket, but she outgrew that pretty quickly.

Now, if she would just sleep through the night we’d be golden. She’s been waking up a couple of times a night, which isn’t so bad I guess. I think she’d sleep better if we’d get a fan in here, but I can’t seem to remember to buy one when we are out and about. That’s the bad thing about living in a three story townhouse. The top floor is always hella-hot and the basement is always freezing.

Erik is having a sleepover tonight. I know he will be just fine, but it feels weird not to have him around. Mike is off at a D. C. United soccer game. I got him tickets for his birthday. I didn’t realize I was buying them from a resale place (StubHub) so it was a bit of a surprise when the tickets arrived and had a different name on them. Mike and his buddy are convinced they won’t be able to get into the game, but I told them it’s a soccer game, not an airplane ride.

Elsa hasn’t had any boob since Sunday! She was asking for it tonight, but was easily distracted. I think we can officially say she is weaned! It is good, except for the horrific change in her pooping patterns. She used to poop at 1 pm. If we were very unlucky she would poop around bedtime, but that was pretty rare. I seriously do not remember ever changing a dirty diaper while we were out since she’s been in disposables (and she’s been in disposables exactly a year).

This week? She is a poop machine. I’ve had to change at least 7 diapers in public, in my van, or at friends’ houses. I can’t seem to keep enough wipes in my diaper bag. She has been eating a can of beans every day, so it’s not been pleasant.

My friend had her pool set up tonight and it was hilarious to watch the difference between her kids and my kids. My kids are. . . shall we say. . . not dainty. She has a “family size” wading pool in a rectangular shape. Elsa hopped right in and began pouring water over her friend’s head. Her friend, another two year old, freaked the heck out and refused to stay in the pool. It was too cold and she didn’t like the water.

Erik and his little buddy were doing jumps into the pool. They were running a long way, then jumping over the side and sliding across the bottom of the pool (splashing Elsa in the process). Elsa thought this was the most hilarious thing ever and would jump when they jumped. The other little girl thought she was being torturted by the Spanish Inquisition. Erik’s jumps were insane. I think he has a future in the triple jump. He could easily clear the side of the pool and land half-way across it. His little friend is much more timid and would run up to the very edge, stop, then do a small little hop across the side.

Erik may not have great handwriting or be able to focus well at school. He may hate drawing. But man, oh man, is that kid full of physical prowess. I took my camera, but the battery was at home charging. Doh!

Speaking of school. Grrrrrrr. His teacher said exactly what I thought she’d say in response to my e-mail about Erik’s hearing. I honestly don’t think he has a problem with his hearing, but I was trying to politely tell her to speak up. He never once has a problem hearing the sub as far as I know.

So she will try to enunciate more clearly, but Erik’s only hearing problem is “selective hearing” and a refusal to focus on the subject at hand. I honestly can’t say she’s wrong, but I find her attitude extremely off-putting for a kindergarten teacher. I’m trying to figure out if she’s like this with all the kids or if she has a special dislike of Erik. I think he’s a really charming, personable kid who is well liked by many adults but I can see how a teacher would find him exhausting and frustrating. I find him exhausting and frustrating. It’s hard to be an authority figure to a child who questions everything, has his own ideas and refuses to go with the flow. Those are all qualities we admire in adults (most of the time), but are very difficult to deal with in a small child.

Ok, maybe I will risk going downstairs and watching a little TV. It is very nerve wracking to be two floors away from Elsa. I need to find the baby monitor.