The Queen's Rambles

I finally finished re-reading HP4. I started before Christmas. I have no idea why it took so long, except I didn’t want to drag the book to Sweden and then I got several books for Christmas that I wanted to read.

Everything makes so much more sense now that I’ve read the whole series. JK Rowling really had a plan in mind. I think I better start book 5 tonight and keep the momentum going, even though I prefer the earlier books. I like happy and books 5-7 are anything but happy.

I think I’m going to give up on the book my friend recommended–The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk. I think the author’s name says it all. She is not an author. She is a thinker and activist. I guess. I don’t know much about her, I just know she can’t write fiction that makes sense. I’ve only read a couple chapters, but the point-of-view keeps shifting mid-paragraph which annoys the hell out of me. I’d consider myself a good read (hello! English major!) so if I can’t follow along I think it’s the author’s problem, not mine.

In other news. . .

What other news? Nothing going on here. Erik had preschool today, which was a very good thing. He was on my last nerve, but that’s nothing new. I thought I was going to smack him when he came home from school and said in the snottiest, rudest voice ever “Mommy, hang up my coat RIGHT NOW.”

You can bet your sweet bippy we had words and he was soon grovelling. Guess he thought he had to try out being an asshole and see what would happen. Testing boundaries is oh-so-much fun!

It’s funny how much we evolve as mothers as our children evolve into little people instead of blobs of screaming flesh. I used to get so upset and feel so guilty when I would have to set a hard limit, but those feelings of guilt are loooooooong gone. Now that he is a fairly rational being I expect him to behave fairly rationally. I am generally really pleased with his good manners and behavior (he was impressing the heck out of the old ladies at the grocery store today. He loves to wish people a nice day.), but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t drive me up a wall sometimes. I just wish my fuse wasn’t so short these days.

I got all the blocks sewn for my latest quilt. It’s just a small baby quilt from a kit. I’ve lost all confidence in my ability to choose colors and patterns. I think read too many quilting blogs and see too many beautiful things. I liked quilting better when I was more isolated and didn’t know what amazing things other people were doing. That’s always my problem. I probably need a therapist. I always want to be the best and if I can’t be the best I quit. I’d like to say there’s no such thing as “best” in crafting, but that’s not exactly true. Some people are much more creative, focused and driven than others. I am not really all that creative or driven. I don’t know. I am just feeling bummed about my lack of pretty. Stupid green eyed monster. I wish he’d stay away.

Anyway, maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to get the quilt top done. I’ll have to bribe Mike to fuse the parts together so I can quilt it, but at least it will be easy to quilt. I have another quilt all ready to go, but am dreading the actual quilting. My usual diagonal grid won’t look right on it, but I may have to give up and do it that way anyway.

Erik wants to know how it feels to be inside my tummy. I’ve told him it’s hot, wet, dark and tight. He doesn’t believe me. Any other ideas? We wrapped him up really tight in a quilt to try to show him, but he didn’t really make the connection.

It was so nice to get out of the house this weekend! I am sick of this snow, but it has been really warm the past few days so the piles are dwindling. Parts of the sidewalks are even totally clear, which is great for both pedestrians and drivers. Except you know what happens when several feet of snow melts? Garbage suddenly appears. So, so nasty.

We went to a very low-key birthday party yesterday–just five little boys running wild. Four of the moms were part of our co-op preschool, so it was really nice to visit with them. I realized the other day that I have known one of the ladies over four years. That’s some sort of record! We’ve lived in G’Town for almost five years. We’re settled. I love it. Life is so much easier when you have familiar faces that you run into occasionally, or people you can call on when you need help. I’ve known this one particular lady since I joined that first awful moms group. In fact, I only stuck around because I really liked her and didn’t want to lose touch. We usually see each other a couple of times a month these days. Pretty impressive when you consider that she is working full time this school year.

The party was interesting in some ways. The dad of the kid is kind of strange. If I was the betting type, I’d throw down a hundred dollar bill that the man has undiagnosed Asperger’s. The child is a little off as well, but he seemed a lot better yesterday. I think real preschool has been a major benefit to him.

The weirdest thing was the sword fight.

The dad had two foam swords and decided to teach the boys how to fence. Apparently he’d been a fencer (no idea on the terminology) in college. As you can imagine the boys LOVED it, but it didn’t end well. I know I’m a stick in the mud, but foam swords and preschool boys just don’t mix in my world.

Today we went over to our Dr. Saturn’s house. It was nice to get out of here, but boy oh boy do I feel sorry for Dr. S. Her son, Irish Lad, has major eating issues. She has always wanted to just starve him out–give him his food and he can eat it or be hungry. Her husband has always been very against this idea, but after some prodding from the pediatrician and trying a few other methods, he’s finally agreed to food boot camp. I have no idea how it will go, but it certainly can’t make things worse.

Just one little problem: you know what happens when kids don’t eat? They get cranky. I finally had to leave because I couldn’t take it any more. I’m glad my friend gets to send her son to daycare during the day or I don’t think they’d both be standing by next weekend. When Erik drives me crazy, I just have to think about this boy and how I would be driven to an insane asylum if I had to deal with him.

On the good side, my friend showed me a bunch of different types of cloth diapers and has some she can sell me if we decide we want them. This is the paragraph non-cloth diapering people can skip. I just learned all these terms. I definitely don’t want to do prefolds with a cover. That looks really messy. I could see doing a pocket diaper and I may try that out. The big winner, though, seems to be an all-in-two. Instead of sticking the insert in the pocket, you snap it into the diaper. It looks like the simplest, most effective cloth diapering method. Of course, the all-in-one would be even simpler, but I hear they are a bear to get dry. I also hear that I should avoid velcro. Snaps are the way to go. So maybe we have a plan. I can’t believe I am even considering this.

I can certainly see why it is tempting to sew your own. It doesn’t seem that difficult. Dear lord almighty, I do NOT want to get that into it. I don’t know why I have such resistance to that idea, but I do. All these money saving ideas always turn into huge time sucks. I need to give myself permission to spend money on these diapers because we will be saving a load of money even if I don’t sew them myself. Guilt be gone!

Ok, enough of that.

We got a flier about t-ball the other day. Is it really time to start thinking about organized sports? The price is certainly right compared to other sports programs around here, but after some nosing around I don’t think I’m ready to make a t-ball commitment. There would be two games a week plus practices. The practices are totally up to the coach. I don’t have time to be hauling Erik around to four or five t-ball events every week. I know that is the only way to really practice a sport, but yikes! I’m not ready to be mother an over scheduled child.

I am ready to become a minivan mom! I finally started looking around online to see what I could find out. I thought I wanted a Toyota Sienna because they are quite a bit cheaper than the Honda Odyssey, but do I really want a Toyota? I bet we could make a deal, but would we survive the aftermath? Also, Toyota doesn’t make a blue mini-van. They have about a million shades of black, silver and gold, but no blue. What’s so wrong with a pretty blue van?

I’m going to visit Honda while Erik is in school tomorrow and see if I can get a better handle on what I want/need and how much it will cost. I hate car shopping. Oh how I hate it. The Saturn is a piece of shit and I know I am not going to love getting both kids into the back of the car. I don’t know when we’ll have time to actually buy this van. Erik has a make-up swim class next Saturday, then we’re supposed to go down to DC and have dinner with one of Mike’s long lost cousins. Do they even have child friendly restaurants in DC? Not like Chuck E. Cheese or something, but just a place where the people won’t glare at a fairly well behaved four year old?

My poor little boy is suffering from anxiety, I’m afraid. Not that he could articulate that, but lately he is obsessed with talking about my Grandma. Every morning he announces “My Granny is dead.” Then he might go on to explain that she was old and sick and died. Or that she flew in an airplane up to the clouds. Or that we are never going to see her again. It is heart breaking, really. I let him believe she flew up in an airplane to the clouds. I have no idea what the afterlife, if there even is one, is like, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t involve airplanes. I’m not sure where he got that idea, but he’s four. He can believe whatever makes the most sense in his head. He has lots of years ahead of him to grapple with the big questions in life.

I had totally forgotten that we went to see Grandma in the hospital in July. Yesterday he started talking about her being in the hospital and that’s where the airplane came to get her and he doesn’t want me to go to the hospital to have the baby because the airplane will get me.

Shit!

I’m glad he started talking about it so I could do my best to reassure him that I won’t be going on an airplane to the clouds. I wonder if this is part of the reason he has been coming in to sleep with us and why he wants to constantly be on me. Today he said he wants the baby out of my tummy so he can be wrapped up in my tummy.

I wish I was a lot wiser and knew what to say, but I am just human. I’m just stumbling my way through the answers, trying to reassure him that it will all be ok, even though I can’t even really make that promise. It most likely will be ok, but what if it isn’t? I don’t even want to go there.

In better news, my mom’s tickets are booked! She’s going to be here for a whole month. Yikes! I’m excited and know she will be helpful, but a month is a long time for a house guest.

Due to the economy she is down to two cleaning jobs a week. She’s totally stressed out because of my dad and my sister. They take and take and take and take and take. Do they ever give anything back? Hells to the no. I’m glad we’re able to provide her a safe, happy place for a mini-vacation from her life. If it was up to me she would walk away from them and never go back, but that’s not a realistic expectation. Her other grandkids really need her. She is the only stabilizing force in their lives.

My sister is already bitching about me “stealing her mama” for a month. She has no idea how she will get along without her. I guess she’ll have to grow the hell up and act like a 33 year old instead of a 17 year old (sorry to insult mature 17 year olds).

My mom was totally excited to hear that we might give cloth diapering a try. She wanted to do it with Braxton but couldn’t find diapers, rubber pants or diaper pins. She was telling me that I need to get a bar of soap to store the diaper pins in so they will slide in the cloth better.

I was trying so hard not to laugh. I know she is clueless about modern cloth diapering. It has been over 30 years since she’s used cloth diapers. They are just not something you see in a place like Klamath Falls. I was trying to explain to her about diapers that just use snaps or velcro and come as all-in-ones so you don’t have to buy rubber pants or pins. She couldn’t conceive of the idea. I suppose I should send her a link to a picture. Not that she ever checks her e-mail.

Ok, we’re off to lunch. I really hope they have prime rib sandwiches today.

I tried really hard to find some drama or something weird to report. I think all the people I hang out with are too normal. We went to the recycling plant with our MOMS Club and had fun. The official presentation was not geared toward preschoolers at all. Erik was the oldest kid there and the most talkative. The guy giving the tour had no clue how to handle him and wouldn’t tell him to just be quiet and wait his turn. It was sort of embarrassing, especially when he declared to the whole group “I’m smart because I have lots of brains.” His new favorite thing to say, btw. I think I’ve mentioned that before.

If your life seems craptacular, take a moment to reflect on the job you could have. You could be sorting through people’s nasty trash 40 hours a week *gag gag gag*. I felt so sorry for the sorters! It didn’t smell too bad, but that’s only because it was really cold. They say it is horrible in the summer and I believe it.

You wouldn’t think a recycling plant would stink that bad since you’re supposed to wash your stuff before putting it in the bin. I think we may be the only family in the county that takes that rule seriously. I couldn’t believe some of the stuff we were seeing go by. People are nasty.

Anyway, the plant was really cool because it is totally set up for tours. You can drop by any time you want to go up and take a look. They have a catwalk with a Plexiglas barrier all around the equipment so you can stand up there as long as you want and watch everything. Erik loved it. I didn’t love it, but it was pretty interesting. Did you now that 50% of all polyester carpet made in the US is made from recycled bottles? Recycling really is useful!

Erik had swim class again tonight, which was a good thing. He has been begging for swim class for two weeks. We have class at the same time as one of my good friends. I didn’t plan it that way, but I thought it was a nice coincidence. Her son is in a more advanced class since they’ve been going for months.

Whoa.

I knew she was a competitive person and approaches parenting in a very different way than I do, but I didn’t realize how that would translate into something like swimming lessons.

I thought we’d probably sit around and visit, but she spends the whole 30 minutes intensely watching her son and yelling out criticisms and encouragements. When he’s supposed to swim a little bit, she gets up and walks along the side of the pool, clapping and yelling.

That is so not my style. I guess when Erik gets to the point where he has to swim the length of the pool I will cheer him on, but in general I don’t feel it is my job to correct him or chastise him. I’m paying good money for a professional teacher. I sit down and watch the show, waving at him occasionally and giving him a thumbs up when he looks my way. I have no desire to interfere with the teacher’s discipline.

Tangent: Ice skating must be really hard. All these guys keep falling down.

Remember all my worry about what to dress the baby in? Problem solved. One of my MOMS Club friends gave me two big bags full of spring and summer clothes! Lots and lots of cute, practical clothes. Whew! I don’t have to have an anxiety attack in Kohls any time soon.

Also, thank you SO MUCH for all the cloth diapering info. It is so hard to know how to prepare for something like this (if we decide to do it) because so much depends on the baby. We tried all the different diapers with Erik and Huggies were the only ones that didn’t leak/blow out all the time. I’ve had other people tell me they hate Huggies, but I guess they were shaped just right for Erik’s body.

My real life friend says she has newborn diapers I can have (I offered to pay, though) if I want to try it out. We shall see. I can’t decide anything at this point. My brain is too mushy.

I haven’t been to the gym in almost three weeks. I am feeling really flabby and gross. I may try to go tomorrow, round ligament pains be damned. I hate poking my leg and feeling it go soft. I may be big, but I’m usually hard and muscular (except for my stomach).

It was so nice to have some sense of normality back in our day today. Preschool! Whoo-hoo! Now, will someone send me lots of money so I can sign him up for a summer full of camps? I signed him up for one two-week session. I think that will be the extent of his summer camp experience. I’m not looking forward to summer. Not at all.

In other news, I had an OB appointment today. I had to take Erik with me, but it turned out ok. He was fascinated by the heartbeat and helped the doctor read the numbers. He also told the doctor he was really smart and has lots of brains. Nothing like a humble child.

The subject of my weight finally came up. I’ve gained three pounds. Whoo-hoo! Apparently this is not a good thing when you’re 31 weeks pregnant. I explained my theory that I’m losing muscle mass and that seemed to be acceptable. I expect I’ll plump up big time in the next two months. I have been having really terrible round ligament pains when I walk, stand or stretch wrong. Elliptical? Not such a good idea. I am not pleased. I was doing so great until the gym childcare was shut down for two weeks because of the snow! Boo. I think I may go in and try to work out anyway and maybe it will loosen things up or something. I don’t know.

Also, can we start a count down? Unless Elsa has other plans, she will be born on April 13! I know it is silly, but I love that the kids will have birthdays exactly six months apart.

Erik was so excited about this appointment I think I’m going to take him to the ultrasound. It’s just at my regular OB office so I feel like I can take him. I’ve had my other two done at the high risk/fertility clinic and after reading so many infertility blogs I felt like it would be really tacky to take him with me. But the regular OB? Well, sorry if there are any infertile women in the crowd, but the office is always full of pregnant women so there’s not a lot I can do to not hurt their feelings.

Thanks for all the responses about cloth diapering! I had no idea so many of you were doing cloth diapers. I suppose that’s because you are not all obsessed with it, which makes me a lot more comfortable with the idea. I just can’t see myself hanging out at forums that require you to use a bunch of blinkies to describe your parenting views. I don’t do blinkies. Ever.

I guess Mike and I need to revisit this discussion. I just can’t believe the cost of a box of diapers! I am not good at all those crazy coupon deals. Math hurts my head.

So what kind of diapers do you use? What do you like about them? What don’t you like? How many do you need? I suppose I should talk to my RL friend about all this, but she’ll have me behind her serger, sewing bamboo velour and embroidering rockets on the butt. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (she has super cute diapers), but I don’t have time to get excited about serging and embroidering. I can’t let myself get caught up in anything more than ordering X amount of diapers and calling it good.

I went down to the mall while Erik was in school and picked up his giant portrait. Oh. My. God. It is GIANT! At least he likes it. Again, not a humble child.

While I was picking it up I ran into a friend from the MOMS Club and she wanted to look. I was so embarrassed to have her think I spent a million dollars on a giant picture of my kid. In reality I only spent $60 which was still probably too much. But, as Heather has said, I can get a giant picture of Elsa when she’s 4 and it will be our “thing” and it will be ok. Right? I shouldn’t be embarrassed because I think my kid is handsome.

We don’t have any Catholic blood in our family, but we seem to be full of Catholic guilt. I feel so guilty when I spend money on things like this.

I need a new and exciting adventure to come up. I am boring even myself. There is only so much that goes on when you stay at home all day and think about entertaining your older kid and buying clothes for you unborn child. I have no freakin’ clue how to dress a summer girl baby. Do they make little summer rompers for little tiny girls? Gymboree didn’t have anything I liked. The summer clothes didn’t seem particularly baby friendly. I am all about comfort for a little newborn, probably because my own skin is so sensitive. The dresses they had seemed too harsh and scratchy. Plus, I don’t like babies with regular shirts anyway because they just bunch up under the armpits. Onsies are a must, but do you just stick them in a onsie with no bottoms? It is so hot here in the summer, but no bottom seems unfinished. I suppose I need to go to Kohls and Pennys next month and check out their spring/summer stuff. They’ll probably have more realistic clothes.

I am going to try really hard to have a fun adventure tomorrow just so I can have better blog fodder. We’re going on a tour of the recycling plant and Erik has swim class, so surely someone will do something crazy that I can report on.

I guess a big part of my problem is that I never want to post anything about people I actually know. That’s bit me in the butt too many times. I have some crazy stories about crazy things, but. . . the lip? It is zipped. Or would that be the fingers?

I’ve had a horrible taste in my mouth for months. I’m tired of it. I would like to provide Mike with a hot meal each evening and have been working hard on doing so (not so much working as in cooking–working as in motivating myself to think of something to cook). It is so strange to have such a lack of interest in food.

We had quite a night last night. If you recall, Erik was sick a couple of weeks ago and started sleeping with us again. After he got better we had a long talk about what a brave, big boy he was and he was back in his own bed through the night. Hallelujah!

Except last night he crawled back into our bed, claiming to be scared.

I was strong. I took him back to his room and laid with him for-freakin’-ever until he went back to sleep.

Ten minutes later he was back in our bed, saying he was scared. By that time I gave up and he just slept with us. Ugh.

He must have wore himself out because he slept till 9 am. I can’t complain about that!

Tonight I made sure he had his pal Fluffy, so hopefully Fluffy can give him courage if he wakes in middle of the night. I can’t do the co-sleeping thing. No no no no no no.

I can’t stand to think of him laying in his bed, scared. But I also want some sleep. Quite the conundrum.

I braved Wal-Mart today. *shudder* I hate our Wal-Mart. It is totally ghetto, dirty and crowded. I wanted to check out prices on baby gear. Turns out they don’t have jack shit. I did buy some necessities like butt paste and diapers. My eyes about fell out of my head when I saw the diaper prices. They’ve gone up considerably in the past four years! Maybe we need to reconsider the cloth diaper option. Do you know how badly I don’t want to cloth diaper? My best friend here is a cloth diaper person and it seems like a total pain in the ass. Not that she complains. She loves it and wouldn’t have it any other way.

Maybe I would have time to cloth diaper if it didn’t seem to come with an automatic obsession with sewing your own diapers, buying snap presses and hanging out at cloth diapering boards. Not that there’s anything wrong with that *looks at my CD friends*, but it just doesn’t appeal to me at all.

In other news, today was great! We were able to get out of the house! Finally, things are open! We went to the Romp ‘n Roll where Erik was the only “kid.” He was really mad because all the rest of the patrons were babies. I never thought I’d start going to things like that and have the big kid instead of the little baby. My how things change.

He also had his gym class. Can I get a high five? Peace! Sweet, sweet peace! Tomorrow he has school, so I’ll be doing the happy preschool dance.

I have no idea what I’m going to do this summer with a newborn and a preschooler. Mike said I could put him in a two week session of half-day summer camp. That’s only two weeks. I have a lot more weeks I have to get through. This summer is really going to suck, isn’t it?

At least the snow will be melted. What a pain in the butt. I don’t want it to melt too fast since that is a recipe for a big flood, but I am tired of looking at piles of snow everywhere. A lot of places don’t have their parking lots cleared, which makes things interesting. It’s hard to see around corners when driving. We have an awning over our front porch that is dripping water right on our step, causing a thick pile of super slippery ice. I am going to kill myself.

I did find a bag of rock salt at Wal-Mart and that seems to be helping. I thought rock salt just meant that it was big rock-like chunks of salt, but apparently it means that it also has rocks in it. Or at least this bag also had a lot of sand and rocks mixed into the salt. Nice! I was thinking I should raid Erik’s sandbox and sand down the step, but the rock salt is a better bet.

I lead a thrilling life! Rock salt and bad tastes in my mouth. Does it get any more exciting? Not that I am asking for exciting. Two of my bloggy friends are having excitement, but not of the positive kind. I am quite happy to lead a boring life if it means I am healthy, my family is healthy and everything is on track. I feel so bad for my friends. That’s the one thing I hate about blogging. I want to reach out to these women and do something tangible like babysit or take over a meal, but that’s just not possible.

Happy Valentine’s Day! I got a super sweet Valentine from Erik. Of course, I sort of made it, but he directed me. He did do all the cutting and some of the writing. I forget how excited little kids can get about things. He’s been totally hopped up about Valentine’s all day, mainly because Ruby of Max and Ruby fame makes Valentines in one episode.

Really, we didn’t do much to celebrate. I flexed all my creative muscles and made a pancake heart. Then Erik made Valentine’s for all his Oregon relatives. He totally made me cry because he wanted to make his Granny (my grandma) a card. When I told him she died (he talks about that once in a while), he said that was ok. We could just put it outside and it would fly up to the sky and she would read it there. I really have no idea what to tell him about death and all that jazz. I guess if that’s what he wants to believe right now, that’s what I’ll let him believe. There’s plenty of time for him to come to his own conclusions about death, life, religion and all that jazz.

We spent a lot of time at Ikea, looking for the perfect dresser. We ended up with a giant six drawer chest, which will suit our needs perfectly, but dwarfs our other furniture. I’m just glad to have something that can be filled to the gills. I want to get the baby clothes put away, pronto! My friend brought me another garbage bag stuffed with clothes yesterday. I need to go through it and return what I don’t think we’ll use. She had a winter baby and we’re having a spring baby so I don’t think I am going to want a lot of the stuff that I’ve seen her daughter wear. It is all super cute, but wool knit leggings in July aren’t going to work.

I totally over did it at Ikea and really stretched out some of my innards. I put myself on bed rest for the rest of the afternoon/evening and am feeling a lot better. I was starting to get a little bit worried.

I subscribed to NetFlix a couple of weeks ago and am really liking the streaming video. I don’t care to watch movies on my laptop, but it is pretty nice when I need to be alone and laying down. Netflix to the rescue! I’ve already watched a couple of movies (Made of Honor–cheezy and Then She Found Me–pretty good). I don’t even know what movies I’ve missed in the past four years.

I have a question for all you moms. How independent do you expect your four year old to be? I expect Erik to get his own water when he is thirsty (cups are in a low cabinet, we have a water dispenser in the freezer door). I expect him to help me sort out the whites when we do laundry and empty the lint trap (if he is down there, he doesn’t always come down). I expect him to hand me his coat and gloves when we come in the house, not just throw them on the floor (he can’t reach the hooks). I expect him to put his dirty clothes in the hamper or the dirty clothes pile (he usually needs reminding, which is fine because I need reminding too). I expect him to take his dirty dishes into the kitchen and put them on the counter. I expect him to help me vacuum when he makes a mess (don’t expect him to do it well, but he has to make an effort). I expect him to go get his own easily accessible snack when he asks for it. I expect him to throw his own garbage away. If there is something of his that needs to be carried and it isn’t too heavy, I expect him to carry it. I expect him to get from point A to point B on his own. I do not carry him at all. Not that he would let me.

We haven’t had any problems with him doing those things. Sometimes he has to be reminded, but he rarely throws a fit about any of it. He enjoys his independence and really likes helping out. In fact, he has a whole list of other things he would really like to do that I consider too dangerous/messy (make his own pancakes, chop vegetables, do the whole laundry routine by himself).

I’ve been told I’m a little harsh with him. I don’t know. Sometimes I guess I do talk harsh to him, but if he is capable of doing those things, why not let him? I’m not going to be one of those ladies who serves my 40 year old pizza in the basement. When he’s old enough, I envision him getting an after school job and buying his own wants. I don’t know how well that will actually work. If it interferes with his grades I wouldn’t want him to do it. He might also be really involved in sports or other extracurriculars that are more important for his college admission so I can’t make any long reaching parenting decisions about something that won’t even be possible for 12 years.

I don’t mind be a hard ass, but I honestly don’t think I am. I think I’m too easy on him a lot of times. He still spends a lot of time on my lap being cuddled. It’s just interesting to see other people’s parenting styles.

We got out of the house today! I was thinking of going to the indoor pool, but I heard it was going to be packed. We went to the mall instead. Not quite the same, but since we are both still fairly snotty it was probably better all around. Don’t need to be the people blowing boogers into the swimming pool, right?

We ate lunch at the Silver Dollar Diner. GAG! Please remind me never to eat there again. I got a hot turkey sandwich. Pretty hard to ruin. I don’t even mind fake mashed potatoes and canned gravy when I’m pregnant. When I’m not pregnant? No. When I am pregnant, I like gross, old fashioned comfort food. But this gravy was nasty, with carrots and celery. And it was red. Sorta. Ewwwwwww! I didn’t even eat half of it. I thought a sit down restaurant would beat the food court, but I was oh-so-very wrong. I still have a nasty taste in my mouth and it was four hours ago.

I was naughty and went into Gymboree! I only bought three things, shirts on clearance for under $3. I don’t think any one can begrudge me $3 Gymboree shirts. I have a big bin of Gymboree clothes downstairs that I need to wash and start listing on eBay. The Gymboree moms are INSANE. They want all the clothes and don’t care how much they have to pay. I’m just kind of waiting for my last ultrasound to make sure I’m really, really having a girl.

Our main goal was to pick up the giant ass Erik picture, but it wasn’t in yet. I thought the date said “Feb. 1-2” but I guess it really said “Feb 12.” Bit of a difference. Even though today is the 12th, all the mail is delayed so I’ll have to go back down next week.

We also stopped by Great Beginnings, a super fancy baby super store. I hate going in there. I am always content with what we have and our not-so-consumery lifestyle until I go in a store like that. I have to admit, those $1200 strollers are NICE. Those fancy, $400 crib sets are CUTE. I wants! I can’t have. It is impractical and wasteful, but the showroom sure does know how to do its job.

I only went in because they have a large selection of kids’ drawer pulls. Erik’s armoire has been missing a knob since we moved, so I decided it was time to do something proactive about making the room feel a little cuter.

The knobs I wanted that would have looked really cute? $11.99. I think not.

The knobs Erik wanted that annoy the hell out of me? $1.99 on final clearance.

Guess what we bought? Now he has ugly train knobs in his space/animal themed room. Dandy.

I also ended up getting Erik a real wooden rocking chair that had been marked down to a barely affordable price. He was in love with it and for the price I paid I feel like I got a good deal. He says he is going to sit in it and rock the baby. We shall see. He used to have a little foam couch that he would sit on, but after years of abuse it fell apart. I hope he decides to sit in his rocker some. Normally he likes to perch on the arm of my chair, while laying on his stomach, sort of sprawled over me. I don’t mind it in the mornings, but by about 4 pm I am d-o-n-e. Mama needs her space.

I really wish I could get this horrible taste out of my mouth. Ice cream, toothpaste, Listerine and potato chips haven’t done the trick.

I’m so glad I’m not on bed rest. My friend was on bed rest for 20 weeks. Can you even imagine? I’ve been home bound since Friday morning. That’s five days. I’ve been able to go outside most days. I’ve been able to walk around the house, doing whatever I want. I’m going freaking INSANE. How would I ever do bed rest?

Of course, having a very active child suddenly halt all activities hasn’t made this any easier. Will we ever get to go back to school or the gym or the open gyms or the park or a restaurant or SOMEWHERE? Certainly not tomorrow. Probably not Friday. Maybe this weekend? Then it is supposed to snow again on Monday. Do you see my middle finger, Mother Nature? Because I’m pointing it right at you.

I have a quilt top finished and my batting arrived last week, so I decided I could go ahead and fuse the layers together and possibly think about quilting it. I don’t want to quilt it because the pattern recommends free motion quilting. I haven’t done that in years. I think Kisha’s almost three year old daughter has the last quilt that I did any free motion quilting with. I don’t know what to do.

Anyway, I laid the batting down on the floor, then crawled around on my hands and knees, making sure the backing was really straight. Then I tried to stand up and had horrible, horrible pain.

Luckily I didn’t put the phone away this morning so it was laying on the bed and I was able to crawl over and call Mike using the intercom feature. I didn’t explain what was going on, just asked him to help me. I think he was a little irritated when I told him to come quick. Sometimes I call him and he takes a few minutes because he is finishing up whatever it is he is doing. That’s almost always ok since I usually need help doing stupid stuff. That wouldn’t have worked today. I don’t think he was expecting to get upstairs and find his pregnant wife curled up on the floor, crying.

Poor Erik was a little scared, but mostly excited. “Is baby Elsa coming now! Is she coming now!”

She wasn’t, but that might have been less painful.

Eventually we were able to get me in the bed, then Mike went above and beyond the call of duty and fused my quilt sandwich together. I guess I have no choice but to try to quilt it soonish.

Erik has decided he wants several baby brothers and sisters and he wants all the cribs in his room. He’s certainly changed his tune. We’ll see how excited he is when the baby is here, squalling her head off and taking all my attention.

The poor boy is just as restless as I am. Today he informed me, very sadly, that he’s never watched so much TV in his life. So very true. We’ve been playing games and doing other things, but the days are long when you can’t go anywhere. We couldn’t really even go outside today because the wind was nasty. It was a mess out there–true blizzard, white out conditions. I hear they ordered all the plows off the roads for a big part of the day because there was no visibility.

He shocked me tonight and wanted to go to bed an hour early. He didn’t get any argument there. I don’t know if he is still feeling a little sick or if he was just bored of being awake. I know I’m bored. In fact, why am I still awake?

I didn’t realize there was a new LOST last night (no spoilers). At least that gave me something exciting to watch tonight. Now I can spend the day tomorrow reading all the forums and trying to figure things out.

The side effect of being cooped up in the house all day is a slowly draining bank account. It’s not like the old days when being home meant your money was safe from impulse purchases. I have nothing to do but surf the internet and yell at Erik.

Btw, Kisha, Mike is so going to kick your ass. Back story for those not following comments yesterday: Kisha (same_sky), suggested I give Erik dried beans to play with. She has a sweet little girl. I have a not so sweet boy. But! I did happen to have a tub filled with a ten pound bag of dried pinto beans and various measuring cups. I also have a shower curtain that I use to cover the floor. I got this idea from another lady with a sweet little girl. Erik never gets to play with his beans because he is way too naughty.

Anyway, at first he tried really hard to keep the beans on the plastic and be appropriate. By the time ten minutes had elapsed he was over being a good boy. He piled all the beans in the center of the plastic and would launch off the couch, jumping into the middle of the beans and sending them everywhere. At this point I was so bored and cranky I didn’t even care. My only concern was that he would bruise the shit out of his knees. Isn’t there some book about a psycho mother who makes her kids kneel on dried peas and pray for hours?

All that to say, when Mike got home he had to face a house of beans, a cranky wife, and a depleted bank account.

Actually, I didn’t buy anything. Except just now I spent a nice chunk of change at Hanna Andersson, but how can I resist buying $10 shirts and dresses? I would happily pay that for used HA clothes, so scoring that price on new stuff is amazing! Elsa has a sweet Christmas dress now! How will I ever find something for Erik that matches?

This is so disjointed.

Anyway, I discovered that my brilliant plan of hanging all Elsa’s clothes is not going to work. She has way too many clothes and we don’t have enough hangers/closet space. And most of those clothes? Are newborn size. So I don’t think they’ll even be used much, if at all. Erik was way too big for the newborn size, but she’ll be early instead of late.

I think we’re going to have to get Elsa a dresser. I’ve been trying to think of ways to avoid buying one, but all our dressers are in use. My new plan is to put the changing table in our room, the dresser of fabric somewhere else (no idea where), and the clothes dresser in Erik’s room.

I’ve found two that I want. If I was a less restrained person I would have ordered one and then bore the wrath of Mikey. I knew he would say no. He should say no. The price is not in our budget. But I wants! Oh how I wants! Why can’t I have cute things?

My first choice is only about $800. Oh, how I would love to do a kids room with all this stuff! HERE. Never going to happen, though.

My second choice is a much more reasonable $600. It’s not as cute, but it would still be fun in Erik’s room HERE.

Sigh.

Guess we’ll end up going with some cheap, white dresser thing. I just want cute! Is that so wrong?

Thank you guys for all the comments and conversations yesterday! It really did help the day go by faster, though I have to admit that by six o’clock I was crying and frustrated. I just wanted to be left alone, but do you think my son knows how to leave me alone? “But mommy, I just love you and want you and want to sit with you!”

At least Mike is home today, though he plans to hole up and write a paper. He’s supposed to present this paper at a space conference in April. Ha! I guess his boss or one of his co-workers can present it.