The Queen's Rambles

When Erik has having a fit about not going on the train yesterday, I became evil wife and told him that daddy would take him on the train today. “Daddy and you can ride the train to the zoo!” It didn’t help the temper tantrum at that time, but he has a great memory and was all prepared for his train ride today.

I don’t know how Mike felt about such a promise, but he should be happy. They were gone for five hours. I feel human again. If I didn’t get some much needed me time, I would have voluntarily committed myself to a mental institution. Then where would he be? Up a creek without a nanny.

It was glorious to sit around and not have a child on me. I didn’t have to bark orders. I didn’t have to fend off tongue. I didn’t have to constantly tell a kid “cover up that wiener,” I didn’t have to do anything for anybody but me for five whole hours. It was the height of luxury!

I watched an episode of Veronica Mars (I feel a full series re-watch coming on), read a couple of chapters, made some ugly breast pads that are supposed to be really absorbent, tried to quilt Elsa’s doll quilt, spent an hour picking out quilting, ate lunch. All in all, I lead a life of excitement. I really wanted to do something exciting, but the thought of standing on my feet for more than 10 minutes didn’t thrill me. It was a lovely, lovely day no matter how domestic and boring it sounds.

I feel bad that I have been having such negative feelings towards Erik. He is actually a very sweet kid. Who gets mad at their kid for being too loving? He’s always been a snuggle bug. It’s one of his strong points. The pregnancy hormones make me way too touchy. I am also lacking Vitamin D since our outside time has been severely curtailed.

Seriously, how can I be so mean to such a sweet face?

He’s chunking up again, which I love. He is so cute when he has those pink, chubby cheeks. It is a bit worrisome, though. He just shot up a few inches a few weeks ago. We just bought a new wardrobe! Most of the shirts are comically large on him, so maybe they’ll look a little more normal if he has another little growth spurt. Here I’ve been patting myself on the back for my parenting prowess in regards to his eating habits, but I think he’s just hungry.

If you recall, when he turned 4 I decided I was done being a short order cook. He could eat what we eat for dinner. Then, a couple of months ago, I decided I wasn’t giving him enough variety of fruits and vegetables so I bought some sectioned plates which force me to make sure he has at least four separate items on his plate. It was really frustrating at first because I would fill each slot and he wouldn’t even try any of the things he didn’t already like. Now he complains if I serve him on a regular plate instead of his special plates and he generally devours everything I give him. He still has to warm up to totally new foods, but he has a lot more variety in his diet and is eating a lot healthier.

In other very exciting news, it looks like I am going to get to meet one of the very first bloggers I ever read! Some of you may know SAJ. I’m almost giddy! I have been blogging since 2001. I can’t remember when or how we met, but I know she was one of my first non-friend readers. That’s a long time! You may actually get to see some pregnant pictures of me this time around since I know she’ll have a camera with her. Thus far Erik has been my only photographer and he doesn’t have a knack for capturing my best light. He somehow manages to get lots of boob shots. I think that’s his favorite part.

Speaking of the boy, he got quite a shock today. He had his head laying on my belly and the baby gave him a huge kick in the face. He’s felt her before, but nothing like that. The look on his face was priceless. I think she may have flipped this weekend. I have been feeling most of the activity way down low–very painful! But yesterday and today I’ve mostly been feeling kicks up around my ribs.

Here’s hoping for a much better week. I have hope! Mike is not supposed to be working until 8 pm every night and Erik has lunch bunch tomorrow (an extra hour of preschool). We have things lined up every single day, so that should make the time go faster. Let’s all do a sun dance and hope March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a lamb. Would that be expecting too much?

I hate Mike’s cousin. I’ve never met the man. Mike hasn’t seen him in 15 years. But still, I hate.

He’s in DC for a few days and wants to get together with Mike. Fine. Good. Dandy.

Mike tried to pin him down on a time, but he kept saying he would call this morning and arrange something. We are busy people, but we are certainly willing to make time for a long lost relative that Mike will probably not get a chance to see again.

So the guy was supposed to call this morning. We had already told Erik that he was going to get to go on a train ride with Daddy. I was going to get a glorious few hours alone.

The guy never called. Mike kept calling and calling and calling. By noon Erik was in a hunger meltdown. Why I didn’t feed him before, I don’t know. Stupid me.

We decided to go out to lunch, cousin guy be damned. Erik had the biggest temper tantrum ever about wanting to ride on the train. It finally ended when I had my own temper tantrum. We went to lunch and Erik wouldn’t even sit by Mike. He had to sit by me and cuddle the whole time. “But Mommy, I just love you and want to cuddle.” Sweet, but it drives me up the friggin wall to have a kid hanging on me while I’m trying to eat lunch.

Get home. No message. Nothing.

Now. NOW! The fucktard calls and wants to meet up with Mike. The reason they were going to do a lunch is because Erik has a swim class this afternoon. I have no problem with Erik skipping his swim class, but he already knew about it and refused to skip it. So now Mike is off to DC while I’m stuck with the kid all by myself AGAIN after a long week of overtime with him. He’s crawling on me right now, running his hands through my hair, whining “I just want you mommy” any time I try to move away from him.

I NEED A BREAK!

I don’t care what happens tomorrow. I’m leaving. I don’t know where I’m going, but I need to be alone. I wonder if any decent movies are playing.

If we would have known this idiot wasn’t going to call until so late we could have spent our morning at a car dealership. Time is ticking away. I want to go buy my van. I can barely get in and out of my car anymore. I think a van seat might be easier on my pregnant body since it sits up higher.

Did I mention that my hand is killing me? I hate being old! Isn’t 35 way too young for arthritis?

Bah! I was so looking forward to a weekend, and now it is just in shambles. I know lots of people have things a lot worse than this. I’m healthy, my family is healthy, I have plenty to eat and a roof over my head. But I don’t care! I’m still pissed. I think in retaliation I’m going to order some of the diapers I really want but that seem too expensive. Good Mama Ones, here I come.

I hate my cell phone. I never carry it. When I do somehow manage to get it in my purse, it stays there until it runs out of batteries and then it is useless. I mainly hate it because I never hear it ring. Plus, who am I going to call? I don’t even call people on my regular phone.

Then we have a day like today. Having a working cell would have really improved my life.

We started the day at a friend’s house for a MOMS Club board meeting. I had to be strong and refuse to take on the presidency even though people were telling me that “so and so did it with a newborn!” But did they do it well? No. Would I even want to put myself in that position? Hell no.

Erik was having a ton of fun with the host’s little girl and started crying when it was time to leave. The host was apparently happy to have him entertaining her daughter because she offered to keep him, then take him to open gym and feed him lunch. Awesome!

Sadly, we were both scattered and didn’t really plan the pick-up very well. I thought she was going to call or I could go over there at 2.

I didn’t hear from her, so I headed over there at 2.

They weren’t there, so I decided to wait. I was in the parking lot and thought I saw them pull into the back side where their garage would be. I waited a couple of minutes since I know it can take some time to unload two preschoolers and a baby, then went and started ringing the doorbell.

Have you guys heard about this nor’easter thing we’re having? No snow, but hella horrible winds.

About five minutes later the neighbor who had been around back doing something walked up and told me that he saw them pull in so he knew they were there.

I rang that damn doorbell for a half hour!

I was on the verge of knocking on the neighbor’s door and asking if he was SURE he’d seen them and if we should call 911. What if she fell in the garage and needed help?

About that time she pulled up from the other direction. Wha??

It turns out she had pulled into the garage, ran into the house to get my phone number, started calling me, drove to my house to drop Erik off, couldn’t find me, so drove home. The whole time I was standing on the porch ringing the doorbell.

Damn my refusal to be responsible and carry a charged cell phone. I get my free new one on March 6, so I won’t have any excuses after that.

Wasn’t it nice of her to take Erik for a few hours? Despite standing out in the wind for a half hour, my day was much better than I expected. I needed that Erik break. I feel bad feeling like I just want to be away from him. I love him. I love cuddling with him in the mornings. I love talking to him. But does he have to sit perched on my arm, sticking my hair in his ear, licking my face, ALL THE TIME? Can’t he play a game or something? Even when I get out a game and try to play with him he prefers to be on me. The clingier he gets the grouchier I get the clingier he gets.

Since I had some unexpected free time and my hair looked like a giant St. Bernard head, I dropped in at a salon that I always have high hopes for but never pans out. I need to suck it up and make real appointments like a real grown up.

Today, though, it seemed to work out for the best. The lady actually seemed to know what she was doing. She made suggestions about the style I picked, pointing out how certain things would make it better for my face and hair type. She noticed my two cow licks and admitted there was no fixing them–we just had to work with them (something I always try to tell them, but some of them refuse to listen). She even noted that one side of my hair likes to flip out and the other side likes to tuck in. Another thing we just have to work with.

She was super annoying in her endless chatter, but I think I got a pretty great hair cut. We’ll see how it looks tomorrow when I have to do it myself. I would post a picture, but remember that whole episode of standing out in hurricane like winds for 30 minutes? It did no favors for my hair.

The very first thing she told me was that her last client had a still born baby in October. Hello! You don’t tell that to a pregnant lady! She also told me all about her desire for a boyfriend, her hope that her son keeps a helmet on his soldier when with his new girlfriend, and several other things that had my head reeling. Then she had to go out to her car and get a new razor. So totally unprofessional, yet possibly the best haircut I’ve had in years. I saved her card and will go back if the cut holds up to my very amateur styling.

I am firmly in the Tuesdays suck camp started by Pigs. Today has sucked immensely.

It all started at about 4 am when I was startled out of a sound sleep by the smell of smoke. The roof was on fire! Only it wasn’t! It was all a horrible dream. I was wide awake and totally paranoid that our neighbors chimney was somehow going to set our house on fire (they use wood heat). I had to come up with all sorts of plans on how to get out of the house, even though we already have plans. I realized that if the roof was on fire, I would probably be able to go down the stairs instead of out the emergency ladder, so at least I would be able to grab some shoes, my laptop and my big ass picture of Erik.

Then I was thinking about how we would have to go knock on doors all down our row and how hard it would be to wake every one up.

I have serious problems at 4 am.

I never really went back to sleep after that, which does not set the mood for a wonderful day.

We met our MOMS Club at the local library playroom for an hour. Erik was in a really weird mood and I was so embarrassed. We have a new member with a 3 yo girl and a toddler boy. We’ve seen them a couple of times and I really like the lady. Her daughter has been pretty shy in the past and was shy once again today. Erik comes up to me and starts telling me he doesn’t want any new friends, he doesn’t like the girl, he’s not going to talk to her, on and on. So rude!

I was completely stymied.

I’m glad the lady didn’t really know us so she could have attributed the behavior to a normal shy kid kind of behavior. I guess maybe some kids are shy like that? I don’t know. I have no experience in that area since Erik usually walks up to everyone he meets and introduces himself, asks what their names are and announces they are new best friends.

Luckily they both warmed up and ended up playing together for almost the whole hour, but it was still embarrassing at first.

When we got home, Erik continued to be a little pill. He decided there was only one thing he wanted to do this afternoon: jump out my bedroom window and land in the snow. Who wouldn’t want to jump out the second story window and land in a large pile of fluff? Except the pile of fluff is now mainly a pile of rock hard ice and isn’t even all that deep any more. If he really wanted to try it, he should have done it right after the blizzard, not two weeks later. Not that I would have let him do it then, but at least probably wouldn’t have broken any bones.

I’m just very thankful that our windows are a real bitch to open. I really do not need to be worrying about my lunatic son jumping out the window.

I see a lot of posts on Facebook about the Olympics: “Who would ever think to strap poles to their feet and go flying down a mountain?” Or “Who would ever think to lay down on a scrap of wood and go down a sheet of ice?”

I don’t remember who all was making comments like those, but I know I’ve seen it several times. Obviously they are not mothers of boys. Boys are crazy. I know there are crazy daredevil girls too, but I don’t know anything about that. I just know my boy would love to strap himself to a piece of wood and try flying down an icy embankment.

I did manage to make up a couple of new games that kept him entertained for a little while. The first game was a particular stroke of genius. It’s called “Can you find what Mommy is thinking about?” It was only good for about five minutes, but what a glorious five minutes. I told him I was thinking about something upstairs and he just had to find it. Then I laid in bed and rested while he brought me all kinds of random stuff. He had to put away each “loser” item before trying the next item. He thought it was great fun, though he did grow bored after about five minutes. I’ll take what I can get. He’s been so clingy and needy lately that any five minutes that he’s not on me petting my hair and trying to lick my face is five minutes of happiness.

The other game was actually a lot more interesting to him. He LOVES maps. We draw maps. We talk about maps. When we drive I always have to narrate what street we are on, which lane we’re in and what direction we are going to turn. He has never shown much interest in his Magnadoodle, but he found a little magnet today and was trying to figure out what was metal. There wasn’t much in the basement, but I spied the Magnadoodle and showed him how he could use the little magnet to draw. The little magnet was the perfect size to draw a map–various roads and places. Then he was able to take the pen and use it to draw his route to different places. He spent a good 45 minutes working on his maps and routes and talking to the people inside the Magnadoodle about where they were going. I’m glad to finally get some use out of that thing since he’s not into regular drawing.

I guess none of that sounds so bad, but did I mention the clinging and the defiance? I found myself yelling at him way too much today, finally ending with at “DO YOU LIKE TO BE YELLED AT????” The answer, of course, was yes. “It’s funny.” I guess it must be since the only way I can get him to move his ass and find his clothes, shoes and socks is to scream. I hate screaming. There has to be a better way. I sometimes count, but that doesn’t work so well because then he gets put in time out and that defeats the purpose. I want him to get dressed so we can leave the house. TIme out is just another time suck.

And yes, we do get dressed first thing in the morning. It’s just that by the time we leave the house an hour or two later all his clothes are off and scattered around the house. I am constantly on him to put his clothes on and he does, but as soon as I leave the room they are off again.

Can I duct tape his clothes on him?

At least we had his gym class this afternoon. We both needed to get out of here.

I went to the gym on Friday and actually felt a lot better after some time on the elliptical. I decided that the way it stretched my legs was actually good for my ligaments, so was looking forward to tonight.

Guess I was wrong.

It just kept getting more and more painful and finally at the 13 minute mark I had to give up because the pain was so intense. Bah! I need cardio!

I spent the rest of the time doing some machines for my arms and back. At least that’s something, but I am not happy to give up cardio already. I have seven weeks to go, then six weeks of recovery. Thirteen weeks! No! I am getting flabbier and flabbier every day! I know that is totally normal and to be expected since I’m pregnant. That’s what happens to pregnant ladies.

I am mainly just thinking about how hard it is to pack around a newborn all day, every day. I remember how badly my back hurt with Erik and am hoping to retain some sort of back muscle endurance so I’m not in so much pain when I have to pack this baby around.

I’m also thinking about my poor ass. I swear I’m carrying triplets. I have one in the tummy and one in each ass cheek. I’ve never had a big butt, but all those BodyPump squats pumped it up. Now the muscle is sagging, leaving me with a mess. I’m just not used to having a problem with that part of my body since I’m a classic apple shape.

*Note: Kisha she is one of your people–a couponer.

I finally finished re-reading HP4. I started before Christmas. I have no idea why it took so long, except I didn’t want to drag the book to Sweden and then I got several books for Christmas that I wanted to read.

Everything makes so much more sense now that I’ve read the whole series. JK Rowling really had a plan in mind. I think I better start book 5 tonight and keep the momentum going, even though I prefer the earlier books. I like happy and books 5-7 are anything but happy.

I think I’m going to give up on the book my friend recommended–The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk. I think the author’s name says it all. She is not an author. She is a thinker and activist. I guess. I don’t know much about her, I just know she can’t write fiction that makes sense. I’ve only read a couple chapters, but the point-of-view keeps shifting mid-paragraph which annoys the hell out of me. I’d consider myself a good read (hello! English major!) so if I can’t follow along I think it’s the author’s problem, not mine.

In other news. . .

What other news? Nothing going on here. Erik had preschool today, which was a very good thing. He was on my last nerve, but that’s nothing new. I thought I was going to smack him when he came home from school and said in the snottiest, rudest voice ever “Mommy, hang up my coat RIGHT NOW.”

You can bet your sweet bippy we had words and he was soon grovelling. Guess he thought he had to try out being an asshole and see what would happen. Testing boundaries is oh-so-much fun!

It’s funny how much we evolve as mothers as our children evolve into little people instead of blobs of screaming flesh. I used to get so upset and feel so guilty when I would have to set a hard limit, but those feelings of guilt are loooooooong gone. Now that he is a fairly rational being I expect him to behave fairly rationally. I am generally really pleased with his good manners and behavior (he was impressing the heck out of the old ladies at the grocery store today. He loves to wish people a nice day.), but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t drive me up a wall sometimes. I just wish my fuse wasn’t so short these days.

I got all the blocks sewn for my latest quilt. It’s just a small baby quilt from a kit. I’ve lost all confidence in my ability to choose colors and patterns. I think read too many quilting blogs and see too many beautiful things. I liked quilting better when I was more isolated and didn’t know what amazing things other people were doing. That’s always my problem. I probably need a therapist. I always want to be the best and if I can’t be the best I quit. I’d like to say there’s no such thing as “best” in crafting, but that’s not exactly true. Some people are much more creative, focused and driven than others. I am not really all that creative or driven. I don’t know. I am just feeling bummed about my lack of pretty. Stupid green eyed monster. I wish he’d stay away.

Anyway, maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to get the quilt top done. I’ll have to bribe Mike to fuse the parts together so I can quilt it, but at least it will be easy to quilt. I have another quilt all ready to go, but am dreading the actual quilting. My usual diagonal grid won’t look right on it, but I may have to give up and do it that way anyway.

Erik wants to know how it feels to be inside my tummy. I’ve told him it’s hot, wet, dark and tight. He doesn’t believe me. Any other ideas? We wrapped him up really tight in a quilt to try to show him, but he didn’t really make the connection.

It was so nice to get out of the house this weekend! I am sick of this snow, but it has been really warm the past few days so the piles are dwindling. Parts of the sidewalks are even totally clear, which is great for both pedestrians and drivers. Except you know what happens when several feet of snow melts? Garbage suddenly appears. So, so nasty.

We went to a very low-key birthday party yesterday–just five little boys running wild. Four of the moms were part of our co-op preschool, so it was really nice to visit with them. I realized the other day that I have known one of the ladies over four years. That’s some sort of record! We’ve lived in G’Town for almost five years. We’re settled. I love it. Life is so much easier when you have familiar faces that you run into occasionally, or people you can call on when you need help. I’ve known this one particular lady since I joined that first awful moms group. In fact, I only stuck around because I really liked her and didn’t want to lose touch. We usually see each other a couple of times a month these days. Pretty impressive when you consider that she is working full time this school year.

The party was interesting in some ways. The dad of the kid is kind of strange. If I was the betting type, I’d throw down a hundred dollar bill that the man has undiagnosed Asperger’s. The child is a little off as well, but he seemed a lot better yesterday. I think real preschool has been a major benefit to him.

The weirdest thing was the sword fight.

The dad had two foam swords and decided to teach the boys how to fence. Apparently he’d been a fencer (no idea on the terminology) in college. As you can imagine the boys LOVED it, but it didn’t end well. I know I’m a stick in the mud, but foam swords and preschool boys just don’t mix in my world.

Today we went over to our Dr. Saturn’s house. It was nice to get out of here, but boy oh boy do I feel sorry for Dr. S. Her son, Irish Lad, has major eating issues. She has always wanted to just starve him out–give him his food and he can eat it or be hungry. Her husband has always been very against this idea, but after some prodding from the pediatrician and trying a few other methods, he’s finally agreed to food boot camp. I have no idea how it will go, but it certainly can’t make things worse.

Just one little problem: you know what happens when kids don’t eat? They get cranky. I finally had to leave because I couldn’t take it any more. I’m glad my friend gets to send her son to daycare during the day or I don’t think they’d both be standing by next weekend. When Erik drives me crazy, I just have to think about this boy and how I would be driven to an insane asylum if I had to deal with him.

On the good side, my friend showed me a bunch of different types of cloth diapers and has some she can sell me if we decide we want them. This is the paragraph non-cloth diapering people can skip. I just learned all these terms. I definitely don’t want to do prefolds with a cover. That looks really messy. I could see doing a pocket diaper and I may try that out. The big winner, though, seems to be an all-in-two. Instead of sticking the insert in the pocket, you snap it into the diaper. It looks like the simplest, most effective cloth diapering method. Of course, the all-in-one would be even simpler, but I hear they are a bear to get dry. I also hear that I should avoid velcro. Snaps are the way to go. So maybe we have a plan. I can’t believe I am even considering this.

I can certainly see why it is tempting to sew your own. It doesn’t seem that difficult. Dear lord almighty, I do NOT want to get that into it. I don’t know why I have such resistance to that idea, but I do. All these money saving ideas always turn into huge time sucks. I need to give myself permission to spend money on these diapers because we will be saving a load of money even if I don’t sew them myself. Guilt be gone!

Ok, enough of that.

We got a flier about t-ball the other day. Is it really time to start thinking about organized sports? The price is certainly right compared to other sports programs around here, but after some nosing around I don’t think I’m ready to make a t-ball commitment. There would be two games a week plus practices. The practices are totally up to the coach. I don’t have time to be hauling Erik around to four or five t-ball events every week. I know that is the only way to really practice a sport, but yikes! I’m not ready to be mother an over scheduled child.

I am ready to become a minivan mom! I finally started looking around online to see what I could find out. I thought I wanted a Toyota Sienna because they are quite a bit cheaper than the Honda Odyssey, but do I really want a Toyota? I bet we could make a deal, but would we survive the aftermath? Also, Toyota doesn’t make a blue mini-van. They have about a million shades of black, silver and gold, but no blue. What’s so wrong with a pretty blue van?

I’m going to visit Honda while Erik is in school tomorrow and see if I can get a better handle on what I want/need and how much it will cost. I hate car shopping. Oh how I hate it. The Saturn is a piece of shit and I know I am not going to love getting both kids into the back of the car. I don’t know when we’ll have time to actually buy this van. Erik has a make-up swim class next Saturday, then we’re supposed to go down to DC and have dinner with one of Mike’s long lost cousins. Do they even have child friendly restaurants in DC? Not like Chuck E. Cheese or something, but just a place where the people won’t glare at a fairly well behaved four year old?

My poor little boy is suffering from anxiety, I’m afraid. Not that he could articulate that, but lately he is obsessed with talking about my Grandma. Every morning he announces “My Granny is dead.” Then he might go on to explain that she was old and sick and died. Or that she flew in an airplane up to the clouds. Or that we are never going to see her again. It is heart breaking, really. I let him believe she flew up in an airplane to the clouds. I have no idea what the afterlife, if there even is one, is like, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t involve airplanes. I’m not sure where he got that idea, but he’s four. He can believe whatever makes the most sense in his head. He has lots of years ahead of him to grapple with the big questions in life.

I had totally forgotten that we went to see Grandma in the hospital in July. Yesterday he started talking about her being in the hospital and that’s where the airplane came to get her and he doesn’t want me to go to the hospital to have the baby because the airplane will get me.

Shit!

I’m glad he started talking about it so I could do my best to reassure him that I won’t be going on an airplane to the clouds. I wonder if this is part of the reason he has been coming in to sleep with us and why he wants to constantly be on me. Today he said he wants the baby out of my tummy so he can be wrapped up in my tummy.

I wish I was a lot wiser and knew what to say, but I am just human. I’m just stumbling my way through the answers, trying to reassure him that it will all be ok, even though I can’t even really make that promise. It most likely will be ok, but what if it isn’t? I don’t even want to go there.

In better news, my mom’s tickets are booked! She’s going to be here for a whole month. Yikes! I’m excited and know she will be helpful, but a month is a long time for a house guest.

Due to the economy she is down to two cleaning jobs a week. She’s totally stressed out because of my dad and my sister. They take and take and take and take and take. Do they ever give anything back? Hells to the no. I’m glad we’re able to provide her a safe, happy place for a mini-vacation from her life. If it was up to me she would walk away from them and never go back, but that’s not a realistic expectation. Her other grandkids really need her. She is the only stabilizing force in their lives.

My sister is already bitching about me “stealing her mama” for a month. She has no idea how she will get along without her. I guess she’ll have to grow the hell up and act like a 33 year old instead of a 17 year old (sorry to insult mature 17 year olds).

My mom was totally excited to hear that we might give cloth diapering a try. She wanted to do it with Braxton but couldn’t find diapers, rubber pants or diaper pins. She was telling me that I need to get a bar of soap to store the diaper pins in so they will slide in the cloth better.

I was trying so hard not to laugh. I know she is clueless about modern cloth diapering. It has been over 30 years since she’s used cloth diapers. They are just not something you see in a place like Klamath Falls. I was trying to explain to her about diapers that just use snaps or velcro and come as all-in-ones so you don’t have to buy rubber pants or pins. She couldn’t conceive of the idea. I suppose I should send her a link to a picture. Not that she ever checks her e-mail.

Ok, we’re off to lunch. I really hope they have prime rib sandwiches today.

I tried really hard to find some drama or something weird to report. I think all the people I hang out with are too normal. We went to the recycling plant with our MOMS Club and had fun. The official presentation was not geared toward preschoolers at all. Erik was the oldest kid there and the most talkative. The guy giving the tour had no clue how to handle him and wouldn’t tell him to just be quiet and wait his turn. It was sort of embarrassing, especially when he declared to the whole group “I’m smart because I have lots of brains.” His new favorite thing to say, btw. I think I’ve mentioned that before.

If your life seems craptacular, take a moment to reflect on the job you could have. You could be sorting through people’s nasty trash 40 hours a week *gag gag gag*. I felt so sorry for the sorters! It didn’t smell too bad, but that’s only because it was really cold. They say it is horrible in the summer and I believe it.

You wouldn’t think a recycling plant would stink that bad since you’re supposed to wash your stuff before putting it in the bin. I think we may be the only family in the county that takes that rule seriously. I couldn’t believe some of the stuff we were seeing go by. People are nasty.

Anyway, the plant was really cool because it is totally set up for tours. You can drop by any time you want to go up and take a look. They have a catwalk with a Plexiglas barrier all around the equipment so you can stand up there as long as you want and watch everything. Erik loved it. I didn’t love it, but it was pretty interesting. Did you now that 50% of all polyester carpet made in the US is made from recycled bottles? Recycling really is useful!

Erik had swim class again tonight, which was a good thing. He has been begging for swim class for two weeks. We have class at the same time as one of my good friends. I didn’t plan it that way, but I thought it was a nice coincidence. Her son is in a more advanced class since they’ve been going for months.

Whoa.

I knew she was a competitive person and approaches parenting in a very different way than I do, but I didn’t realize how that would translate into something like swimming lessons.

I thought we’d probably sit around and visit, but she spends the whole 30 minutes intensely watching her son and yelling out criticisms and encouragements. When he’s supposed to swim a little bit, she gets up and walks along the side of the pool, clapping and yelling.

That is so not my style. I guess when Erik gets to the point where he has to swim the length of the pool I will cheer him on, but in general I don’t feel it is my job to correct him or chastise him. I’m paying good money for a professional teacher. I sit down and watch the show, waving at him occasionally and giving him a thumbs up when he looks my way. I have no desire to interfere with the teacher’s discipline.

Tangent: Ice skating must be really hard. All these guys keep falling down.

Remember all my worry about what to dress the baby in? Problem solved. One of my MOMS Club friends gave me two big bags full of spring and summer clothes! Lots and lots of cute, practical clothes. Whew! I don’t have to have an anxiety attack in Kohls any time soon.

Also, thank you SO MUCH for all the cloth diapering info. It is so hard to know how to prepare for something like this (if we decide to do it) because so much depends on the baby. We tried all the different diapers with Erik and Huggies were the only ones that didn’t leak/blow out all the time. I’ve had other people tell me they hate Huggies, but I guess they were shaped just right for Erik’s body.

My real life friend says she has newborn diapers I can have (I offered to pay, though) if I want to try it out. We shall see. I can’t decide anything at this point. My brain is too mushy.

I haven’t been to the gym in almost three weeks. I am feeling really flabby and gross. I may try to go tomorrow, round ligament pains be damned. I hate poking my leg and feeling it go soft. I may be big, but I’m usually hard and muscular (except for my stomach).

It was so nice to have some sense of normality back in our day today. Preschool! Whoo-hoo! Now, will someone send me lots of money so I can sign him up for a summer full of camps? I signed him up for one two-week session. I think that will be the extent of his summer camp experience. I’m not looking forward to summer. Not at all.

In other news, I had an OB appointment today. I had to take Erik with me, but it turned out ok. He was fascinated by the heartbeat and helped the doctor read the numbers. He also told the doctor he was really smart and has lots of brains. Nothing like a humble child.

The subject of my weight finally came up. I’ve gained three pounds. Whoo-hoo! Apparently this is not a good thing when you’re 31 weeks pregnant. I explained my theory that I’m losing muscle mass and that seemed to be acceptable. I expect I’ll plump up big time in the next two months. I have been having really terrible round ligament pains when I walk, stand or stretch wrong. Elliptical? Not such a good idea. I am not pleased. I was doing so great until the gym childcare was shut down for two weeks because of the snow! Boo. I think I may go in and try to work out anyway and maybe it will loosen things up or something. I don’t know.

Also, can we start a count down? Unless Elsa has other plans, she will be born on April 13! I know it is silly, but I love that the kids will have birthdays exactly six months apart.

Erik was so excited about this appointment I think I’m going to take him to the ultrasound. It’s just at my regular OB office so I feel like I can take him. I’ve had my other two done at the high risk/fertility clinic and after reading so many infertility blogs I felt like it would be really tacky to take him with me. But the regular OB? Well, sorry if there are any infertile women in the crowd, but the office is always full of pregnant women so there’s not a lot I can do to not hurt their feelings.

Thanks for all the responses about cloth diapering! I had no idea so many of you were doing cloth diapers. I suppose that’s because you are not all obsessed with it, which makes me a lot more comfortable with the idea. I just can’t see myself hanging out at forums that require you to use a bunch of blinkies to describe your parenting views. I don’t do blinkies. Ever.

I guess Mike and I need to revisit this discussion. I just can’t believe the cost of a box of diapers! I am not good at all those crazy coupon deals. Math hurts my head.

So what kind of diapers do you use? What do you like about them? What don’t you like? How many do you need? I suppose I should talk to my RL friend about all this, but she’ll have me behind her serger, sewing bamboo velour and embroidering rockets on the butt. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (she has super cute diapers), but I don’t have time to get excited about serging and embroidering. I can’t let myself get caught up in anything more than ordering X amount of diapers and calling it good.

I went down to the mall while Erik was in school and picked up his giant portrait. Oh. My. God. It is GIANT! At least he likes it. Again, not a humble child.

While I was picking it up I ran into a friend from the MOMS Club and she wanted to look. I was so embarrassed to have her think I spent a million dollars on a giant picture of my kid. In reality I only spent $60 which was still probably too much. But, as Heather has said, I can get a giant picture of Elsa when she’s 4 and it will be our “thing” and it will be ok. Right? I shouldn’t be embarrassed because I think my kid is handsome.

We don’t have any Catholic blood in our family, but we seem to be full of Catholic guilt. I feel so guilty when I spend money on things like this.

I need a new and exciting adventure to come up. I am boring even myself. There is only so much that goes on when you stay at home all day and think about entertaining your older kid and buying clothes for you unborn child. I have no freakin’ clue how to dress a summer girl baby. Do they make little summer rompers for little tiny girls? Gymboree didn’t have anything I liked. The summer clothes didn’t seem particularly baby friendly. I am all about comfort for a little newborn, probably because my own skin is so sensitive. The dresses they had seemed too harsh and scratchy. Plus, I don’t like babies with regular shirts anyway because they just bunch up under the armpits. Onsies are a must, but do you just stick them in a onsie with no bottoms? It is so hot here in the summer, but no bottom seems unfinished. I suppose I need to go to Kohls and Pennys next month and check out their spring/summer stuff. They’ll probably have more realistic clothes.

I am going to try really hard to have a fun adventure tomorrow just so I can have better blog fodder. We’re going on a tour of the recycling plant and Erik has swim class, so surely someone will do something crazy that I can report on.

I guess a big part of my problem is that I never want to post anything about people I actually know. That’s bit me in the butt too many times. I have some crazy stories about crazy things, but. . . the lip? It is zipped. Or would that be the fingers?

I’ve had a horrible taste in my mouth for months. I’m tired of it. I would like to provide Mike with a hot meal each evening and have been working hard on doing so (not so much working as in cooking–working as in motivating myself to think of something to cook). It is so strange to have such a lack of interest in food.

We had quite a night last night. If you recall, Erik was sick a couple of weeks ago and started sleeping with us again. After he got better we had a long talk about what a brave, big boy he was and he was back in his own bed through the night. Hallelujah!

Except last night he crawled back into our bed, claiming to be scared.

I was strong. I took him back to his room and laid with him for-freakin’-ever until he went back to sleep.

Ten minutes later he was back in our bed, saying he was scared. By that time I gave up and he just slept with us. Ugh.

He must have wore himself out because he slept till 9 am. I can’t complain about that!

Tonight I made sure he had his pal Fluffy, so hopefully Fluffy can give him courage if he wakes in middle of the night. I can’t do the co-sleeping thing. No no no no no no.

I can’t stand to think of him laying in his bed, scared. But I also want some sleep. Quite the conundrum.

I braved Wal-Mart today. *shudder* I hate our Wal-Mart. It is totally ghetto, dirty and crowded. I wanted to check out prices on baby gear. Turns out they don’t have jack shit. I did buy some necessities like butt paste and diapers. My eyes about fell out of my head when I saw the diaper prices. They’ve gone up considerably in the past four years! Maybe we need to reconsider the cloth diaper option. Do you know how badly I don’t want to cloth diaper? My best friend here is a cloth diaper person and it seems like a total pain in the ass. Not that she complains. She loves it and wouldn’t have it any other way.

Maybe I would have time to cloth diaper if it didn’t seem to come with an automatic obsession with sewing your own diapers, buying snap presses and hanging out at cloth diapering boards. Not that there’s anything wrong with that *looks at my CD friends*, but it just doesn’t appeal to me at all.

In other news, today was great! We were able to get out of the house! Finally, things are open! We went to the Romp ‘n Roll where Erik was the only “kid.” He was really mad because all the rest of the patrons were babies. I never thought I’d start going to things like that and have the big kid instead of the little baby. My how things change.

He also had his gym class. Can I get a high five? Peace! Sweet, sweet peace! Tomorrow he has school, so I’ll be doing the happy preschool dance.

I have no idea what I’m going to do this summer with a newborn and a preschooler. Mike said I could put him in a two week session of half-day summer camp. That’s only two weeks. I have a lot more weeks I have to get through. This summer is really going to suck, isn’t it?

At least the snow will be melted. What a pain in the butt. I don’t want it to melt too fast since that is a recipe for a big flood, but I am tired of looking at piles of snow everywhere. A lot of places don’t have their parking lots cleared, which makes things interesting. It’s hard to see around corners when driving. We have an awning over our front porch that is dripping water right on our step, causing a thick pile of super slippery ice. I am going to kill myself.

I did find a bag of rock salt at Wal-Mart and that seems to be helping. I thought rock salt just meant that it was big rock-like chunks of salt, but apparently it means that it also has rocks in it. Or at least this bag also had a lot of sand and rocks mixed into the salt. Nice! I was thinking I should raid Erik’s sandbox and sand down the step, but the rock salt is a better bet.

I lead a thrilling life! Rock salt and bad tastes in my mouth. Does it get any more exciting? Not that I am asking for exciting. Two of my bloggy friends are having excitement, but not of the positive kind. I am quite happy to lead a boring life if it means I am healthy, my family is healthy and everything is on track. I feel so bad for my friends. That’s the one thing I hate about blogging. I want to reach out to these women and do something tangible like babysit or take over a meal, but that’s just not possible.